I Hate Verizon, I Hate Verizon, I Hate Verizon!

I hate Verizon for ohhh so many things but today I especially hate them for the following. 

I’m paying for 3372 / 768 DSL I think that’s the right number combination. I’d look it up to be exactly spot on, BUT Verizon’s web page is behaving like I’m using a dial-up connection.

The speeds I’m getting on my DSL connection are varying from 1024 to 2112 / 500 to 860. (First number is download speed, the next number is upload speed)

As I said I’ve tried to access their web page to figure out if there is a way to report the problem without having to wait on hold for 45 minutes then speak to someone who sounds like an episode of SouthPark. You know the sounds… dirka dirka bla dirk neeig hhhaaa dis is johnny coon I dirka you?

Then be run though a series of dumb assed “TESTS” that prove nothing about the quality of their shitty service but everything about their condescension to their customers.

After all, what part of; “Your service was working this morning, then degraded, then quit, and my router is saying it can’t see a stable DSL connection. The router is indicating the failure by the display of RED indicators on it’s front panel and its control interface which I am looking at via my internal network, is saying that the DSL Carrier signal is dropping at .5 second intervals,” don’t these morons understand?

“Well sir your network cannot work unless you have your computer directly connected to our DSL machine.”

Really? then riddle me this… how am I supposed to print to a network printer?

“Sir, you would connect the printer to the computer.”

Then how would I be able to print a web page? The computer and the printer only have ONE ethernet port.

“I don’t know sir, I can’t advise you.”

BUT YOU JUST DID! You just told me to disconnect my DSL modem from my fully functional internal network and connect my computer directly to the DSL modem in order for your service to work. I’ll tell you what, let me speak to a supervisor.

“Certainly sir, one moment… “

I sigh in frustration, all I want to do is report that they’ve got a problem with DSL in the area.

Thinking about it this is exactly why I left Verizon Cellular. (I think) Aside from them overselling their network to the point that I couldn’t have a conversation along the 91 Freeway that didn’t drop the call every 30 seconds, I called them to report one of their cell towers had part of the antenna array hanging by its wires and blowing in the wind.

I knew it was their tower because Verizon Signs were all over the fence surrounding the base of the antenna mast.

But the idiot that answered the phone wanted to put me through a phone diagnostic instead of listening to what I was reporting; “Hey your have part of your antenna at this location swinging in the wind you might want to get a repair crew out here.”

After realizing I wasn’t getting anywhere I hung up I figured, “Fine, let 150,000 dollars worth of equipment crash to the ground from 80 feet up. Not my problem!” The moron called me back to complete the phone diagnostic.

Click, Click: “dirka dirka blingbla dirk neeig hhhaaa dis is Ronny coon I dirka you?”

ARRRRHHHHHGGGGGGGHH!

After 45 minutes, I suit up…

I’m gonna go collect me some Skulls!