I never thought I’d do this…

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I was having a massage a while back.

It was a very nice massage and I was warm, comfortable and nicely relaxed. These things are after all what you want as the outcome of a massage, right?

The masseur was working on my chest and then moved South. I sighed contentedly. Further South then a nice long sweeping motion over my hip bones and down onto my thighs. Nice!!!

The focus shifted to my shins and relaxing those nasty little tight muscles that lie right along the shinbone. I’ve been doing a lot of walking lately, I was blissed out.

The focus moved to the other leg and I was starting to drift to sleep. Another long sweep up my legs and both hands begin a nice massaging motion on my junk.

Whoa. 

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Not what I’d expected. The masseur was good looking and also naked.

When I’m getting a massage I prefer that both of us be naked. It’s just a lot less annoying than the rustling sound of fabric or the weird tickling effect of the hem of a shirt or shorts drifting across me. I hate that whole draping thing too, It’s pointless and distracting. Every time the drape has to be moved, it grounds me back in my body and interferes with my relaxation. After all I’m paying for a massage… it’s supposed to be all about me!!!

Having someone massaging my junk is also… well… nice yes, but distracting too.

What happened next I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams.

I said, “That’s not necessary, but thank you.”

SCREEEEECH!!!! Say What!?!?!

My brain and body Both looked (Metaphorically) at my mind like Who the hell are you? Where is the pig that’s supposed to be calling the shots?

Don’t get me wrong, It felt great.

But if I’m going to have sex, I want it to be about having sex, not that the other person feels they’re obligated. 

I’d have enjoyed having real sex with this masseur.

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I think we’d have had a rocking good time but a hand job… on the clock… that’s not really all that relaxing or exciting.

Maybe I’m jaded, maybe I’m afraid that I’m not going to measure up? (Just how many other hand jobs have been performed today?) Maybe I’ve just been there done that, once too often.

I’ve gotten to the age where hurried sex with someone I don’t know isn’t something I particularly enjoy.

Now a room full of people… that’s a little different and seriously hot!  Uhhh excuse me….

Ok I’m back where was I? Oh yeah hurried sex with a stranger… 

Weird huh?

That’s not to say that I would turn down a frenzied blowjob from a friend in an odd place. But in general I want to get there slowly and enjoy the journey.

Today, I was reading the blog a buddy of mine writes and was intrigued to see that he’d written something very similar. Coincidentally we’re both the same age and have been around the block a few times. He wrote what I’ve only been thinking about. 

Maybe this is a function of aging. I’ve become more discerning and picky in recent years. Perhaps we all just get to the point that who we’re getting naked with is more important than being naked with someone trying to get our rocks off.

Maybe I’m getting less inhibited about actually saying what I want or don’t want.

God helps us all if that’s the case.

Weird Dream

I often remember snippets of my dreams, but occasionally I remember big chunks of them and baby i have a NewImagereally strange dream world.

The dream in question this time is I’m in a nifty little house and all is right with the world. The house is small and efficient and there’s not a lot of space.

My stuff is where it should be and I’m whistling a tune as I’m cleaning this little place. (That’s how I know I was dreaming I can’t whistle to save my life!)

So I’m dusting or wiping down something and I open a door to wipe down the doorjamb (another sure clue I’m dreaming, nobody does that… Well I can think of one person who might. I’ll ask the next time I talk to him.

Anyhoo,

The door opens and I glance into the space beyond. I really don’t pay it any mind but as I’m cleaning I see a beam of sunlight coming through a skylight illuminating a beautiful space with a large stone fireplace.

I think “oh crap I’m going to be cleaning all day”

Then I pass through the door of my little efficient space into this grand space. The place is decorated exactly in the style I prefer. As I move from room to room I realize how truly big the place is. Each room is appointed exactly  in my taste.

The place is strangely familiar but a little uncomfortable, it’s that feeling that you get when you’re in someone NewImageelse’s home when you’re house-sitting.

This place though seems much more familiar. It’s like finding something half forgotten from your childhood in a random box. You’re connected to the object and holding it unlocks tons of memories. 

As I move from room to room I suddenly realize that this grand house is mine, but that for some reason not only am I living in a fraction of the available space, but I’m choosing to live in the smaller place.

All I need is a lizard with a tattoo wandering through the place and my dream scape would be complete.

I miss the good old days when I had nothing to worry about except dreams of space battles and alien species NewImageannoying me. 

At least those dreams made some kind of sense!

Well ain’t that a kick in the pants?

Was looking through the blog yesterday, I knew I’d written a piece about sex toys a while back.

As I was looking for the piece I kept coming across missing images. At first I thought something really bad had happened.

Well, in a way that’s true. 

The bad thing happening was me!

When I moved the blog from blogger to my own domain I used this nifty utility to do the move.

What I didn’t realize was that only the text was moved. The images remained where they were stored on blogger. 

The utility just reconfigured the links so that they pointed to the correct location.

A few weeks ago I was cleaning out old accounts and part of that cleanup was deletion of the redundant blogposts on blogger. And what I thought were redundant photos in several directories.

OOOPPPPS!

As I was merrily deleting away, I was also deleting the images from both blogs. I don’t know if I have a backup or not that will put everything back in the correct places. If I don’t c’est la vié.

Looks like I have a backup of the text, but not the photos.

Oh well live and learn.

If I can come up with some clever way to locate the photos and put them back I will, otherwise you’ll just have to use your imagination.