Tuesday Morning Follies

Cold wet dog nose poking into my left butt cheek.

I roll over and try to ignore it, Dog sniffs my naughty bits, I’m more conscious, but still mostly asleep…  something in my brain triggers a sub process.

Dog doesn’t bug me while I’m sleeping unless … Unless what…. UNLESS HE’S SICK!!!!

I toss the rest of the sheets off and leap out of bed.

I’m still on auto pilot, brain not spun up to full function. Dog panting and trotting down the hall ahead of me. We make it to the living room, I grab the slider pop the lock and yank it open.

There’s one tiny issue I’ve forgotten. As the door slides open, I realize my mistake, but it’s too late.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP 

The alarm system is screaming. and every other electronic device in the house capable of receiving mail, text messages, or phone calls is chirping, ringing, or vibrating.

In the sudden cacophony the dog stops in his tracks, completely forgetting that he’s not feeling well.

Emergency Protocol — Tech Interface – ONLINE 

Technological part of brain now fully functional… 

I tear around the living room furniture aka toe breaking obstacles, to the alarm control panel.

I punch in the disarm code. Panel stops beeping, reports disarmed…

I check the nearest electronic device. 

The message that says I’ve gotten to the panel quick enough and that I won’t be hauled out onto the lawn naked at gunpoint.

Briefly I think I should pull some sweats on if the cops do show up. Then the message comes in. 

Dog curiously looking at me.

Innocent face, “Dad, why are you being so weird this morning?“

“Go outside”, I tell him… I head to kitchen. Push button on coffee maker, head to bathroom relieve myself, grab shorts head back to kitchen.

Ahhhh Coffee!

Dog wants morning treat, and to play. Seems to think this new game is a lot of fun.

Sometimes… Dog is a real bastard!