A Friend sent me a list of these. I thought it would be fun to share them
Paraprosdokians are phrases or sentences that lead us down the garden path to an unexpected ending.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
This has to be a major WTF???
I heard of an instance a couple of months ago where a brave young life guard was fired from his lifeguard job because he saved someone that was drowning.
The problem is… The drowning person was beyond the area the young lifeguard was supposed to be tending to.
This occurred in Hallandale Beach FL, and the young heroes name is Thomas Lopez
So the message is Save a life, as you’ve been trained to… BUT ONLY in your area!
I suppose that if during the save, the lifeguard and the drowning victim had drifted out of bounds that young Mr. Lopez was supposed to let go of the victim, commending his soul to Poseidon’s mercy.
What the hell is wrong with our society you may ask… Well here is one example of litigation and liability taken to it’s insanely logical conclusion.
I just heard of another instance where someone saving a life was penalized for their trouble.
In this case it was a young man In Oregon. Seventeen year old off duty lifeguard John Clark jumped into rough surf to save a 12 year old that was being swept out to sea.
How did the ambulance company hospitals and doctors tell him he’d done the right thing? They sent him a bill for nearly $2600
When Johns story appeared on the local news the good people in his local area began donating to cover the bill. You see, Johns family doesn’t have health insurance or the cash to cover the cost.
Johns bill will be paid I’m sure of that, any extra cash from the donations, John is putting into a college fund or donating to help cover the medical bills of the victim, because he’s a good kid.
It’s exactly this kind of selfless people we need more of in our society. And yet… we punish them indirectly for doing the right thing.
I suspect that the trouble is just beginning. I’m sure that John or his family will be taxed on the donations he’s received to pay for the hospital charges that he never should have been billed for!
Hospitals go through $2600 bucks of toilet paper in the emergency room lobby every day just due to illegal aliens.
The ambulance company should have waived their bill to say;
“Good Job, Well Done, you’re a hero and made of the right stuff”
The hospital and the doctor that checked him out should have done the same.
Instead they’ve sent a message not only to this heroic young man but to everyone nationwide.
The message is Human life is worth $2600 or in the case of Mr. Lopez… Your Job!
Sadly, this is one of the reasons I no longer have a current CPR or first aid card.
It works like this… If I have the card and don’t help I’m liable and If I do help and something bad happens once I’ve accepted the responsibility to help someone I’m liable.
I don’t have 8 Million in liability insurance and couldn’t afford the premiums even if I wanted to.
So If you’re bleeding out, or have a heart attack around me, and you’re not my best friend or a member of my immediate family… well YOUR’E GOING TO DIE. Sorry about that, Can’t be helped but you will have the joy of actually seeing all the ambulance chasing attorneys in a special circle of hell reserved JUST for them…
I figure that my best friend and immediate family members aren’t likely to sue me for trying to save their lives.
Our overly litigious and greedy society is unfortunately filled with tons of people looking for an angle… A way to get rich quick, even if it’s on the back of a Good Samaritan whose only sin is that they tried to help.
After reading articles like these… It’s obvious that a value has already been set. A human life is worth $2600. If it costs more than $2600 to treat you then you’re dead! Obamacare take note!
I suppose that the converse is also true… As a Good Samaritan I could only be sued for $2600.
Hmmm, maybe I could go get that CPR/First Aid card renewed. I could afford to be sued for that amount….
Nahhhh, I’m a white guy I’ll be sued for millions, especially if I happen to help a lawyer. I can see it now…
“Is it true that you prevented me from bleeding out from a gunshot wound? ‘Uhh Yes.’ But you weren’t trained to deal with gunshot wound were you? ‘Uhh No.’ Your honor, the prosecution rests it’s case. The defendant wasn’t qualified to save my life and therefore should pay restitution for bruising me with the tourniquet that saved my life in the amount of 20 million dollars.”
The Obscene part is that I and millions of other people just like me will hesitate for a second or two to consider the ramifications of getting involved.
That second or two could mean the difference between someone living and dying. Is this really the society that you want to live in?
Something to think about…
You Know… I’m too easily distracted.
But then I get pissy because my distractibility leads me to doing stuff that isn’t actually forwarding my goals.
My God Son indirectly pointed this out to me.
He asked how the book was going and was genuinely interested.
The book is moving forward. It’s just that it’s moving too slowly for my expectations. BUT THAT’S Nobodys fault but mine.
I have to learn to be more even tempered… at my ancient age you’d think I’d have this stuff down pat but I don’t
I’m stressing internally about a lot of things. I want to finish the book, I need to find a new job and if I find a new job out of state… I’ll be forced to make a decision between a long relationship and being able to support not only myself but others as well.
However, that too is something that isn’t reason enough to get pissy.
Again, the people that care about me and love me shouldn’t have to put up with me being an asshole.
What reason do they have to love me at all if all they ever get from me is snottiness because I’m all wrapped up in my shit?
I really have to get my shit right and remember that the people who love me must always have a special place in my head and my heart that is free of external B.S. They should always know that I care very much about them, and the only way I can make sure of that is to make sure is to show them.