Always Been a fan of the movie Dogma

If you haven’t seen the movie it’s well worth your time.

There are a lot of pious religious folks that really hated the movie because they didn’t like it’s portrayal of the church, angels, and it’s generally irreverent take on God.

Personally, I suspect that God was sitting in the audience laughing right along with the rest of us.

I bring this whole thing up because I’ve been really ill with a cold / sinus / allergy? thing for going on 7 days. God created the world in 7 days… I’m done with feeling lousy!

As I was sitting in my favorite chair last night flipping aimlessly through TV channels all I could think was “When is this going to end?”

Which led me to Alan Rickmans line “It never ends” as he’s wiping the blood off his jacket with the hem of Gods clothes.

Strange what you think about at 3 am when you realize that your body is putting up a good fight. In the process the bug that you’ve caught is finding all new ways to inflict pain. Then you realize that  the bug in question hasn’t any clue whatsoever that it’s making you want to stick you head in a microwave.

Who knew that your teeth could hurt in such exquisite ways. Not a toothache per-se but a whole palate of pain that would make what Dustin Hoffman endured in the movie “Marathon Man” seem like Sunday at the park with Ice cream.

Much later last night, I noticed that every time there was a breeze through the house or indeed if I moved the comforter on the bed I’d start coughing violently. This led me to ask why?

I’d noticed a lot more pollen than usual in the air over the past few days. I started wondering if part of the problem was that there was so much pollen my body was simply trying to expel yet more foreign bodies.

When I say pollen… I mean that everything that can bloom is blooming. There are clouds of the stuff so thick at times it looks like dust storm. Everything in the house is covered with a pale yellow dust.

You want to talk sick??? Think of the pollen this way it’s cum!

Yeah you read that right it’s plant spooge, and you’re breathing it, eating it, and you can’t get away from it. Makes what you do in the bedroom seem pretty tame don’t if?

Don’t even try to tell me you don’t swallow!

At this point I was actually thinking about sleeping in the back seat of my car.  I could even program it to fire up the fans and suck filtered air into the cabin  ever 4 hours.

It’s been in the garage for the past week. Sealed like a space capsule, all the cabin filters in place. A beautiful leather clad oasis of clean air oh my!

Sleeping in the car was looking better and better. The space craft metaphor is strangely true in the case of that car.. There are times when I expect to hear Majel Barrett Roddenberrys’ voice saying something like “Warning you’ve entered a personal hazard zone.” As I drive through Southern California.

Ok yeah it’s weird.

Tell me you’ll do better after the 6th consecutive night of getting 2 hours of sleep and coughing so hard your’e tasting blood then wondering if your lungs are coming up next. I double dog dare you!

As the morning light dispelled the insanity of the witching hours a simple plan began to gather like the light in the East.

It dawned on me that an experiment to find out if it’s the pollen or if I have a cold would be to close the house, (limiting the introduction of more pollen) and turn on the A/C.

The recycled air is filtered albeit not well, but limiting the introduction of additional pollen might go a long way toward removing the irritants. Much as I hate to have the A/C on this early in the year I figure I can run the experiment for 48 hours and see what happens.

Which leads me back to “Dogma”

There’s a scene where one of the demons says “No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater… than central air. “

So here I sit having a cup of coffee house darkened by drawn shades the sexual sinning hum of the A/C compressor occasionally heard from outside. And You know what? I’m not coughing as much. The real test will be tonight when I try to get some sleep.

Meanwhile the Dogs are more than happy with the A/C being on. They’re snoring loudly on their beds.

Now you’ve been through part of the rabbit hole that is my brain.

I hope you’ve incurred no permanent damage.

 

Here’s a bonus question… The control panel shown above, what fictional species does it belong to?

—– Update —–