Month: June 2012

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Butt Toys

Yeah You read it, Yeah I said it.

[I’ve decided to write mini-reviews of items that catch my attention. Personally, I hate jumping in blind and spending $50 to $200 on a toy only to find out that it’s cheaply made, or simply don’t live up to expectations. So take my review in the spirit in which it’s meant. These are my experiences your mileage will probably vary.]

The male butt can be an amazing source of pleasure. I discovered this as an adolescent, but shame and social taboos kept me from really enjoying all that my butt could offer until well into middle age.

Many men, straight and otherwise have been introduced to the pleasures of anal stimulation by their significant others. I’ve known many women that loved “turning the tables” on their men.

Done right, someone stimulating your prostate can add a whole new dimension to sex and orgasm. You want a mind blowing orgasm? Have someone or something massaging your prostate when you cum. I guarantee that you’ll come back for more.

Whether you have a partner or not,  I can suggest a couple of fine toys.

My current favorites are the Aneros Progasm Ice and the Lelo “Billy”

The Progasm Ice is a great toy.

Having used the Aneros MGX for a while, I wanted something a little more interesting. I can heartily recommend the Ice.

One of the things I didn’t care for with the MGX was the perineum tab tended to be a little too sharp. Not like it cut or anything but it just dug into the perineum a little too aggressively for my tastes.

Dimg progasmice

The Progasm Ice is a different animal altogether

As you can see in the photo the front tab has a nice round ball and provides pressure and stimulation without digging in.

The Aneros toys are deceptive.

They look like nothing at all… yet, used properly these devices can take you to a hands free orgasm.

They’re powered by your own body. As your anal muscles contract, the Aneros presses on your prostate when causes another contraction and so on until you’re blissed out and cumming.

There are conflicting reports about health benefits of having your prostate massaged. Some people swear that prostate massage is essential for good prostate and sexual health. The medical profession seems less convinced.

Billy deep blue mv

I can tell you from my own experience, that prostate stimulation and massage just feels damn good.

Since I’m all about feeling good, as long as my prostate isn’t damaged by whatever is being done to it, I’m a happy man.

My other favorite toy for prostate massage is the  Lelo “Billy”

The “Billy” is pretty darn close to perfect if you’re into powered pleasure.

(I’d never seen a Lelo vibrator until I was shopping with someone very close to me who purchased one for his wife. I was impressed with the design and wondered if they made something for men… Short answer is Yes. )

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The curve is perfect and angles right at the prostate.

The diameter of the “Billy” is just right for beginners to butt play as well as the more… uh experienced user.

The controls are easy to use and the 5 programmed pulse modes combined with the variable speed of the unit make for a wide variety of pleasurable adventures.

This unit is well built, rechargeable, and a whole lot of fun. The “Billy” is a little pricy but looks like it’s going to hold up well.

I personally like the pulse mode. I have no doubt that everyone can find something to make their butt happy.

I’m thinking about giving one of these as a gift to my brother… Well Actually I think I’d have to give it to his wife… I’ll probably have to include 20 or 30 feet of rope so she could tie him down and force pleasure on him!

Combine either or both of these toys with a big healthy dose of Spunk Lube and you’re good to go for playtime either alone, or with your mate.

Spunk Lube has become my go to lube for general play. Whatever you’re sliding into your partner Spunk gives you a silky smooth ride. I’ve had no trouble with condoms or toys and as advertised Spunk cleans up easily.

The problem I suspect most folks have with toys, is the expense.

It’s not like you can walk into a store and try a toy to decide if you like it.

So you look at the item carefully and then you make the call. If you’re lucky the item in question works the way you hope.

I got lucky with these toys,

I hope my review helps you get lucky too.

 

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Paraprosdokian Of the Week

A Friend sent me a list of these. I thought it would be fun to share them

Paraprosdokians are phrases or sentences that lead us down the garden path to an unexpected ending.

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
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Why do we never learn?

I caught an article this morning reporting that the CIA is funneling arms to the Syrian rebels.

Have we learned nothing?

We did the same thing In Afghanistan. Yes, the Russian military got beaten back… in the process we created an enemy that 12 years later we began fighting. 

Frightening isn’t it? Only 12 years after the Russians pulled out of Afghanistan we were there again, this time as combatants. We’ve been there for a decade. 

Weapons1

So here we are AGAIN! 

We, along with Turkey, Saudi Arabia, and Qatar, are assisting in arming and I’m assuming providing tactical training to the Syrian Rebels…

To what end? 

We claim humanitarian reasons, the fact is many of the Middle Eastern cultures have a vastly different ideas about what humanitarian means.

When are we going to learn that interfering in the internal political affairs of other countries is not in our best interest?

Part of our involvement stems, I’m sure from UN directives.

I’ve noticed that when it comes to UN peace keeping missions it’s the American Military and by extension the American Taxpayer who’s footing the bill.

Yet the very countries where the UN has placed our military in harms way often hate us with a bloodlust that borders on insanity.

I find myself asking again and again, whats in it for us?

Food, oil, gold, silver, aluminum, coal, any raw materials? Uhhh NO!

But there’s a mountain of debt that gets racked up with each little peacekeeping action.

Personally I resent having to pay for the clean up of some despots mess. I might feel differently if I paid $1 a gallon for gas and our military budget was completely covered.

I’ve long thought that our military should be a palms up mercenary force. If the UN wants us to bring peace to an area… Then they or the afflicted country should foot the bill, not the American people.

In the case of Syria… If the Syrian government could pay for our services then I say we send our military in to stop the rebellion. If the Rebels and their supporters can outbid the Syrian government then our military fights on the side of the rebels.

We’d make no judgement about the conflict. We’d take the money do our job and we leave. The smoking ruins and collateral damage would not be our concern. 

If the equation was as simple as the services of the US Military goes to the highest cash bidder, I wonder how many conflicts would end at the diplomatic table before they ever started?

The world wants us to be their Police… Fine. Even cops get paid.

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I’m more than a little uncomfortable with this

This article is disturbing to me on a number of levels.

UAVs

The US government is beginning to use UAVs (Unmanned Aerial Vehicles) to conduct surveillance over the United States. 

First and foremost, I’m mindful that ALL Governments abuse their power. I have no reason to believe that our government is any different.

In the aftermath of 911 our government enacted The Patriot Act. I, like most Americans at the time thought, “Sure, a temporary abridgment of our rights is worth it to provide for the security of our nation.

At the time I thought that the US government would simply contact everyone that was here on expired visas and give them a deadline to leave. I expected that we’d also severely restrict travel from any countries that were known to harbor extremists. Further I thought that all student visas would be cancelled and foreign students would be asked to return to their home countries while we assessed the threat, and came up with a plan to secure our borders.

All of these logical preventative measures while inconvenient to those affected would have allowed the country some breathing room. Yes it sounds xenophobic… However at the time it was pretty damn obvious that the enemy in an as yet undeclared war was already within our borders.

As we now know… none of these logical steps were taken.

In the period after 9/11 to this day our borders are not secured. There are people from every country in the world who have remained here after their visas ran out, and still others who are here after crossing the border like thieves in the night. Some of these people contribute to the economy and some do not…

The one common element is that all of these people are here and remain so illegally.

Obviously The Patriot Act wasn’t what we thought it was, and it’s purpose was not to help protect the country from external threats.

What I and millions of other Americans forgot is;  once rights are taken away by the State, they are never returned. This truism was brought home by none other than President Obama when he signed the extension of The Patriot Act.

Hope and Change? MY ASS!

Obviously, the government wants to maintain the “Special Powers” so that they can continue the inexorable march toward a police state.

Using Drones over American Soil is another step toward a state wherein the enemy of the United States (AKA Our Government) is in fact the people that are being governed.  

Aerial surveillance is a simple way to bypass the expense of having surveillance cameras mounted everywhere as is done in London. A side benefit is that the populace may not notice a UAV flying overhead sending live video data back to law enforcement. 

There are those that argue surveillance of the kind used in London deters crime.

I agree and disagree. Those people marginally tempted to commit an opportunistic crime will probably be deterred by cameras on every street corner.

A hardened criminal will be undeterred and will actively find methods to obfuscate their identities. The ever popular ski mask and hooded sweatshirt come to mind. 

So while you may not have as many purse snatchings, you’ll still have the really hard crimes.

I’m absolutely opposed to a UAV flying over my house taking pictures of my mundane life, and every other American should be too.This is a violation of privacy, and the potential for abuse is far too high.

Currently thanks to The Patriot Act and other more clandestine laws abridging our rights, our government has the right, desire, and ability to watch virtually every aspect of our lives.

Every communication via whatever media (Landline, Cellphone, Internet, radio) can be monitored without warrant or notification right now!

Don’t forget, your cell phone, and many new vehicles with OnStar type systems can also easily be tracked. My car for example, has the ability to report it’s exact location via GPS. Another thing few people consider is that most cars with all their modern electronics can be disabled remotely.

Sure, it’s called anti theft but the other side of that coin is that if, for some reason the government or law enforcement wanted to arrest you it’s a pretty simple matter to immobilize you in your fancy new car. Spike strips, high speed chases? Nahhh a single command transmitted via the cellular network and your engine simply turns off.

Our government using UAVs simply means that in addition to all the above… Any citizen can be followed, observed, their activities recorded, their acquaintances documented and whatever “evidence” is collected can be used against the citizen by an all powerful, all seeing government.

UAVs don’t have to be large. The same technology that allows you to upload a YouTube video from your cellphone, can be used to allow a small inexpensive UAV to spy on you.

George Orwell’s 1984 is happening right now.

So what are We The People going to do about it?

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The annual exams of this old carcass are almost done.

vitruvianOnly one more MD appointment and then I’m hopefully done for the year.

Dealing with the medical stuff as we get older is a royal pain in the ass. I’m not in poor health, but even now I find myself longing for the days when I needed Zero help from any physician.

My eyes aren’t what they once were. My sinuses are a mess, and the doctors are always hounding me about my diet, exercise and a litany of other age related concerns.

None of the things the Docs are mentioning are “In the RED” they’re just little things that seem to happen as we age. Of course the medical profession says “we have a medication for that”. I’ll be far more impressed when the medical profession says we can fix that problem for another 30 years!

Yeah, give me a drug or procedure that reverses the issue for 20 or 30 years and I’ll submit to it. I’m not one of those people that is going to willingly take a fist full of drugs 3 times a day. Besides the expense, the side effects are usually murder.

I can tell you this… I eat meat! I’m not going to stop eating meat and if that means that I don’t live quite as long so be it.

What’s the point of living a long life if it’s a life devoid of the little pleasures? I’d much rather be happy than ancient and sad.

Like most men, my preferred death would be to pass on during the most mind blowing orgasm of my life. I’d like to arrive at the gates of heaven roaring in pleasure,  semi hard, and dripping.

I like that image for no other reason than it would be fun freak out all the pious religious people who missed out on so much because they lived in terror of an afterlife of punishment.

I’ve got this twisted view that God shakes his finger at you for not enjoying the gift of life and the joys our bodies were built to have. What a waste if you didn’t enjoy everything the world had to offer.

I know that’s not the mainstream view but then again… I’m not and never have been mainstream.

I hope everyone has a great Fathers Day. Now go find some time to do what made you Fathers in the first place.