I guess it’s just my lot in life…

As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I’ve been a technology guy for almost 30 years.

Now I’m unemployed and have been looking for a new job for the better part of 18 months.

Usually I can’t get the time of day from the places that I apply to. Those placement firms that do contact me are often not much more that one step above spammers.

Got a call from one of these guys the other day, He was obviously Indian and his English pronunciation was so poor that I had no idea what he was saying. I finally got him to send me an email with the job description. His written English was only marginally better, which explains why he was trying to match me up with a position that was almost completely NOT anything I can do.

I find myself wondering things like why can’t I get any decent leads.

I’m still working on that one… but I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not paying back some seriously big karmic debt.

Many of the companies that I’ve applied to, I also do occasional business with. This morning I was looking around online for a decent six or seven port USB Hub. 

As I wandered through the myriad websites I kept seeing one defect after another.

These are major, nationally known companies who advertise and sell their products on the web and yet I was seeing things like;

Dead links,

Typos,

Dialog boxes that were blank, (I mean… just a white box with nothing in it.)

Check boxes that appear unchecked yet if you do check them, to narrow your search you actually destroy your search results.

Oh, and these companies… all have either flat out told me that I wasn’t good enough to work for them, or they simply have never responded to my inquiries.

While I many not be good enough to work for them, clearly their existing staff sucks!

Part of the problem is this. 

Feseminar

All of these companies want someone that has long list of software development methodology certifications. To date I’ve worked with virtually every methodology.

However, I’ve never bothered to get certified in any of them, for the following reasons;

1) The certifications are very expensive and often required me to burn my vacation time and pay for the seminar and the hotel & food costs. Often as not just sitting through the seminar got you the certification.

I don’t believe in buying certifications. If that’s what I’m doing… then let me send you the $1000 and you send me the paper with my little name printed on it, and we’re done.  

I think that there should be something a little more structured and some accountability or grading must be built into the system.

Then there’s this thought… I have one miserable week of vacation. Do I spend it at an expensive seminar in a hotel conference room or do I spend that week on a beach somewhere? Let’s think about this for all of a nano-second! If I’m going to spend my vacation time and have to pay for a hotel and transportation… I’m going diving in the Caribbean!

2)  These methodologies are ever changing and in fact I’ve worked for companies where the methodology changed as frequently as the upper management did. It was simply impossible to keep up with the method du jour and as a result, the certifications were pretty much pointless.

3) These methodologies claim in some circles to be a standard. But in point of fact they are really only the framework of a software development philosophy that allows for variable implementation based on the needs, desires, and whims of the corporation where the method is being used. 

The practical upshot of this is that a new employee starts out having to learn how the company has implemented a particular methodology whether they’ve got the certifications or not.

4) I have noticed through the years that regardless of the published “Methodology”, corporate “Procedures”, or even ISO standards all go right out the window when the project is late,  (Every Software Project ends up being LATE). Which means that Agile is pretty much the defacto standard of ALL software development regardless of the corporate sales pitch.

5) I’ve actually been involved in companies where the process was so complex that it actually impeded the development and testing processes. In these companies, I only got 3 hours of work done on software I was testing per day. The other 5 or 6 hours of my day were spent in meetings, explaining what testing was being done and WHY the testing was going so slowly

REALLY?

In point of fact it wasn’t the methodology, it was the implementation.

I’ve always thought it was funny how almost anything begins to take on the worst aspects of religion. Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Agile,SCRUM, PC vs. Mac, iPhone vs. Android…

None of them are inherently bad ideas or philosophies but all of them suffer from problems introduced by zealots.

I guess now it’s time for me to pay for some stupid seminar where the badge of honor is that I have a certificate saying I sat through the seminar.

At least I could legitimately say I’m certified in one of these things…  That 30 years of experience is irrelevant but a silly certification in a software development methodology is annoys me beyond belief.

4246303 683742 cocktail a mix of various drinks sometimes alcoholic drinks

I could take my laptop and spend the time writing and half listening. God! The soul crushing boredom  of seminars like this makes me cringe. When I’ve attended these kinds of seminars in the past,  at the end of the day I headed straight for the hotel bar and worked on anesthetizing myself… All the while having to listen to other folks from the seminar gushing about the importance of the words of the presenter… aka The Prophet. 

Meanwhile, I’m looking for the nearest exit and wondering if I can find another convenient bar where I don’t have to listen to a rehash of the day faithfully regurgitated by those who’ve drunk the kool aid.

I suppose it’s jaded cynicism on my part. A large part of my inherent resistance comes from knowing these methods, don’t make me a better tester. It just means that I’m going to be better able to recognize when someone is wasting time in needless meetings.

Which leads me back to Karma…

Am I now paying the price for not drinking the kool aid? Are the errors I’m seeing on web sites the not so subtle reminders that my choice not to play the latest corporate mental masturbation game has left me on the outside?

I still stand 100% by my conviction that as a Software Quality Assurance Analyst, knowledge or lack thereof about these philosophies won’t change the quality of the software.

Actually testing the software will. 

My Karma is to be unable to ignore software defects, and to seemingly bring out defects simply by wanting to use software as a normal user. 

I guess, I was a serious asshole to someone in a previous life. 

Now where was that catalog of obscenely priced seminars????

I was planning to send a blog earlier today

OOOPPPPS!

I was thinking about the blogs,  then I was kind of random, then I started to write something and instead upgraded to a new dive log program. Such has been my day.

I’m waiting for the swelling of my toe to go down. 

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Yesterday I smacked my big toe on the stairs and thought I’d just ripped the nail off. This morning the blood was a lot easier to clean up and of course my eyes weren’t watering either.

The damage isn’t nearly as bad as it looked last night.

But there’s pain/stiffness in the joint and a little swelling. So I’m taking it easy today.

I don’t think I broke anything but I damn sure smacked the hell out of it. 

It’s a wonder I didn’t fall the whole way back down the stairway. I think I damaged my wrist too as I caught myself. My right hand and wrist are puffy… Uh oh! I guess I’m going to be cheating and using my left hand tonight! 

The foot doesn’t hurt too much unless I move too fast or twist when I’m walking. Right now it’s just a dull ache as long as I don’t walk around too much.

I will say this… if anyone ever tries to do a murder investigation around this house they’re going to find my blood all over the place… Lately it seems I can’t do anything around here without drawing blood.

I guess I won’t be dancing over the next couple of days.

Maybe I’ll just put the drill and hammer down until there’s someone around who can call 911 if I do something really stupid!

Nahhh I gotta get some stuff finished before the weekend. 

 

Why excessive regulation is a bad thing.

We’ve all experienced them one way or another.

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Regulations

You know those natty little issues that prevent you for pursuing happiness YOUR WAY.

Obviously, some regulations are good. I personally think it’s a great thing that in general folks aren’t allowed to store their excrement in a big pile in the back yard.

In this extreme example, it really is about public health and safety.

But what happens when the regulations become so all encompassing and pervasive that they retard innovation and growth?

Then you have California…

…where the light at the end of the tunnel is actually an oncoming train of smothering laws… all implemented “For the public good“.

Here are some short examples of regulation gone wild.

Gas Prices

California gas prices recently made national news because they were the highest in the nation. Heck they even beat Hawaii!

How is that possible? Hawaii is an island in the middle of the Pacific and has to import everything by ship. WTF?

Well the simplest answer is that California has regulations that make it different from all the other states in the country. California is not unique in this, there are a number of states that have “Boutique” gas blends they’re also in as risky a position as California.

California gas is “special” due to AQMD regulations, EPA, and no doubt tons of extraneous laws that help to drive the legal system. For the sake of  argument California Gas is refined only in California therefore making it sole sourced.

That’s the problem with insisting on being different and then tying your wagon to a single source of anything. I’d bet that since the auto industry has pretty much standardized on emission control devices… these “boutique blends” are relics of a time long past and no longer necessary.

VOCs (Volatile Organic Compounds)

Have you tried to find a small mom & pop independent auto body shop lately? Guess what? There are a lot fewer of them in California than there once were. Why? because regulations came into effect that forced these folk to either work with paints that are a lot more delicate and far more difficult to apply or get out of the body shop business.

I wonder, how many small independent shops have closed since the VOC regulations took effect? How many people ended up unemployed? How many people took their businesses and tax revenue out of the state?

This affects everyone here in California, because excessive regulation has limited competition. A door scrape that used to cost $125 to fix, now costs $550. Why?

Because in addition to there being less competition you now have to sand and repaint the ENTIRE Door, not just the area surrounding the scrape.

It seems you can’t mix water based paints with oil based paints (No Shit Sherlock) and since many auto manufacturers are still using oil based paints to initially paint their vehicles YOU,  the consumer get stuck with higher repair bills. That translates to higher insurance costs too.

Independent Offset Printers, have exactly the same problem. There was an article in the Orange County register that discussed a business owner who moved to Nevada. He was able to assist his employees in the move, and was also able to provide them with fully paid healthcare due to savings he realized once he was out of California. By the way… The business owner was still able to make a profit because is was after all an evil capitalistic pig.

The funniest part of it was that his company had switched over to inks that were water based and he only very rarely used anything with any kind of VOC.

Like most of us would, when the quality of water based inks was equal to the older VOC based inks he switched.

It was better for him, his employees, his equipment, and made for a more pleasant working environment. 

However,  because he was an offset printer in California he still had to pay all the fees as if he was using the older inks.

Even if he never used anything containing a VOC again and turned away some jobs, His designation as an Offset Printer demanded that he paid for the privilege of running his business.

Essentially, this small business owner was regulated right out of the state.

Building Codes

I’ve touched on building codes several times in this blog. I agree fundamentally that a certain level of building regulation is a good thing. After all you do want your house falling apart in a few years?

OH Wait… My house IS falling apart after just a few years… and it passed all the inspections. 

Honestly, I’d have rather had the building code less concerned with how many damn lights were in the ceiling and MORE concerned with the materials in the house and the way those materials were being used. That’s another story entirely, so I’m not going into it here.

Just as an aside… If you’re looking at buying a house in California, buy something that’s older. The quality is going to be better and you’ll get to duck a lot of the stupid regulations unless of course you decide to remodel. Word to the wise… DON’T REMODEL.

My original house built in 1992 was far superior to my rebuilt house built in 2009. I’m reminded of that each and every Winter as I freeze my ass off.

Automobiles

This is one of those things that I simply can’t wrap my head around.

California has different regulations for cars. There are bolt on improvements today, that can make your car run more efficiently. I’m not talking about some lame ass “As seen on TV” hunk of junk. I’m talking about manufacturer approved modifications.

Take my car for example… I could change the air intakes, add a larger oil cooler, change the exhaust (Keeping the catalytic converter mind you) and increase my horsepower by 10HP. That translates to the engine running more efficiently and increases my MPG by a minimum of 2 MPG, estimates are it would be closer to 5MPG. That’s not even changing the computer programs that control the engine.

All of those modifications are illegal in California

Why? Because the California regulators haven’t been paid to test and approve these modifications and therefore these modifications are by definition bad.

I’d push my base EPA milage to 30MPG, Save money, the environment, and use less fuel. How the hell is that BAD?

I could go get these improvements in neighboring states. But then I’d risk the possibility that when I needed to get smog certificates and other California regulatory inspections I’d have to put everything back to “Factory” (read California inefficiency) specifications.

It’s probably easier to just move to a state that doesn’t have the same restrictive regulations.

Apparently the SmartCar gets something close to 100MPG in Europe.

Here in the United States, it gets a paltry 38MPG Why is that???

Regulations! In this case it’s probably something to do with protectionism of the American auto industry. But that kind of regulation flies directly in the face of good ‘ol capitalism.

Isn’t it supposed to be that the guy who builds a better mouse trap gets more business? And by building the better mouse trap, the guys competition begins to innovate and in their turn build an even better mousetrap?

In the age of over regulation that doesn’t happen. If your’e in a protectionist market why compete or innovate?

Then you have Proposition 39

The California legislature has realized that businesses are in fact leaving, and putting their manufacturing in other states. The California Lawmakers in a tacit acknowledgement of this fact have decided to add yet more regulation to the companies who have already moved the majority of their businesses out of the state.

I can’t seem to locate the actual text of proposition 39. Here is the closest link I could find.

This proposition is about imposing taxes on companies for the privilege of having any of their corporation based in California.

WTF???

I can pretty much guarantee that companies affected by this proposition if it’s approved, will move the rest of their corporate holdings out of the state and with them go untold numbers of jobs.

This is how a regulatory mentality destroys an economy. The people making the regulations just don’t get cause and effect.

As I’ve watched California over the past 30 years, there has been a definite trend towards a more controlling state government.

I find now that I can’t really blame businesses for leaving places that are excessively regulated, highly taxed, and whose infrastructure is crumbling.

Proposition 39 is a prime example of what’s wrong with our state and what may be wrong on a broader national basis.

Instead of reviewing the underlying reasoning behind why corporations chose to shutter their operations here  and then addressing those factors. Our politicians are saying they’re going to “Close the tax loopholes” (Crapspeak) and impose taxes on corporations that still maintain a presence in California.

I think I see myself moving out of California in the very near future.

Hey, you have to go where the jobs are…