Month: June 2012

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Why the hell is the gender of your sex partner so damn important?

It’s one of those things that I’ve been pondering lately.

It’s pretty much universal that all humans want to get off. We’re wired to seek out the neurological overload and subsequent endorphin release of an orgasm.

Most of us at some point in our early adolescence figure out;

a) That feels nice

b) That feels really nice!

c) OH MY GOD I’m dying… I’ve broken something… are these convulsions going to kill me? What will my mother say when she finds me like this?

d) Hmmm, I wonder if I can do that again!

Embracing

Then we’re all off and running. We’re trying to see what happens when we combine parts. When we do finally manage to combine our parts we find a whole new world of endorphin rush, and hopefully though not guaranteed, the comfort of loving human touch.

Some of us have funny memories about our first sexual encounter. Sadly some of us have memories of that first time being violent and wrong.

Most of us are clumsy, & awkward, the first few times, and yet somehow even in the “loss of innocence” there is a wonderful innocence in discovery.

Several times in my life I’ve been honored to have been asked questions by virgins of both genders. I’ve always said to these people;

“Make a good and happy memory. It’s a memory that you will carry with you for the rest of your life and it’s worth taking the time to make it a good one.”

I’m also a believer in something Xavier Hollander said many years ago. “If you have to be high, or drunk to have sex… you’re not ready to have sex.”

Thing is… In our humanness we all have common ground. Gender is secondary to humanness or so I’ve always believed.

I’ve personally had loads of sexual fun with both genders. I’ve been privileged to show more than one curious straight man what sex between men is like.

To me the willingness of the person and my emotional attachment to them is top priority, we’ll figure out how to make our parts fit and get off in the bedroom behind closed doors.

When we’re done we’ll both have smiles on our faces and hopefully be better friends…

Sometimes the intimacy is a simple touch, or listening. At the other end of the spectrum it’s the deep intimacy of sex. However giving pleasure and comfort in whatever form is really nothing more than an expression of how much you care about someone.

Isn’t that really what it’s supposed to be about?

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Sometimes you can’t just “Walk it off”

For the past couple of months I’ve been having problems with my sinuses. I was annoyed and thought that I’d had 3 minor colds over the past four months.

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Like most guys I ignored it. I’d apparently get over the cold and be good for a few weeks then have a new minor cold again. These bouts were irritating and I was thinking “Wow, getting old is a stone bitch.” I’d begun to wonder if a cold a month was what I had to look forward to for the rest of my life.

Then about 2 weeks ago I developed yet another cold. This one however was different. I was coughing and hacking, my throat was swollen, I was sleeping sitting up and my sinuses were completely shut. If you’d held a hand over my mouth I’d have suffocated.

I was thinking, “OK, the previous colds have just run me down, now this one and all the pollen in the air has just combined to form a perfect storm”. Well After a week of getting a little better during the day then not sleeping at night… then a particularly rough night of coughing and hacking (I could get maybe one or two breaths between coughing bouts) I finally called my Doctor.

I described the symptoms including nose bleeds and colors of sinus discharges (who knew greenish yellow was bad?). The receptionist relayed the information to the Doc and he phoned in RXs to my local pharmacy.

After two and a half days on the meds I’m feeling pretty darn good. Most of all I’m sleeping… a lot! Tuesday & Wednesday escaped me. I happily napped and slept deeply both days and nights.

I really ought to pay more attention… My first clue that I was really sick should have been that I hadn’t been interested in sex for over a week. That’s sex of any kind… alone, with someone, naughty videos, nothing. I think the new rule is going to be if I’m not interested in sex… Call the Doctor stat!

I’m actually happy that the pollen and everything else brought this to a head. I’m planning some Summer trips and feeling crappy while you’re supposed to be enjoying yourself is never fun.

One friend described me as the Black Knight from Monty Pythons Holy Grail “It’s just a flesh wound“.

I’m antsy now. There are so many things that need to be done in the yard. The grass / weeds combination is out of control. I’m itching to get the weed whacker and go to town. There are a lot of little projects that I wanted to be done with already.

I suspect that’s how I’ve had a low grade infection for months on end… I’d start to feel better and then overdo it. So I’m going to relax… rest, watch TV maybe even a naughty film or two and wait for my body to finish the repairs.

There’s time enough to do the projects and those that don’t get done… well maybe they just didn’t need doing.

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Paraprosdokian Of the Week

A Friend sent me a list of these. I thought it would be fun to share them

Paraprosdokians are phrases or sentences that lead us down the garden path to an unexpected ending.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

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Farewell Ray Bradbury

As I read the notice about Ray Bradbury’s death I couldn’t help but reflect on the impact his stories had on me growing up.

Mars atmosphere

The Martian Chronicles first acquainted me with the fact that “Alien” was truly a matter of perspective. I’ve wondered how often earthly conflicts might have been avoided if more people had read The Martian Chronicles

Several of his short stories have stuck with me throughout my life. Of those, There Will Come Soft Rains and The Veldt  are my favorites.

I appreciated his writing style. When It came to book reports in school, Bradbury & Verne were my go to authors. I suspect that I would not be the person I am without their tales. I developed a joy in reading because of them. That joy lead me to Clarke, Heinlein, Vonnegut, Herbert, & Michener.

By the 3rd or 4th grade I had confidence in my reading ability and was fearless in any library because of an early acquaintance with Mr Bradburys’ writing.

Not so much because of information contained in Bradburys writing, but because I COULD READ his stories without stumbling too often on the words.

Bradbury painted such vivid word pictures I could see the plains of Mars, or the silhouettes  of a family playing burned forever into a wall.

It’s not just the entertaining stories writers such as I’ve mentioned give us, it’s collateral effects such as joy in reading, new ways of looking at the world & ourselves, and sparking the imagination of a ten year old on a Summer day.

There will be many people writing many words about Mr. Bradbury. I doubt none will be truer than these;

Thank you sir, for a lifetime of joy, inspiration,  and new ideas.

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Off to the OC this morning

Getting ready to head to the OC. 

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Going to help a friend out with some stuff at his place.

He’s getting ready to enter remodel hell and I’ve already changed the sheets on the guest bed in preparation for him saying “fuck this shit”  and bailing to my place for the duration.

After going through the building of this house where we were starting from scratch, I can only imagine the hell my friend is in for.

Contractors not showing up when they say they’re going to.

Problems at other jobs holding up the completion of his remodel

Mistakes being made that the contractor is reluctant to correct even though the mistake was theirs.

Workmen tromping through the house in the early morning when you’ve had a rough night

and the dust, smells, and people yelling for this or that.

Then there’s the fact that at his place there is limited parking, and his home cascades down a hillside. The remodel is taking place on the entry level of the home so there’s not going to be any way for him to avoid the work areas.

And lets not forget… you really don’t want to be running the A/C with all the drywall dust in the air.

My friend is smart though, he’s heading out of the country for a month, leaving his other half to deal with all the chaos. I think he’s hoping that most of this will be complete by the time he returns.

Uhhh dude hate to burst your bubble. They’re contractors, they’ll make a big mess then not show up for 2 weeks then other delays  will push your completion date out at least 6 weeks. Oh and don’t expect to have much of that front garden left when you come home.

Just sayin…

Now that I’ve been a ray of sunshine… I’m heading for the shower.