Month: July 2013

Posted on

Back by popular demand!!!

I’ve been a little quieter than usual lately. 

I guess I’m mourning the B dog.

I just haven’t felt much like writing at all.

It’s been hot here even at night. So my sleep is restless too. The three things are inhibiting my creativity and sorta messing with my mojo.

My dream life has been pretty interesting though. 

I’ve dreamt of lizards, wolves, and scorpions. 

You don’t even want to know what the interpretations of those dream elements are.

Lead, change, and pain is the short version.

I’ve thought about writing on Trayvon.

But I’m thinking that anything I’d have to say would be at best redundant and at worst inflammatory.

Lets just say, I’m over people rending their clothing and describing Trayvon as a little saint. I’m sick of the media representation of Trayvon and Zimmerman. 

The protests and calls for justice are disingenuous at best considering that the Jury wasn’t presented with enough credible evidence to “Beyond a reasonable doubt” convict Zimmerman. The Beyond Reasonable Doubt phrase is really important. 

I’m as usual pissed off at Sharpton and Jackson because they’re continuing to play the victim card & the race card while at the same time black kids are being killed all over the country by other black kids.

Where is the outrage about that? 

Where is the outrage at violence done in the name of Trayvon against people who just happen to not be black? A better question is; Why is the media not reporting these acts of violence with the same breathless excitement?

Yeah these are the reasons I’ve given up most of the news.

I did find this little survey interesting

I had seen a lot of the information well before the Zimmerman trial. The information is well… in the age of Photoshop, can we really believe what we see?

 DSC 0456Then there’s this tragedy.

Yesterday we took the S dog out for a romp. First we went to Devils Punchbowl completely forgetting that by the time we got there it was really hot.

Too hot in fact for the S dog to walk on the paths for much more than 15 minutes. On the plus side he got a ton of loving from a school bus full of little girls I’m guessing none of them were older than 10 or 11.

They were fascinated with the S dog and kept commenting on how big he is. I kept thinking to myself they’d be blown away by a Weimaraner, Great Dane, Mastiff, or Sheepdog. 

The S dog is approachable and sweet, although he left a bit of drool on several of the girls. They didn’t seem to mind too much.

We were thinking about a cooler place to wander and perhaps let the S dog play in some water.

WDSC 0446ell, let me tell you something. The drought is bad!

There are creeks and small ponds/lakes that are supplied by water from the mountains. But the past few years there really hasn’t been that much rain or snow and the creeks and lakes are drying up.

Several of the first creeks that crossed our minds were little more than sticky muddy trails. The vegetation is withering or dying as well.

We finally headed to a creek that is beautiful, or was… It had also dried to a surprising degree.

That is a tragedy, but one that nature in time will correct. The greater tragedy is the trash.

This creek is a nice place and it used to be free & clean.

Folks would take their kids swimming on hot days and have nice picnics.

Problem is, that more and more folks who don’t respect the signs, or the environment, or that someone has to clean up their mess have pretty much trashed the place.

DSC 0451

You can see from the pictures it’s really bad. These folks have tagged rocks and trees and there’s strong evidence that they’ve even uprooted some of  trees by climbing on them then dragging them down.

The S Dog jumped in to the cool water and started making contented sounds.Eventually we found a place where the water was clean and the surrounding area was unspoiled.

DSC 0449All we had were small bags to pick up the S Dogs poo so it wasn’t left on any trail. Of those we were down to only two.I felt bad that we didn’t’ have any big garbage bags to clean up the mess.

By the time we go home we’d used all but one of the poo bags.

On the up side… the S dog will probably not make any work for me in the back yard for several days. (He felt he had to leave his marks and was seriously confused by us cleaning up his carefully placed marks!)

It’s this vandalism and trashy behavior that has made the Forestry service start charging via something called an Adventure Pass.

There is ongoing litigation about the validity of the adventure pass. I can actually see both sides of the issue. The hikers are correct in saying that the Forestry Service needs better funding. The Forestry Service is right and saying they need to supplement their budgets so they can provide services. 

The real problem isn’t the pass… it’s the people who are, frankly thoughtless pigs.

DSC 0462

I’d love to see arrests and jail time for people that leave trash behind.

I don’t give a shit if they’re poor, or immigrants. They can afford to buy the packaged crap they’re eating… they can damn well carry out the empty packages and trash.

It’s a $100 fine if you don’t have an adventure pass. Hell I’d love to see a $1000 dollar fine plus 60 days in jail if you’re caught trashing a place.

If someone is an illegal after they’ve paid their fine, and served their time I’d love to see their sorry ass deported back to their shithole country of origin.

DSC 0453

But then I’m draconian about that kind of thing.

Go on… Call me a racist! That is the “goto” defense when someone badmouths the poor undocumented workers isn’t it?

I get really pissed off when I take a side road instead of the freeway and am confronted with places where people have just dumped their trash because they didn’t want to pay the entrance fee to a county landfill.

My home, my country isn’t supposed to look like Tijuana.

I was thinking about making time when the S dog & I could go back to this area and he could play in the water & I could pick up the trash.

I swear with the tagging… I’d love to see the tagger in chains scrubbing the rocks with a toothbrush and their spit for solvent.

What on earth possesses someone to do that? They go to a natural place that’s unspoiled and beautiful… then they spoil it!

What the hell?

Then there’s the crazy person running around Washington… No not the politicians… the one with the green paint.

Another case of someone who should be in a bright orange jumpsuit chained to a monument with a toothbrush cleaning up their mess.

I guess this time it’s a crazy homeless Chinese person on an expired visa. Why is it that we don’t send ICE agents to someones hotel, apartment, boarding house or what have you to escort folks with expired visas to the nearest Airport?

There are countries that insist you have a return plane ticket before you’re allowed to enter their country. Why don’t we have a similar policy?

Now this crazy person will cost us court time, psychiatric time, and will never have to earn the cash to pay reparations for her crimes.

I fear that her actions will cause We The People will have to go through checkpoints and fences and metal detectors and that yet another part of our cultural heritage will be compromised.

To me, part of the beauty of Washington DC is that there were no fences the last time I was there.

You could walk on the grass next to the reflecting pond. You could walk unencumbered up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, you could lean against the Washington monument and wander at your leisure inside the Jefferson memorial.

I was in awe of the Lincoln Memorial and spent a good amount of time contemplating the words, their meaning, and the greatness of President Lincoln. 

The only disappointment was that the White House had been fenced off and looked a bit more like a prison than the house provided for the President of the country. I know it is necessary but I still think it’s sad.

Wheee!

I get to renew my car registration today!!! Oh Joy!

I can be ripped off by California once again. This year to the tune of over $300 to pay for my road use. This amount apparently isn’t used to actually maintain the roads but does get spent by California in ever so many useful ways.

Gun control laws and ordinances. feeding the poor, providing health care for undocumented workers, etc. etc. etc.

And did I mention that I’m not employed at the moment? How am I paying for this since I’m out of unemployment benefits? Take a guess… go on I dare you!

Give up? I’m paying for this out of my savings. Yep, I need to pay this bill like I need a Clorox enema! But I need a legal car on the road too if I’m going to go to interviews and try to actually find work. Did you know that some gated / secured facilities won’t let you in the gate if your registration isn’t current? After all if you haven’t paid your registration… have you paid your insurance? 

I wouldn’t mind if the roads here in California were maintained, smooth, clean and nice. But I’ve had wheels cracked due to faulty maintenance at $800.00 a crack having to pay over $300 to register a vehicle is adding insult to injury.

OK enough randomness for today.

I’ve got to get something done.

Posted on

Restless…

My eyes open. Something has disturbed my sleep, I listen for any strange sound.

Crickets and wind.

The house is illuminated enough for me to see clearly. Tell tales and indicator lights on every single piece of electronics combine to create a kaleidoscope of light. 

The green indicator on the smoke detector on the ceiling winks red briefly. This potentially signals dust in the unit or time to replace the battery, I’ll have to service the unit tomorrow… today.

DSC0023

The intense red light on the bedroom TV tells me that the unit is off but has power from the wall. I wonder if I can turn that light off then worry about the TV having wall power if it doesn’t come on when I press the switch.

I’m informed by the bedside clock, that it’s 2am in full color and that the unit had been able to sync to the atomic time beacon. The clocks EL panel flares brightly as it comes back on. During the sync, the panel is turned off so that the clock can “hear” the beacon better.

I get out of bed, I need some water. 

Green light from the hall smoke detector paints a circle on the floor lighting my way to the kitchen.

The kitchen is illuminated by the clocks in the stove and the microwave. Further illumination is provided by the EL panel in the alarm system keypad.

Yet more light spills from the living room, a byproduct of a digital picture frame. I get a glass, as I press the glass against the water dispenser in the door of the fridge, bright white LEDs flare to life blinding me momentarily.

Impulsively I switch off the digital picture frame… it’s ever changing images are annoying out of the corner of my eye.

The darkness advances a little bit but is beaten back by the clock in the cable box, the backlight of the thermostat, and light from the appliances in the kitchen.

I move through the living room drinking my water. From the slider I can see the towns on the desert floor their lights twinkling in the distance.

I grouchily consider replacing the LEDs throughout the house with simple diodes. If something doesn’t work then I’ll investigate why.

Naked6

Why are we so afraid of the dark? Why can’t we turn off the lights on our ever so helpful equipment?

Maybe it’s just me… I’ve always had great night vision, maybe all these indicators and tell tales aren’t annoying to most other folks.

Then, I notice the moonlight. The cloud cover has broken, moonlight is bright in the yard. I step onto the deck. No one can see me, looking to the East over the roof I can see the moon is almost full.

It somehow feels right to be in the moonlight. I can see clearly and while I’m a little chilly It’s nice to have a moment of freedom.

Still don’t know what woke me up. 

I finish my water, look around for a little while longer, then head back inside.

My head hits the pillow, and I sleep soundly till sunrise.

Posted on

It’s been a rough week, The eldest dog died.

IMG 0091

As I mentioned elsewhere, I’ve been dealing with a very sick dog.

Thursday night the poor guy started regular seizures about every 3 to 4 hours. With each seizure he got weaker, and lost more control over his legs and body, in the end he was completely blind. 

Whatever was going on was major. Just as we panic when our bodies betray us, so do dogs.

In the end he was panicked so much that we couldn’t get him to calm down before the next seizure hit. 

The other dog was frightened too. His health is good but he knew something was seriously wrong with his buddy.

Friday morning the seizures were coming faster and we knew it was the end, and time to let him go. 

The vet did a quick exam to see if there was anything to be done aside from euthanasia.

The opinion of the Vet and the Technician who’ve know the dogs all their lives was it was time. All that could be done, had been done and while the dog was between seizures and relatively calm & comfortable it was best to do him a mercy.

So my family is down to three.

I’ve been spending a lot of time on the floor and setting aside whatever I’m doing to reassure and comfort the remaining dog.

They escaped an abusive household together 9 years ago. They wouldn’t be separated at the animal shelter (They’d both stop eating) We adopted them both, and never separated them.

I’ve been watching carefully to make sure that S. (I’m not using his full name. I’d prefer he barked at you if he doesn’t know you) is eating properly and not getting too depressed.

He is boycotting all the dog cushions. I think it’s because we were having to rotate the cushions and their covers after each seizure and “His” cushion got used repeatedly by our sick guy.

Hopefully that will pass & he’ll decide it’s ok to use the soft cushions instead of the floor. 

He doesn’t seem to be looking for his buddy per se, but he’s acting a little lonely. 

IMG 0096

I scheduled a quick grooming for him Friday afternoon, (He really likes the groomer) that took his mind off all that had been going on Thursday evening & Friday morning.

When we got home, he was confused at the absence of his friend. Eventually he laid down on a cool spot and got some deep restful sleep. 

Eventually, I laid down on the bed, within a few minutes I was being nuzzled then there was a big sigh as he snuggled next to my chest. He’s always done this when he’s upset, sick, or hurt. We slept like that for about 3 hours.

Several years ago after the fire here at the house, these two dogs pulled us through some really dark and tough times. 

One of the things that they helped us with was priorities. Or responsibilities to them always came first. In return, they gave us boundless love and attention. Sometimes it was as simple as nuzzling a foot, or leaping on the bed in the morning with a toy that got dropped on my head. Their needs focused our attention on what was important.

All the rest of it was just noise.

I find myself in that same space. S. needs attention and concern. We’ve been walking in the mornings during the past couple of weeks (we used to walk in the afternoons with his buddy.) He’s enjoying the exercise, as am I. 

Over the past weeks he’d accepted that his buddy couldn’t be with us on these outings.

He forgot this morning that B. wasn’t here at all and went looking for him in the yard and all the rooms of the house. You could almost see the realization as S. couldn’t find B.

S. had gotten in the habit of coming back from a walk and then telling B. all about it.

It was one of those ‘gotcha’ moments that bring a tear to your eye. 

I just cuddled S. and told him it was OK, He’s a good boy.

The telltale to his being upset and depressed, was that he didn’t want his after walk treat.

We’ll all get through this it’s just going to take time.

B., you were a great dog, I miss you.(Yes, even your snoring like a freight train.) I pray that you’re playing with other dogs somewhere in a sunlit grassy field. 

Here are a couple of PDFs friends have sent with loving, comforting, emails. B. was a sweet dog and even those who were afraid of larger dogs loved him.

Pet Death.pdf

Rainbow Bridge.pdf