Lights come on in the hallway.
Who? What?
“What’s going on?” I call out in the general direction of the lights.
No Answer.
Dimly aware of one of the dogs standing on the bed near the foot.
Funny smell, can’t place it, wondering if I’ve got a sinus infection, smells kind of like that.
Briefly i consider the Gothic wonder I’m in for later this morning when I blow my nose.
Dog gone from foot of bed. I hear alarm being disarmed, sliding door opens.
Partner comes into room turn on light low (that was nice).
“What’s up?“
By way of reply, “Damn, Dog vomited on the comforter and foot of the bed.“
… …
I’m awake now!
Yep, one of the dogs has been well… sick as a dog.
What a lovely mess…
Partner tromps downstairs to garage for paper towels. I sit on edge of bed shaking the rest of my weird nightmares away to be replaced with this mornings disaster.
Tromping comes back up stairs. I pull shorts on.
I watch as paper towel disintegrates turning an unpleasant greenish yellow mess into an even less appealing greenish yellow pulpy mess with happy printed flowers. I watch as partner chases vomit down the inside of the footboard past the protective barrier of the comforter.
RIGHT! Time to act.
“Stop“, “MOVE!“
I grab a handful of small cheap cotton towels from the linen closet. These towels are handy for quick cleanups of anything but are usually used to clean up the aftermath of sex or masturbation.
The first one I use to come up under the fibrous wad of grass, bile, and the previously shredded paper towel in an attempt to prevent the mess from coming into contact with & permanently staining the mattress.
Mission accomplished! Mattress and foundation unscathed! I wad dirty towel up and toss it on another one I’ve opened up on the floor.
Next step. “Grab the comforter, we need to get it off the bed before we end up having to wash the sheets, and the mattress pad”
Step completed partially successfully. The sheets and therefore the mattress pad will have to be washed. However the comforter is off the bed.
I’m working to get the comforter cover off the comforter when I look up and see partner standing with bottle of Shout! at the ready.
Suppressing my first reaction (which by the way was to Shout!) I suggest that it might be more helpful if I was assisted in removing the comforter cover which due to it’s size is rather like trying to remove a used condom from a raging Rhino without spilling the contents
Cover removed, using Shout! is now a reasonable course of action.
Cover in washer, 1:45 of partner fiddling with the four or five controls on washer most of which are PRESET by the use of the main control knob and cannot be changed. Finally partner presses Start button, the washer comes to life.
Comforter is still sitting in middle of hallway, now folded over with wet/stained spot in contact with dry / non-stained part. I’ve been waiting for some assistance in getting the comforter squared away so that the stain and liquid don’t end up on the floor making a bigger mess to clean up… for the past 2 minutes…
I’m beginning to get annoyed but realize that partner is probably not fully awake and certainly doesn’t think the same way I do. 25 years later and it still chaps my hide, ain’t gonna change and the annoyance is my problem. GRRRRRR!
Comforter secured.
I go back to the bedroom and the stack of cheap towels, wet one down with warm water and I start cleaning the remaining puke off the footboard.
Humm, not too bad. The finish is undamaged.
Come back into hallway with now wet / dirty towels and notice partner has stepped in sick, and has been tracking it all over the rest of the house!
Jaw clenches involuntarily.
“Umm, take off your shoes.”
Partner keeps walking around.
“STOP! Take off your shoes! You’ve stepped in puke and have now succeeded in tracking it all over the house!“
Partner ” Oh… Wonder how that happened?”, continuing to walk into kitchen.
GRRRRRR!
I’m not going to blow my stack, I’m going to remain calm.
I’m also going to get to scrub all the floors in the house and then get to my self assigned task of re-grouting around several tiles in the hallway.
Oh wait… I can’t do that today, because with laundry being run the grout wouldn’t be able to set up undisturbed.
Re-grouting must wait.
Rest of my day shot to hell. On the plus side, Partner realizes that the comforter will not fit in the washer. Upon realization volunteers to take comforter to laundromat great!
Day is looking up! I don’t have to deal with people.
Vomit I can handle. Dog has tummy ache & can’t help it. I’m cool with that.
I can remain calm in the face of someone who doesn’t think, reason, or plan like me. Or someone who can’t process cause / effect information.
I can avoid shouting about someone that’s oblivious to their actions
But combine them all before 5AM and well I need a wide open place to vent my frustration. Ain’t gonna happen today!
I can’t leave the house… Hows that supply of towels?