Month: June 2012

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Sandusky gets his day(s) in court.

Jerry Sandusky © Time.com

Jerry Sandusky is finally having his day in court.

As his trial begins I can’t help but think about how difficult it must be for the young men involved to testify.

If as alleged, Sandusky did molest these boys he deserves the harshest punishment the law can impose.

If the law hasn’t got the stomach for punishing someone like this… I can think of a few dungeons that could use Sandusky in the same ways that he allegedly used the boys. 

As I’ve mentioned before, I firmly believe that everyones first sexual experience should be one of joy, humor, and fun.

Unfortunately there are 10 young men who allegedly never had that opportunity. In fact they never had a chance to discover what their sexuality might have been because someone they trusted and respected imposed his skewed twisted sexuality on them.

If proven guilty, Sanduskys’ betrayal of the boys trust and his stealing of their innocence is a crime for which I can find no forgiveness or excuse.

Let us not forget who Jerry Sandusky is.

He’s 68, self identified as straight, was an upstanding member of the community, reportedly a Methodist, and the adopted Father of six.

He’s the founder of The Second Mile which was a nonprofit organization for underprivileged and at risk children.

He was the assistant coach for most of his career at Penn State

In all he’s the typical all american guy next door who grew up in a time and culture where being homosexual was not a viable option. Then, much more than today the penalty was being ostracized, reviled, hated, and committed for psychiatric treatment.

The “treatments” of the time were notably gruesome. By any standard then… or now, such treatments are classified as torture.

None of this is meant to provide excuse for what Sandusky is accused of.

However being mindful of what being homosexual used to mean does provide a context for how someone like Sandusky could become as fucked up as he apparently is.

Sanduskys’ founding of The Second Mile is a particularly twisted element in this case. He effectively created his own private hunting ground and then used it frequently. Sadly the organizations charter to provide help to “At-Risk” children didn’t include protecting the kids from Sandusky.

This kind of twisted human is what comes out of lifelong terrified repression.

Yet, the crucible that forged Jerry Sandusky is exactly what the religious right, and the ultra right wing members of the Republican party seek to reinstate.

Had Sandusky been allowed to grow up and live without such fear and repression, would he have molested 10 young boys?

That can’t answered for sure. Perhaps it’s something to think about the next time you find yourself nodding and saying amen during a hateful sermon from the likes of Pastor Charles L Worley, or comments from politicians like Rick Santorum.

After all…

You have to think of the children.

 

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The Tonys

Neil patrick harris

As a rule I don’t watch award shows.

Last night I noticed that Neal Patrick Harris was hosting and figured I’d tune in briefly to see him. 

I’m impressed with his talent. I had no idea that he could sing & dance. His performance kept me interested enough that I wanted to see more… of him. So I did watch the Tonys on fast scan.

Thankfully I’d managed to buffer about an hour of the show while watching the season opener of True Blood.  Had it not been for my ability to skip the emotionally draining tearful thank you speeches and endless commercials I couldn’t have made it through the whole program. 

I kept skipping to Neal and enjoyed him thoroughly. I even managed to make it to Trey Parker and Matt Stone taking the stage after having to go “real time” on the DVR.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually like going to the theater, I wish I had more money and time to do so. I’d especially like to go to NY and actually take in a Broadway show on Broadway.

I just can’t stand award shows or award ceremonies of any kind. I think most of them are pretentious and frankly even non-entertainment awards aren’t about who’s best, they’re about who’s kissing the asses of the people giving out the awards.

On the other hand I’ll probably be watching for Neil Patrick Harris on other award shows and tune in… Even if it is only to fast scan to Neils’ parts.

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Why the hell is the gender of your sex partner so damn important?

It’s one of those things that I’ve been pondering lately.

It’s pretty much universal that all humans want to get off. We’re wired to seek out the neurological overload and subsequent endorphin release of an orgasm.

Most of us at some point in our early adolescence figure out;

a) That feels nice

b) That feels really nice!

c) OH MY GOD I’m dying… I’ve broken something… are these convulsions going to kill me? What will my mother say when she finds me like this?

d) Hmmm, I wonder if I can do that again!

Embracing

Then we’re all off and running. We’re trying to see what happens when we combine parts. When we do finally manage to combine our parts we find a whole new world of endorphin rush, and hopefully though not guaranteed, the comfort of loving human touch.

Some of us have funny memories about our first sexual encounter. Sadly some of us have memories of that first time being violent and wrong.

Most of us are clumsy, & awkward, the first few times, and yet somehow even in the “loss of innocence” there is a wonderful innocence in discovery.

Several times in my life I’ve been honored to have been asked questions by virgins of both genders. I’ve always said to these people;

“Make a good and happy memory. It’s a memory that you will carry with you for the rest of your life and it’s worth taking the time to make it a good one.”

I’m also a believer in something Xavier Hollander said many years ago. “If you have to be high, or drunk to have sex… you’re not ready to have sex.”

Thing is… In our humanness we all have common ground. Gender is secondary to humanness or so I’ve always believed.

I’ve personally had loads of sexual fun with both genders. I’ve been privileged to show more than one curious straight man what sex between men is like.

To me the willingness of the person and my emotional attachment to them is top priority, we’ll figure out how to make our parts fit and get off in the bedroom behind closed doors.

When we’re done we’ll both have smiles on our faces and hopefully be better friends…

Sometimes the intimacy is a simple touch, or listening. At the other end of the spectrum it’s the deep intimacy of sex. However giving pleasure and comfort in whatever form is really nothing more than an expression of how much you care about someone.

Isn’t that really what it’s supposed to be about?