Month: June 2015

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Well I think I’m going to have “The Vapors”

Screen Shot 2015 06 18 at 4 10 21 PM

So sometimes I get all snarky, and sometimes the people I love respond in interesting ways.

I saw this headline from The Daily News  ‘White people are terrorists!’ Heckler yells at CNN during live broadcast in Charleston, calls Don Lemon an ‘Uncle Tom’

I grabbed the link and sent it off to a friend prefaced with

Well then, I guess we’re done with any attempt at living together!

Wow…

Barbarians 1987

What I got back was this…

Here’s the truth of it,

It’s a divided country… culturally, sexually, politically, in all ways. We are no more than the animals from which we descended. We’ve painted a thin veneer of “civilization” on top of the denial we have practiced for generations. As our country and culture ages, that veneer is being chipped away.

Now its nature’s way of saying, “Who the fuck do you people think you are?… Do you think you’re special?… Go fuck yourselves!”

If there is a god, it’s, “You’re here to amuse me, that’s it… go fuck yourselves!”.

So you wish you could run away to another country?… Riiiiight!… Won’t make no nevermind where you go.

Earth

There’s a storm approaching. There may be nothing left in the aftermath but 8 billion bloated meat puppets. We will have earned it.

Something is trying to tell the world, “You’re no more than children. And children often need to be reminded of the order of things.”

The view from 45,000 ft. is that of a world of primitive barbarians engaged in perpetual tribal warfare.

We need to adopt the same view from the ground… behave accordingly… and stop acting so fucking shocked and surprised.

Here’s your next blog entry.

And there you have it.

Easiest blog I’ve ever posted.

Then in a related story… There’s this

Woman calls for Race War at Scene of Church Shooting

Apparently this is the same woman that called Don Lemon an “Uncle Tom”.  Who says African Americans can’t be racists?

All I can say is this has either got to STOP… or BRING IT!  All the simmering hatred is like a festering pustule on the ass of the world, we either need to just pop it or heal it.

It doesn’t matter which direction we take, we can’t go on like this.

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All Hail the Death of Social Media (Thank God)

Myspace

Ok, perhaps I’m high, or simply well ahead of my time. I’ve had an on again, off again relationship with Social media.

Let’s look at this shall we?

Anyone remember Myspace? I actually had to go look it up, I couldn’t remember the name to save my life, and I had an account at one time. 

I had (Past Tense) a Facebook account. Haven’t missed it since I shut it down.

I’m on Twitter but the vitriol on Twitter is getting to the point that it’s not fun anymore.

LinkedIn is interesting, but even that site is becoming questionable. Really? Dick shots on my timeline? Uhh, suppose I’m looking for a job?

Thanks DUMBASS, I really appreciate your posting potentially offensive material on a professionally oriented website. Oh and by the way, I appreciate the morons that favorited said dick shot. You’ve propagated it across all your friends timelines too, well fucking done! To the owner of the dick… Umm there are some things no-one needs to see and your personal dick is, umm, one of those things. #uglydick #caring

MediaMonsters

I’ve never had instagram, vimeo, or any of the rest of the social media things.

I’ll personally be happy to see all these things relegated to the dustbin of computer history.  

You know, like the 36 PIN Centronics parallel printer cable?

These “social” sites and applications aren’t bringing us closer together they’re excuses to sit on our couches being hateful to each other.

Centronics Connector

Internet trolls multiply like antibiotic resistant Staphylococcus. I’m still unclear what the whole troll Raison d’être is.

I mean what’s the point of being inflammatory if you don’t even believe the shit you’re spewing? If it’s just about attention, then why do these “Trolls” immediately block someone that has an alternative opinion and the facts to back up what they say? 

internettroll

Even negative attention is attention. 

Why do the trolls even bother to seek out groups of people that they know will disagree with them, when they could just as easily hang out with a bunch of people that think exactly like they do? Wouldn’t they want to get positive reinforcement no matter how wacky their opinion is?

I’ve been thinking about it because I was noticing that I was using Twitter less and less.

When I do login my timeline is full of trolls duking it out with people who know their shit and yet… the battles go on and on. I can’t take more than about 10 minutes of it now.

I’m going to purge my timeline, my tweets, and thin out the folks I’m following. Maybe that will make the time line less vicious and more interesting. 

Perhaps I’ll ride Twitter into inevitable oblivion, maybe not, I’m still undecided.

Screen Shot 2015 06 17 at 7 48 41 PM

I have no clue what the future of social media holds, but I think it’s on it’s way out. 

More and more people are going to completely ephemeral communications. like instant messages that self destruct after they’re read.

It sounds mission impossible but I can see the point. There are still HR departments and bosses that want to know if you’ve got a social media account so they can monitor it.

I welcome the time when Facebook, Twitter, and all the other social media sites are considered “quaint” and outdated.

I wonder if I should be concerned about what will replace these quaint communication forms… 

God I hope it’s not going to be some tacky ass antenna sticking out of my skull! 

I stumbled across an article titled  Why Bloggers Are Calling it Quits a day or two after I wrote this blog piece. 

There’s a quote from Andrew Sullivan that sums it up very well:

I am saturated in digital life and I want to return to the actual world again. I’m a human being before I am a writer; and a writer before I am a blogger … I yearn for other, older forms. I want to read again, slowly, carefully. I want to absorb a difficult book and walk around in my own thoughts with it for a while. I want to have an idea and let it slowly take shape, rather than be instantly blogged. I want to write long essays that can answer more deeply and subtly the many questions that the Dish years have presented to me. I want to write a book.

The entire piece is worth a read.

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han oo fr clln n i hep oo ma me isih oosihebbb!

boredwomanonphone

han oo fr  clln n i hep oo ma me isih oosihebbb!

That’s what I heard when I called ADT this morning.

No, it wasn’t a bad connection. This was the speech pattern of the person that answered the phone.

It took me exactly 1 millisecond to hang up the phone. If I’d attempted to carry on a conversation with the young lady, I would not have been able to remain kind.

As it was in that millisecond, a sentence had formed in my head that went something like:

a ho

“Young lady would you please remove that cock from your mouth while we’re on the phone? I know you’re a Ho but you shouldn’t be working both jobs at the same time.”

I figured I’d better disconnect lest I have a replay of the Verizon conversation wherein I was labeled racist.

Since I’ve embraced my inner racism I’m not filtering racist comments too well. 

I have a tough time talking to someone who purposely works at making themselves hard to understand. It’s one thing to make accommodation for someone who’s fresh off the boat.

It’s quite another thing to be forced to make accommodation for a person whose family has been in this country for 200 years.

oldphone

I used to feel guilty about it.

NOW I feel like “I’m paying for your goods or services, the least you can do is put someone on the phone that speaks in a manner that is comprehensible.”

In this particular situation, I was going to be dealing with financial issues and I was in no mood to have that kind of conversation with someone that was at best poorly educated & at worst was an idiot.

YES! Boys & Girls, people judge you by the way you express yourselves.  OMG! It’s profiling!!!!!!

Yeah, SO WHAT? Get the fuck over it!

SkankyHo

After talking with my bank in Clear English, I called back and got a lovely lady who also spoke clear concise English. Our conversation cleared up the problem in 3 minutes and neither of us was annoyed by the encounter.

You know, the way it used to be… the way it’s supposed to be.

Old School, services paid for – services rendered.

In other words, the same transaction model a prostitute uses.

Here’s the difference between a Ho and Prostitute.

Classy

A Ho will suck your dick for $25, and you might even get off.

A Prostitute will suck your dick for $25 and she’ll act like she’s choking on it and it’s the biggest best thing she’s had in her mouth ever. That’s a pro, she’s looking to be remembered, wants you to feel like a stud, and wants repeat business with reliable clients. 

We need a lot more prostitutes in call centers!