Month: June 2015

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One of those nights…

Hell

It’s hot. 

Not brutally HELL hot, but warm enough that sleep is hard to come by.

Like most guys I’ve already tried using our built-in sleeping aid. Multiple times! There’s only so many times you can get your rocks off and not fall asleep before you say fuck it!

That’s where I am now. The fuckit phase. My body is happily relaxed, I’m sitting here at my desk naked as the day I was born, albeit a bit hairier. The other half is tossing and turning, and snoring so loud it’s rattling the walls. This may be one of those nights where I sleep here in the office / guest room.  I have a tall glass of water but am contemplating something stronger. 

Rise of the Guardians Sandman

The Sandman is freakin late! I have a good mind to punch him square in the face when he does finally come.

It’s supposedly not a good idea to work on computers or iPads if you’re trying to fall asleep. but I don’t want to lay in bed looking at the ceiling wondering if I should abuse and frustrate myself again. Besides, I’m running low on personal lubricant! After all there’s only so many orgies you can host before your lube supply shows the strain.

So here I am blogging.

Recently I’ve been asking myself why I blog at all. The answer seems to be that this fulfills a need to express myself and I think of the blog as more like a diary of sorts. It’s obviously not like the locked up super secret private journal that many people keep. No, this is out there and public, and would probably prevent me from seeking political office.

Maybe that too is a good thing, I’m not sure I could sell my soul the way our politicians have to just to get elected. I don’t lie very well.

03 19 2014 plaid 7

Don’t get me wrong… I can lie better than any politician you care to name. It’s just that I choose to live telling as few lies as is possible. “Yes that dress has a slimming effect on you.” (Subconsciously, I’m thinking, “in the same way black slims down the size of an 18 wheeler.”)

Lying about my principals, or core beliefs is something that I’d rather not do. My preference is to simply keep my mouth shut and in extreme cases; at a party for example, I’ll have another drink. The trouble is, if I were running for office I’d be drunk off my ass most of the time.  Maybe that would work. Our politicians seem to be drunk or high more often than not. I’d hate to believe that they were naturally as stupid and dishonest as they appear to be. Realistically, they probably are, but that’s another discussion.

Porn?

Kiss, kiss, kiss, lick, lick, lick, suck, suck, suck, fuck, fuck, fuck, ropey globs of cum, artificially happy & satisfied, expressions. The dudes in gay films are happy because they just made 3k! Hell, I’d be smiling too! I don’t know what the pay scale is for the cast in a straight movie. I suppose the women are paid pretty well, but the dudes aren’t.  Thus the saying, “gay for pay.”

However, while I usually don’t make it through the first scene of a porn flick before I fall asleep. Most porn is predictable. Well, at least the first 5 minutes of the first scenes, that’s usually all I see before I’m off in dreamland. Tonight it’s unlikely that will work

DoleQueue

I’m amped about jobs, and money, and trying to chart a future (and failing) which is adding to my angst. That’s how I can be physically very relaxed and mentally my brain is in overdrive.  

Funny, my writing this seems to have quieted my mind. 

Gentle reader you should probably book mark this one, if my writing it put me to sleep, You reading it should work pretty much like the best sleeping pill you can buy.

Donations gratefully accepted!

Good night!

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5 – 4

White house rainbow

I never thought this day would come during my lifetime. Yet here we are, marriage for all, is the law of the land. 

I’m still trying to process all the ramifications. 

I’ve already been invited to two weddings. I expect that I’ll be invited to a lot more. Will I be standing at the altar? (Shudder!)

I find myself wondering about the other side of the coin too.  How many people now faced with the commitment of marriage, are re-evaluating their relationship?

What happens when one partner says, “Let’s get married”, and the other partner freaks out. Equality has truly arrived. We’ll see gay guys in bars saying, “We were fine, then HE started talking marriage, I’m just not ready for that!”

Given that so many gay bars are closing, It’ not going to be long before gay and straight men are together in a sports bar together bemoaning their sudden “singleness” because they’re not ready for commitment.

I see a whole lot of “Bromances” in our future.

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I don’t know which is worse… Chinese Hackers or Indian Headhunters

Kumar

Ok, 

Maybe I’ve overstated it a bit. Clearly the Chinese hacker is worse.

I just got an email from a headhunter, and this time I’m going to shame them, that’s what we do now days isn’t it?

There are a number of issues with this email.

First, this guy has contacted me before about other opportunities at the same company. I’ve politely responded to each and every one of these supposed opportunities and received NOTHING.

Not one single acknowledgement of any of my emails instructing him to submit my resume or any of my subsequent follow-ups on the status of the position.

Second, is this:

Please let me know should you be interested and revert  back with your updated resume along with the best time to  reach you asap. In case you are not interested, we request you to refer a friend or a colleague who might also be interested in this position. We have an attractive referral policy.

IIC New York

Revert back?

Wasn’t India a British colony? Don’t they still have a British based school system?

Third, Rajesh has a copy of my resume and he refers to the fact that he’s reviewed my resume prior to sending me the information on this position with Toyota.

Shouldn’t his sentence have been more like “Please let me know should you be interested and reply with an updated resume if applicable. ”

Fourth, since ol Rajesh won’t respond to my emails if I were to refer someone else to his company,  I’d NEVER be able to collect on that attractive referral now would I?

Thanks to Google Maps, Street View I can confirm that there is really a building at the address listed, although I wouldn’t have been surprised in the least if there had been an empty field.

I had no sooner written a response to Rajesh and pressed send. When another email came in. 

SS

This second email is the height of bad form. But what makes me really suspicious of it’s origin is the header information.

I’m going to investigate this company a little more so I’m not going to totally shame them.

The header is suspicious because the person sending the email is also the person to whom the email is addressed. It’s not until I dig into the header that I find my email address.

It almost looks like someone is spoofing the email except there are no links pointing anywhere other than to the company referenced in the footer. So maybe the email is legit.

The text of the email is:

Hello,

I have an immediate opening for Facets Tester –East Coast claims Exp.

With Regards

While I admire brevity, my only response to this email has to be “That’s Nice, now what?”

“Facets” is an ambiguous term. It could refer to the GEE WHIZ new term (designed to make something “Sound” special) for testing filters in web searches. 

blue bonnet w flowers

Think “Womens Bonnets” — 25,000 items

add “Blue” — 5000 items

add “With Flowers + Floral” — 25 items

These are “Facets” of an item or search. In other words it’s a SQL search.

SELECT FROM Clothing WHERE Gender like ‘Womens’ AND ClothingType like ‘Bonnets’ — 25,000 items

AND Color like ‘Blue’ — 5000 items

AND Decoration like ‘Flowers’

OR Decoration like ‘Floral’ — 25 items

Apologies to the real SQL folks out there, I know some of you could do it all in one single statement. My SQL is a bit rusty.

I’m not sure why we keep renaming shit. It just annoys the crap out of everyone. If it’s NOT NEW then leave the name alone!

Facets healthcare System

Or, and the more likely meaning of “Facets” in this email is referring to a healthcare billing / insurance system called Facets. I’m basing that on the term “Claims Exp.” in the email.

But does this email mean that they want East Coast claims experience or that the position is located somewhere on the East Coast? Again, I’m left to wonder.

I swear I’ve thought more and more lately about just starting a Headhunting agency. The tag line would something like “We Do everything OLD school!”

For some of the hiring managers I know, “Old School” would be a breath of fresh air.

My goodness, I’m turning away from social media in one posting, and now I’m espousing the virtues of Old School job recruitment in another. 

Next, I’ll be writing a book on a typewriter!

Ok who put the Luddite pills in my cream of wheat?

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Well I think I’m going to have “The Vapors”

Screen Shot 2015 06 18 at 4 10 21 PM

So sometimes I get all snarky, and sometimes the people I love respond in interesting ways.

I saw this headline from The Daily News  ‘White people are terrorists!’ Heckler yells at CNN during live broadcast in Charleston, calls Don Lemon an ‘Uncle Tom’

I grabbed the link and sent it off to a friend prefaced with

Well then, I guess we’re done with any attempt at living together!

Wow…

Barbarians 1987

What I got back was this…

Here’s the truth of it,

It’s a divided country… culturally, sexually, politically, in all ways. We are no more than the animals from which we descended. We’ve painted a thin veneer of “civilization” on top of the denial we have practiced for generations. As our country and culture ages, that veneer is being chipped away.

Now its nature’s way of saying, “Who the fuck do you people think you are?… Do you think you’re special?… Go fuck yourselves!”

If there is a god, it’s, “You’re here to amuse me, that’s it… go fuck yourselves!”.

So you wish you could run away to another country?… Riiiiight!… Won’t make no nevermind where you go.

Earth

There’s a storm approaching. There may be nothing left in the aftermath but 8 billion bloated meat puppets. We will have earned it.

Something is trying to tell the world, “You’re no more than children. And children often need to be reminded of the order of things.”

The view from 45,000 ft. is that of a world of primitive barbarians engaged in perpetual tribal warfare.

We need to adopt the same view from the ground… behave accordingly… and stop acting so fucking shocked and surprised.

Here’s your next blog entry.

And there you have it.

Easiest blog I’ve ever posted.

Then in a related story… There’s this

Woman calls for Race War at Scene of Church Shooting

Apparently this is the same woman that called Don Lemon an “Uncle Tom”.  Who says African Americans can’t be racists?

All I can say is this has either got to STOP… or BRING IT!  All the simmering hatred is like a festering pustule on the ass of the world, we either need to just pop it or heal it.

It doesn’t matter which direction we take, we can’t go on like this.

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All Hail the Death of Social Media (Thank God)

Myspace

Ok, perhaps I’m high, or simply well ahead of my time. I’ve had an on again, off again relationship with Social media.

Let’s look at this shall we?

Anyone remember Myspace? I actually had to go look it up, I couldn’t remember the name to save my life, and I had an account at one time. 

I had (Past Tense) a Facebook account. Haven’t missed it since I shut it down.

I’m on Twitter but the vitriol on Twitter is getting to the point that it’s not fun anymore.

LinkedIn is interesting, but even that site is becoming questionable. Really? Dick shots on my timeline? Uhh, suppose I’m looking for a job?

Thanks DUMBASS, I really appreciate your posting potentially offensive material on a professionally oriented website. Oh and by the way, I appreciate the morons that favorited said dick shot. You’ve propagated it across all your friends timelines too, well fucking done! To the owner of the dick… Umm there are some things no-one needs to see and your personal dick is, umm, one of those things. #uglydick #caring

MediaMonsters

I’ve never had instagram, vimeo, or any of the rest of the social media things.

I’ll personally be happy to see all these things relegated to the dustbin of computer history.  

You know, like the 36 PIN Centronics parallel printer cable?

These “social” sites and applications aren’t bringing us closer together they’re excuses to sit on our couches being hateful to each other.

Centronics Connector

Internet trolls multiply like antibiotic resistant Staphylococcus. I’m still unclear what the whole troll Raison d’être is.

I mean what’s the point of being inflammatory if you don’t even believe the shit you’re spewing? If it’s just about attention, then why do these “Trolls” immediately block someone that has an alternative opinion and the facts to back up what they say? 

internettroll

Even negative attention is attention. 

Why do the trolls even bother to seek out groups of people that they know will disagree with them, when they could just as easily hang out with a bunch of people that think exactly like they do? Wouldn’t they want to get positive reinforcement no matter how wacky their opinion is?

I’ve been thinking about it because I was noticing that I was using Twitter less and less.

When I do login my timeline is full of trolls duking it out with people who know their shit and yet… the battles go on and on. I can’t take more than about 10 minutes of it now.

I’m going to purge my timeline, my tweets, and thin out the folks I’m following. Maybe that will make the time line less vicious and more interesting. 

Perhaps I’ll ride Twitter into inevitable oblivion, maybe not, I’m still undecided.

Screen Shot 2015 06 17 at 7 48 41 PM

I have no clue what the future of social media holds, but I think it’s on it’s way out. 

More and more people are going to completely ephemeral communications. like instant messages that self destruct after they’re read.

It sounds mission impossible but I can see the point. There are still HR departments and bosses that want to know if you’ve got a social media account so they can monitor it.

I welcome the time when Facebook, Twitter, and all the other social media sites are considered “quaint” and outdated.

I wonder if I should be concerned about what will replace these quaint communication forms… 

God I hope it’s not going to be some tacky ass antenna sticking out of my skull! 

I stumbled across an article titled  Why Bloggers Are Calling it Quits a day or two after I wrote this blog piece. 

There’s a quote from Andrew Sullivan that sums it up very well:

I am saturated in digital life and I want to return to the actual world again. I’m a human being before I am a writer; and a writer before I am a blogger … I yearn for other, older forms. I want to read again, slowly, carefully. I want to absorb a difficult book and walk around in my own thoughts with it for a while. I want to have an idea and let it slowly take shape, rather than be instantly blogged. I want to write long essays that can answer more deeply and subtly the many questions that the Dish years have presented to me. I want to write a book.

The entire piece is worth a read.