Month: May 2015

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Hey Daesh You’re funny!

FBI

Last night I’m listening to the news and one of the national broadcasts says something like; the FBI acknowledges Daesh supporters are in the US.

Further, Daesh (ISIS) communications out of the middle east are calling for American Daesh members to either join Daesh in Syria or if they can’t get to Syria they’re to kill as many Americans as possible here in the States.

JapanWWII

It occurs to me that Daesh might want to talk to the Japanese about that course of action.

I suppose I could also make a case for them talking to the British too, but at the time of the revolution we weren’t quite a country. We were working on it and the British stood in the way.

Japan, on the other hand attacked us on our soil. While we’re good friends with Japan now… At the time we went crazy.

DaeshCharm

We put Japanese Americans in internment camps. Then we bombed the living shit out of Japanese bases throughout the Pacific, then we bombed the shit out of Japan’s industrial areas on the island of Japan. Our sanity ONLY returned after we dropped the second nuclear weapon on Japan. Even then, it took us a long ass time to simmer down.

We went a little nuts after 9/11 and we all know where that ended up.

So Daesh, you really want to rethink your strategy.

DeathValley

We can herd anyone who even smells like a Daesh supporter into an internment camp in a big expanse of our country that’s environmentally similar to your home countries.

This place is aptly named “Death Valley“…

On the plus side I grudgingly should thank you in advance. I suspect I won’t have time later, because I’ll be at the gun range.

punisher

The first time your rogue fifth column manages to kill anyone, the progressive left’s assault on our second amendment will effectively end. I imagine gun sales will punch to new all time highs and concealed carry permits will be available just for the asking. That is, IF permits are required AT ALL.

Daesh, here’s a little friendly advice.

Startingyoung

Don’t start a shooting war in the Southern United States. You’ll loose badly! I was target shooting with my Dad and Grandpa by the time I was five. Most of my friends are just like me, we all know how to shoot, hunt, and gut our kill. You really don’t want us to start hunting you!

Ya might also want to avoid causing a ruckus in Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia or the Dakotas. People in those states are generally nice, peaceful, church going, folks, but if you piss ‘em off… well you better hope you’re right with God because they’ll arrange a meeting for you.

If however, you really want to party… I’m absolutely sure that Americans will bring the party favors.

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Um… hey Banks, you need to work with default browsers

banklogos

Just got off the phone with one of the banks I do business with. Turns out the bank whose online banking used to work just fine with my Mac OS X supplied Safari, or the default Windows 7 browser Internet Explorer now is broken on both.

Say What?

The very nice gentleman suggested that I use FireFox or Chrome. Uhhh NO! 

I was nice about it, I told him that neither of these were viable options because of all the wonderful “Malware” these browsers ship with.

I have no need to have my system infested with tracking software, crappy antivirus solutions, new tool bars, switching my default search engine to AskJeeves, or any of the other shenanigans that these 3rd party solutions are often loaded with.

Oh I can say No to loading this crap, I can even remove it if one of these “solutions” sneaks past me. 

But I shouldn’t have to.

If your product is good and clearly a better solution than the default, then prove it to me and by that I mean make the product FOR SALE. If during a free trial I decide that your product is in fact better than the default, then I’ll pay for it and continue to enjoy an ad free existence.

Bundling your product with crap that installs all over my computer is not likely to endear you to me.

When I explained my reasoning, the 2nd level support guy was laughing. He understood exactly what I meant and was good with it. He reminded me that the IOS version of the bank’s software might provide me with the functionality I needed.

I hadn’t thought of that, so I thanked him and ended the call.

The thing that blows my mind, is that the bank rolled out customer facing software that didn’t work with the default web browsers supplied with the two leading computer operating systems.

Who’s brilliant decision was that? What kind of testing did they do, and what the HELL kind of Software QA department are these people running?

I guess it touches home for me since A) I’m pretty much a career Software QA guy, and B) I’m looking for a job in my field.

Clearly the bank needs my freaking services!

I can tell you that the version of software these guys rolled out would NEVER have seen the light of day on my watch.

You always start your testing with the DEFAULT browsers unless you specifically check the OS and browser versions and then politely inform the client, “We don’t work with your browser / OS combination.”

At least then you’re not annoying the hell out of your customers who are using the same computer, browser, OS, etc they used last week.  Only now, not only can’t they log on, your web site is actively telling them incorrectly that their password and user id is incorrect. “Was I hacked??” 

Folks, it’s time to clean house.

h-1b visa

Fire all the offshore QA companies and hire Americans.  You know, the folks you made homeless by importing H-1B visa holders, then forced to train the H-1B’s under threat of layoff,  which you did anyway. 

Oh and by the way corporate America most of us will work pretty darn cheap these days.

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God is Great… But apparently his “Warriors” leave much to be desired!

geertwilders

So did ya hear this one?

Two guys get all dressed up in body armor, with so called “Assault Rifles” (Probably some variant of an AR-15) go to Texas…

TEXAS!?!?!

…Hop out of their car at a cartoon conference and start shooting up the place. 

They’re taken out within 15 seconds by a traffic cop armed with a Glock .45.

One officer is slightly injured, treated and released.

PamelaGeller

It reads like a bad three stooges script. Kinda what happens when Curly and Schemp have contract issues.

TEXAS! ????

With the possible exceptions of a Neo-Nazi rave, or a KKK Rally, I couldn’t imagine a worse place to do what these two geniuses attempted.

Well the moron count for the weekend is -2 and the virgin ass count for the demonic goats of hell is +2.

ThreeStooges

Oh, didn’t you hear? Satan is far too busy to personally fuck every ISIS martyr, so the goats that these guys fucked in life, are now getting sweet revenge in Hell.

“Whos your Daaaaadddyy now? BITCH!”

The media is tying themselves up in knots trying to blame Pamela Geller for this “outrage.” I guess they’re pissed off that Geller planned for the possibility of violence and that the police did their job. Perhaps the police did their job too well, the media would probably be happier if there were a bunch of innocent folks dead inside the venue. 

deadjihadis

Two dead Jihadis on hard Texas pavement normally wouldn’t even cause my news radar to twitch, what caught my attention is the media attempting to blame the would-be victims.

You know, the innocent folks inside the building? The folks enjoying their first amendment right to free speech? If I have to listen to CAIR mouth off on the news about how abused they are, then they sure as hell can AVOID a place where a bunch of folks are looking at cartoons, or Art, or listening to an anti-islamic point of view.

Based on the islamic behavior we’ve seen in France, England, Germany, Italy, and other areas of Europe, I find myself asking if Pamela Geller and Geert Wilders are absolutely right in pointing out the elephant in the room.

Lookfamiliar

That’s going some distance for me. Not because i believe Geller and Wilders are wrong, but because Wilders creeps me the hell out.

Has anyone else noticed that he looks like one of the kids from Village of the Damned, only he’s all grown up? I keep expecting his eyes to start glowing.

As long as he’s on our side I guess it’s ok… Its still creepy.

Anyway, I’m sure the great state of Texas has told Pamela Geller’s organization “Y’all come back now, ya hear?”