Okay, Enough!

The cold from hell is still hanging on.

It’s to the point now that if I’m on the mend, I feel like increasing my activity and then it comes back.

I’m in bed again coughing my fool head off, with a slight fever.

Whatever this bug is, it’s a stone bitch. It’s not like I’ve been doing a lot of stuff. It doesn’t take much at all to cause a set back.

If you’ve got this thing take it easy and give yourself time to heal.

I’m hoping that this weekend is the last weekend I have to put up with this crap. The other half is in worse shape than I am. I keep expecting to see a lung laying on the floor.


When I picked up my car the other day I saw a brand new 4 series that was honestly sex on wheels.

I went to the BMW site and built one for me. Uhh, WOW am I expensive! I noticed that automatic transmission was apparently the only option for the machine.

On a related note, when I returned the loaner car it was shifting much better. I think the transmission just needed to have more than 100 miles on it.

I’m still not a fan of automatic transmissions but I could break my rule for a new 4 series convertible. Maybe I should start a gofundme page?

Hope you have a great weekend.

Not that I’m complaining…

I have a loaner BMW 328i.

It’s brand new, with an automatic transmission. I don’t like BMW automatics. The shifting is clunky, and somewhat unpredictable. The car itself is floaty, even in the super sport mode. My car on the other hand is low to the ground, and tight.

Most new BMWs are equipped with automatic transmissions. There is some speculation that from here on out if you prefer a manual transmission you’ll have to order it special, as opposed to having to specify an automatic. I personally think this sucks.

I expect a soft floaty ride from a Mercedes, unless you’re talking about a super high end AMG. I don’t expect that kind of ride from a Beemer.

BMW’s are supposed to be “drivers” cars. This 328 is nice, but it doesn’t feel like a BMW. In some ways it feels more like a Chevy Impala.

I can’t see spending the cash for a 3 series if this is representative of the new era Beemers.

If BMW wants to sell cars, they should give people like me ‘M’ versions of something, as loaners.

On the plus side, the car place called to tell me they think they’ve found the problem. They have to order parts and I probably wont see my car until Tuesday.

That will be a happy reunion. Maybe I’ll make a Palm Springs run.

Sigh…

You know, lately every time I want to go somewhere it’s always a pain in the ass.

Of course it’s not actually just because I’m trying to go somewhere. It’s that I’m trying to go somewhere and that requires that I get in the car.

A couple of weeks ago I needed brakes. OK I knew it had been a long time… Like NEVER! Since the brakes had been done. 7 years and 100,000 miles later isn’t all that bad.

Unfortunately that’s where the mechanic stopped in his diagnostics. Instead of throughly checking out the whole braking system, including the ABS system, the mechanic thought, “Customer reports squealing / howl, brake pads are near end of life, we’re done.”

No doubt the computer(s) said, “Yup, everything is good, no errors posted,” and because of the pressure to turn vehicles over in his service bay, the mechanic disregarded the rest of the customer report.

The howl only happens in the morning.
It only happens once right after the car is pulled out of the driveway.
The sound is more a howl than a squeal.

Sigh…

This morning the howl started then stopped. I went to my first stop then I’m heading to my next stop and there’s the howl again along with the distinct smell of something burning.

Okaaaayyy! NOT GOOD!

Cancel the rest of my day! Get the car repair place on the phone and tell them I need to get my car back in, and they need to put me in a rental. Thankfully, the repair place is pretty accommodating.

One flatbed tow truck ride later, I’m at the repair place handing them the keys to my car. They’re handing me the keys to a brand new 328i and I’m on my way again. Now lets see if I can pick up the pieces of my day and get something productive done.

I’ve discovered that I don’t like BMW automatic transmissions, they have a very weird shifting pattern, especially if you’re heading up a hill. On the plus side, I’ve got a nice ride for a few days.

I have a bad feeling that this is going to be another expensive repair.

Car Service…

We all hate it.

We all think it’s expensive.

Usually we suffer in silence.

So with that in mind, I’d like to thank a friend of mine for the pep talk in telling me what he paid for a single tire on his current car and what he paid generally for frequent service on his Lexus.

Turns out that not only have I gotten a lot more life out of my brakes than the BMW folks expected, (I love it when the service writer is stunned.) I’ve also consistently gotten much better brake and tire life than my friend with the Lexus.

So I don’t feel like my nose is quite so bloodied. 

108K miles on my original brakes isn’t too shabby. Of course you only wear your brakes out if you use them! Does that tell you anything about my driving style?

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There’s an i8 here at the dealership.  It’s very handsome and I must admit I’d love to have one. However the car costs more than my house is worth.  The one here at the dealership is even in a color I’d like humm…

I think I’ll have to wait a few years… and get a job… and sell a LOT more books, perhaps some blood, a kidney and a lot of semen.

TMI????

It comes down to how much you want something!

I consider myself a thoroughbred I’ve got good genetics, great teeth, good health, a great head of hair, and a highly adaptable biology… I should be able to sell semen for at least a grand a shot don’t ya think? 

Yeah, yeah, I know… probably couldn’t get .99!  I’ve always thought highly of myself, so sue me!

I really like the 4 series. They’ve got a couple of very nice M4s here and I could be very, very, tempted by one of those. 

It looks like as I suspected, the brakes were at end of life. It’s one of those situations where they could just do the fronts then I’d wait for the rears to do them later. But if you’re in for a penny you might as well be in for a pound. 

I’ve always been in favor of doing the service and being good to go with the expensive stuff for another xx K miles. I was thinking about it and It occurred to me that I haven’t seen the inside of a dealership for at least a year so I’m really not going to complain too much.

Since my life is kinda in a state of flux, it makes sense to have a vehicle in a known good state because I have no idea what I’m going to have to do or when. But whatever happens I’m probably not going to have a whole lot of time off to deal with car issues.

Was watching the end of a car jacking the other night…

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I was watching this carjacker as he was driving his 2nd car trying to evade the cops.

As the chase came to its inevitable end, I found myself wanting blood!

I was screaming at the TV “KILL HIM, KILL HIM”. When he bailed out of the vehicle I was genuinely hoping someone would run him over. When he went down due to a gunshot, I was saying “LET HIM DIE!”

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I really was hoping the dumb ‘load his daddy should have jacked down the toilet‘ would bleed out right there on the road.

I wanted him to be a shining example of stupidity and it’s immediate consequence.

Unfortunately, LA Fire was too efficient in getting paramedics to that asshole. 

I complement the LAPD and Paramedics of LA Fire. Those guys did a great job, the police in trying to be take this guy  alive (Although personally a bullet in his head would have been acceptable at ANY point), and LA Fire working to save this guy.

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There are times when I find myself wanting a Blackhawk helicopter to just cut a car jacker, or a high speed chase vehicle in half.

No warning, nothing spectacular just 5 or 10 seconds of .50 or .60 caliber fire. The vehicle turning into a burning shell with no survivors.

How many of those would it take before folks just stopped doing this stupid shit?

Probably not too many!

Then I realized that I was probably thinking like the ancient Romans during the gladiatorial games. After a nice lead up, you see the battle, (In this case the chase, the destruction during multiple accidents), then the finale.

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BLOOD! Death, and a feeling that the killing was well deserved.

Especially in this situation.

The guy stole one car, then on live TV shoves a gun in a woman’s face and jacked her car. The news showed the accidents he’d been involved in prior to him jacking that lady’s car.

I joined right as he took the lady’s car and watched the rest of the insanity unfold. I lost count of how many cars he damaged. 

I was pissed, I wanted to see him die.  I was thinking, “Oh yeah, he deserves to be screaming in agony and die on that street.”

All I need is a toga, and wine.

I really shouldn’t get so spun up… BUT DAMN!

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My Nike+ Fuel band is broken and needs repair. I look up the warranty and find the receipt then discover that I only have to take the fuel band down to the local Nike store and they’ll repair or replace it.

Great! I print out the receipt, and the warranty page which clearly states “To obtain in-person warranty support bring the defective product and sales receipt to a Nike retail store

Yesterday Morning, I sync the last data out of the fuel band, locking up my computer in the process.

Really?

You choose NOW to lock up? I swear I’ve done exactly this same procedure 100 times in the past 8 months and had no trouble at all.

But this time WHEN I need to get out the door, It’s a hard lockup.

Great! I sit down, disconnect all the cabling from the laptop open it, press and hold the power button then restart the system. I reconnect all the cables and boom I’m out the door.

I saddle up and drive the 45 minutes to the Nike Store.

I’m in the parking lot and heading for a parking space when a crazed bitch pops through the parking lanes does a U-turn in front of me and whips into the parking space I was pulling into then she gives ME Shit for being close to her POS car WHILE she’s talking to her phone in speaker phone mode and I’m the one who’s in the wrong…

Riiiight! I called her a bad name, I actually called her a fat assed one…

I backed up a little and went to the furthest parking spot in the freakin parking lot.

I don’t want no trouble, I just want to get into this shopping center, do my shit and get the hell out of here and home BEFORE it gets completely insane!

I hoof it to the store, wait in line and get to the cash register.

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I hand the clerk the broken fuel band and the receipt plus a printout of the warranty… then ask him “who should I talk to about this?”

He looks at the warranty paper then goes to get someone else. OK Fine…

The new guy looks at the warranty paper and the receipt and says “you bought this in December from Nike”

I’m starting to get a bad feeling but I figure nope, I’ll be nice.

“Yep direct from Nike. The button is broken I just need to exchange it. Under warranty which is 1 year and we’re not there yet.”

He says, “We’re supposed to get them in tomorrow.”

Which begs the questions I think to myself “You’ve never had them in the first place?” or “Is this just a way to get me out of the store”

He continues, “To do the exchange we need to have all the parts that came with it.”

Now I’m sure this is a delay tactic. But I think to myself I’ve still got the original box, and the parts and accessories I can pack ’em all up and come back tomorrow.

I point out that the band is the failure point and that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to just have a big box of the bands without their clasps in the back room and simply do a replacement from that stock. Just swap the customers clasp right there in the store it would take 2 minutes tops and would prevent the bands in the back from being pilfered since they’d fall off without the clasp mechanism.

But THAT would of course be too freakin intelligent. 

Ok, I’m annoyed… but not ticked off. 

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I head out to my car and sure as shit, there’s a rusted out POS parked crooked and so close that I can’t open my drivers door.

Fine! I crawl into the passengers side and squirm my way into the drivers seat. It’s 97F outside. Inside the car it’s well beyond that.

I fire the beast up and hit MAX on the A/C then pull out of the parking lot.

I have one more stop to make. I need to deposit a couple of checks at the credit union. I head toward them, make a right, make another right, then make a left into a shady parking spot. SCORE!!!

Go inside, stand in line… and stand…. and stand… and stand. WTH?

Only Two tellers and both of them occupied with two crazy women. One demanding that the money be recounted (6th time) “‘cause she be knoin she gave dat teller another $40” at one teller window and at the other window the woman is explaining her boyfriends access to the various accounts and that she thinks he’s cheating on her and she needs to get herself some money that aint his money… 

At which point my eyes and ears are starting to bleed.

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I’m wondering if the ATM would be a better option when miracle of miracles a third teller appears at the counter and waves the guy in front of me over. Progress! My eyes and ears are still bleeding. But I might make it out of the credit union before 9PM this evening.

Finally my turn, I hand the teller my endorsed checks, I swipe my ATM card and enter my PIN (Might as well have done the ATM thing) and tell him I want to deposit these checks and get $100 in cash. And that’s when it all fell down…

He looks at the checks, and then logs out of his computer. “Please wait, I’ll be right back…” 

ZIP he’s over conversing with a woman that looks like she put the whole lemon forest in her mouth. After 5 minutes the young guy comes back.

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I ask him what the problem was… He couldn’t read the first word of the spelled out amount… Sigh…

I remind him about wanting the hundred back. Then I’m done… Out the door and across the parking lot I see… a POS parked too close to my passenger door and an orange cone near my drivers door. WTF?

Oh the orange cone is from the mobile car wash guy who’s working on a Mercedes and has gotten my car with the water as he rinsed the Mercedes. He’s looking at me with fear in his eyes.

I guess by rights I could demand a free car wash but the poor guy looks so sorry, hot, & tired, I don’t have the heart. Besides my car is filthy the most he did was add to the water spots already in the dust on my hood. Big Deal!

It’s 99F when I get in the car. I’m on the road again heading North. 18 Wheelers are taking up 3 of the 3 lanes and not giving anyone a break as we inch along toward the freeway.

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Eventually the 18 wheelers manage to take up only 2/3 of the available lanes, me along with everyone else squirts through the opening and ahead into open lanes. Shortly though several cars are playing Indy 500 pace cars and we’re all crawling along catching every light.

Grrrr….

Finally the Freeway! Zip… I’m on cruising and all is well. I come up on Day Creek there’s enough room for 2 cars between me and the guy in front of me. The two cars merge perfectly and get on the freeway without problem. I’m watching the traffic as we approach the I-15 Northbound it bunches up in this area and it’s not uncommon for someone to realize they need to get on the i-15 and they’re not in the correct lane. This results in someone sailing across 6 lanes of traffic and further increase in the backup around the transition.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a white infinity SUV ON MY RIGHT! There’s either no lane or they’re about to run out of lane but they’re accelerating! There’s no room ahead of me, what the hell are they doing?

I’ve been moving at the same speed neither faster or slower there’s 1/4 mile of open road behind me and this dumbass has accelerated and is trying to force herself in to a space that is too small for her bloated ass and why is she doing this anyway?

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I’ve got nowhere to go, I can’t change lanes, and I figure the minute I touch my brakes so will she and we’ll still have a deadlock.

I keep moving at the same speed and hope she figures out that her best choice is to drop behind me like a good little BITCH and stop trying to cause an accident.

I momentarily think of the relative values of our vehicles and her probable impact point on my car, Yep! It would be her fault and I’d sue the fucking hell out of her. But nah… I just want to go home.

So I accelerate a bit to get out of her way because I still have nowhere to go… and the dumb bitch accelerates too!

Now it’s insane! She finally drops behind me as she should have done in the fucking first place and gets on the freeway.

As she takes the faster lane next to me another little bitch…

(I’m thnking a much worse word that is prefaced with Rancid, Diseased, Dried up, and ends with the bad word)

…in the passenger seat flips me off with her $90 manicured nails and enough diamonds on her fingers to make Xerxes I of Persia jealous.

I can’t stop myself, I safely signal and change lanes, I pull my phone out of it’s holster and snap a picture of them from behind.

NOW is when they get concerned that maybe, just maybe, they’ve pulled the wrong fucking guys chain. They speed off and I change lanes back to the slow lane to make the transition home.

You know, I just want to go about my life, It shouldn’t be an ordeal every fucking time I leave my driveway.

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This is one of the reasons that I’ve wanted to leave California for the last 5 years. I’ve actually wanted to leave this state for about the last 20 years but you make sacrifices for your significant other. The last 5 years however have made me want to be somewhere else I’m almost to the point of ANYWHERE else.

When do I get to go someplace that’s civilized?

I couldn’t help but think as I was finally heading home about that old saying “an armed society is a polite society” and that California is mostly disarmed now days.

Then there was the usual bullshit going up the I-15.

I’m going to get a sign to post in the back window of my vehicles, it’s going to read;

HEY DUMBASS!

It’s a simple rule…

SLOWER TRAFFIC TO THE RIGHT!

I finally get home. I’m hungry, spun-up and what should have been an hour errand at most, turned into a 3 hour tour. I think that’s going to be a new saying for me. “example, Then I was on a Gilligan – Something that should have been over far sooner than it actually was.

I’m pissed off and storming so I sit down at my computer.

Logic, rationality, and calmness are what I’m craving.

I click on my browser, I want to look at some settings on the blog and maybe read the news.

The computer locks up… again… I have absolutely no control…

REALLY??????

AAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

I need a drink!