Month: March 2015

Just heard about this one in my local area.

Middle schoolers in a suicide pact?  Where the hell does that come from?

Their lives are so tortured that before they can drive they’re trying to kill themselves?  

Don’t get me wrong I have no pity for them and almost wish they’d succeeded. Then they’d at least serve a purpose, kind of a signpost that says it’s not really all that bad.

It would give other parents the opportunity to say “Now girls, go plug yourselves into your ipods, do your homework, and we’ll call you when the pizza gets here to feed your fat asses”

I do pity their parents.

What must go through a parents mind upon learning their child was in an almost successful suicide pact? That must be horrible and then of course there’s the high probability that CPS is going to be all up their asses.

Add to that, the stress of paying the co-pay for hospitalization and on-going psychiatric care possibly lasting for years and in short order I could see the parents having all kinds of difficulties. I’m talking marriage ending kinds of problems. I can’t even imagine the weight of guilt these parents are laboring under.

But no one is ever going to talk about that… It’s going to be all about the reason behind why their little darling tried to kill themselves.

I sound harsh, I know. 

Heck, I grew up waiting for the damn A-Bomb to wipe us out. I had to do well in school because if I didn’t I’d be held back for as long as it took for me to pass or I dropped out, whichever came first.

I had the military crawling all over me wanting me to join up, see the world, serve my country.

You want pressure or stress?

Try being different WITHOUT any expectation of support, understanding,  or, for that matter without even knowing that there were others who felt just like you.

Bullying was the norm and you either toughened up or you spent your days crying.

I can remember being bullied for the color of my fucking hair. Yeah! My hair color got me taunted and on at least one occasion in a fight. When I was a kid I was a “Soulless Ginger” as Cartman says on SouthPark.

I toughened up, I learned to throw a punch, I became confident in myself and my abilities and created a niche where I was indispensable and thereby insured my safety.

I also learned that safety was transient and no-one is forever indispensable. Turns out, those were valuable lessons and they’ve served me well throughout my life.

There was one suicide in my High School. One that I’ve always felt I should have seen coming or could have, should have, prevented.  The young man was troubled and while I’m not sure, I suspect he might have realized he was gay.  

I’ll never know because he killed himself and the shame and stigma his family felt prevented our asking any questions about the period of time leading up to his suicide.

I know there was some legal trouble that originated with a false fire alarm, and that his father had something to do with the fire department. But I knew nothing at the time about his home life or indeed who he was as a person.

I knew him, I spoke to him but he was very closed off. I’m not even sure he was gay, I remember him being a “blank”, quiet in class, got good grades, but he didn’t participate in any of the stuff the rest of us guys were into.

I don’t think we were purposely ostracizing him, it was just that his name didn’t come up when we planned to skip school or something.

I’ve always felt bad about not really “seeing” him. I think if I had, I’d have seen perhaps a kindred spirit, or at least his pain.

Things are totally different now. 

Bullies don’t get their comeuppance in the form of a righteous pummeling. They can reach their victims with ease via our technology at all hours of the day and night.

“I’d rather be dead than red” echoed exactly once off the side of the junior high school as I was leaving for the day. If I pedaled faster down the street, the wind in my ears would drown out even the nastiest words spoken about my Mom’s marital status.

Yes… I was one of THOSE children, (queue sad dramatic music) I was from a broken home!

Little did I know, most of my friends, and the bullies were about to be similarly afflicted.

We grew up, we adapted and we didn’t kill ourselves… well with the one exception, generally we didn’t kill ourselves on purpose. There were some car accidents that resulted in deaths

My point is, what the hell is going on?

This world isn’t all that bad a place. Yeah it can be a pisser, and you might not get everything your way, but it’s not too shabby a place. 

I can tell you this for certain. (Most of the time… There are exceptions!) This world is a better place because you’re in it.

If there’s something that you don’t like or that bugs you, don’t kill yourself, fix it! Fix it for everyone that comes after you and contribute to the betterment of the planet.

That is of course if you have the capacity to get beyond your own selfishness.