Month: June 2015

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One of those nights…

Hell

It’s hot. 

Not brutally HELL hot, but warm enough that sleep is hard to come by.

Like most guys I’ve already tried using our built-in sleeping aid. Multiple times! There’s only so many times you can get your rocks off and not fall asleep before you say fuck it!

That’s where I am now. The fuckit phase. My body is happily relaxed, I’m sitting here at my desk naked as the day I was born, albeit a bit hairier. The other half is tossing and turning, and snoring so loud it’s rattling the walls. This may be one of those nights where I sleep here in the office / guest room.  I have a tall glass of water but am contemplating something stronger. 

Rise of the Guardians Sandman

The Sandman is freakin late! I have a good mind to punch him square in the face when he does finally come.

It’s supposedly not a good idea to work on computers or iPads if you’re trying to fall asleep. but I don’t want to lay in bed looking at the ceiling wondering if I should abuse and frustrate myself again. Besides, I’m running low on personal lubricant! After all there’s only so many orgies you can host before your lube supply shows the strain.

So here I am blogging.

Recently I’ve been asking myself why I blog at all. The answer seems to be that this fulfills a need to express myself and I think of the blog as more like a diary of sorts. It’s obviously not like the locked up super secret private journal that many people keep. No, this is out there and public, and would probably prevent me from seeking political office.

Maybe that too is a good thing, I’m not sure I could sell my soul the way our politicians have to just to get elected. I don’t lie very well.

03 19 2014 plaid 7

Don’t get me wrong… I can lie better than any politician you care to name. It’s just that I choose to live telling as few lies as is possible. “Yes that dress has a slimming effect on you.” (Subconsciously, I’m thinking, “in the same way black slims down the size of an 18 wheeler.”)

Lying about my principals, or core beliefs is something that I’d rather not do. My preference is to simply keep my mouth shut and in extreme cases; at a party for example, I’ll have another drink. The trouble is, if I were running for office I’d be drunk off my ass most of the time.  Maybe that would work. Our politicians seem to be drunk or high more often than not. I’d hate to believe that they were naturally as stupid and dishonest as they appear to be. Realistically, they probably are, but that’s another discussion.

Porn?

Kiss, kiss, kiss, lick, lick, lick, suck, suck, suck, fuck, fuck, fuck, ropey globs of cum, artificially happy & satisfied, expressions. The dudes in gay films are happy because they just made 3k! Hell, I’d be smiling too! I don’t know what the pay scale is for the cast in a straight movie. I suppose the women are paid pretty well, but the dudes aren’t.  Thus the saying, “gay for pay.”

However, while I usually don’t make it through the first scene of a porn flick before I fall asleep. Most porn is predictable. Well, at least the first 5 minutes of the first scenes, that’s usually all I see before I’m off in dreamland. Tonight it’s unlikely that will work

DoleQueue

I’m amped about jobs, and money, and trying to chart a future (and failing) which is adding to my angst. That’s how I can be physically very relaxed and mentally my brain is in overdrive.  

Funny, my writing this seems to have quieted my mind. 

Gentle reader you should probably book mark this one, if my writing it put me to sleep, You reading it should work pretty much like the best sleeping pill you can buy.

Donations gratefully accepted!

Good night!

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5 – 4

White house rainbow

I never thought this day would come during my lifetime. Yet here we are, marriage for all, is the law of the land. 

I’m still trying to process all the ramifications. 

I’ve already been invited to two weddings. I expect that I’ll be invited to a lot more. Will I be standing at the altar? (Shudder!)

I find myself wondering about the other side of the coin too.  How many people now faced with the commitment of marriage, are re-evaluating their relationship?

What happens when one partner says, “Let’s get married”, and the other partner freaks out. Equality has truly arrived. We’ll see gay guys in bars saying, “We were fine, then HE started talking marriage, I’m just not ready for that!”

Given that so many gay bars are closing, It’ not going to be long before gay and straight men are together in a sports bar together bemoaning their sudden “singleness” because they’re not ready for commitment.

I see a whole lot of “Bromances” in our future.

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I don’t know which is worse… Chinese Hackers or Indian Headhunters

Kumar

Ok, 

Maybe I’ve overstated it a bit. Clearly the Chinese hacker is worse.

I just got an email from a headhunter, and this time I’m going to shame them, that’s what we do now days isn’t it?

There are a number of issues with this email.

First, this guy has contacted me before about other opportunities at the same company. I’ve politely responded to each and every one of these supposed opportunities and received NOTHING.

Not one single acknowledgement of any of my emails instructing him to submit my resume or any of my subsequent follow-ups on the status of the position.

Second, is this:

Please let me know should you be interested and revert  back with your updated resume along with the best time to  reach you asap. In case you are not interested, we request you to refer a friend or a colleague who might also be interested in this position. We have an attractive referral policy.

IIC New York

Revert back?

Wasn’t India a British colony? Don’t they still have a British based school system?

Third, Rajesh has a copy of my resume and he refers to the fact that he’s reviewed my resume prior to sending me the information on this position with Toyota.

Shouldn’t his sentence have been more like “Please let me know should you be interested and reply with an updated resume if applicable. ”

Fourth, since ol Rajesh won’t respond to my emails if I were to refer someone else to his company,  I’d NEVER be able to collect on that attractive referral now would I?

Thanks to Google Maps, Street View I can confirm that there is really a building at the address listed, although I wouldn’t have been surprised in the least if there had been an empty field.

I had no sooner written a response to Rajesh and pressed send. When another email came in. 

SS

This second email is the height of bad form. But what makes me really suspicious of it’s origin is the header information.

I’m going to investigate this company a little more so I’m not going to totally shame them.

The header is suspicious because the person sending the email is also the person to whom the email is addressed. It’s not until I dig into the header that I find my email address.

It almost looks like someone is spoofing the email except there are no links pointing anywhere other than to the company referenced in the footer. So maybe the email is legit.

The text of the email is:

Hello,

I have an immediate opening for Facets Tester –East Coast claims Exp.

With Regards

While I admire brevity, my only response to this email has to be “That’s Nice, now what?”

“Facets” is an ambiguous term. It could refer to the GEE WHIZ new term (designed to make something “Sound” special) for testing filters in web searches. 

blue bonnet w flowers

Think “Womens Bonnets” — 25,000 items

add “Blue” — 5000 items

add “With Flowers + Floral” — 25 items

These are “Facets” of an item or search. In other words it’s a SQL search.

SELECT FROM Clothing WHERE Gender like ‘Womens’ AND ClothingType like ‘Bonnets’ — 25,000 items

AND Color like ‘Blue’ — 5000 items

AND Decoration like ‘Flowers’

OR Decoration like ‘Floral’ — 25 items

Apologies to the real SQL folks out there, I know some of you could do it all in one single statement. My SQL is a bit rusty.

I’m not sure why we keep renaming shit. It just annoys the crap out of everyone. If it’s NOT NEW then leave the name alone!

Facets healthcare System

Or, and the more likely meaning of “Facets” in this email is referring to a healthcare billing / insurance system called Facets. I’m basing that on the term “Claims Exp.” in the email.

But does this email mean that they want East Coast claims experience or that the position is located somewhere on the East Coast? Again, I’m left to wonder.

I swear I’ve thought more and more lately about just starting a Headhunting agency. The tag line would something like “We Do everything OLD school!”

For some of the hiring managers I know, “Old School” would be a breath of fresh air.

My goodness, I’m turning away from social media in one posting, and now I’m espousing the virtues of Old School job recruitment in another. 

Next, I’ll be writing a book on a typewriter!

Ok who put the Luddite pills in my cream of wheat?