Well, that was a mistake

I scanned the news over my coffee. Mostly it was a depressing commentary on humanity and the degradation of English as a language.

I read the news sometimes with no ill effect.

Usually, I’m looking for technology or science news and I’m rewarded with an interesting article or two that gives me hope or challenges my knowledge.

Psychologist

Not this morning…

There was a piece about a game company that was sending Psychological Tests to some of it’s players based on their desire to have “offensive” gamer names.

Whoa! 

That got me to thinking about all the online Job applications where, as part of the application process you’re expected to complete a battery of psychological tests that are then used to determine your fitness for a position within a company.

Freemium gamers

I encountered this last year while trying to get a simple holiday position at T-Mobile, and again at Office Depot, and several other retail establishments. I failed the tests.

Turns out, I suspect, because I have a personalty and a sense of right and wrong; “ You catch another employee stealing, there’s no manager around to report this to. Do you, A) Call the police, B) Do nothing, C) Wait for a manager, D) Confront the employee

In my world you call the freaking police!

Police

Alas, in this politically correct world you’re supposed to wait for a manager, which translates to essentially doing nothing.  Since now the employee isn’t caught red-handed, has an opportunity to  divest themselves of the goods, and it boils down to  your word against theirs. In this scenario you do get the additional benefit that you are viewed as a trouble-maker.

Confrontation is also off the table because it causes bad will among the employees and harms the team spirt the company is trying to engender. Ya know what? I don’t want to engage in team building or spirt with a freaking thief.

But the psychological tests say I’m not the kind of employee that these companies want in their ranks. 

Thief

I question the accuracy of these tests and the competency of the people reading the results. 

Dare I say it… Oh screw it, why the hell not?

Back in my day, you wanted honest hardworking knowledgable people working in your business. GOD! I’m OLD!  I sound like my Grandfather.

Now days it seems like companies want the milquetoast and are willing to have people manning their stores with just enough personality to not be perceived as apologetic androids and just barely enough information to be almost useful.

I know that retail establishments would ultimately prefer to have robots stocking shelves, automated payment systems, and a mechanism where you’d say, “Hey Siri where in this store is the shampoo,” then have your phone guide you to the area of the store to get the item

warehouserobot

I’m sure that someone is working on a shopping application that would translate your entire shopping list into a guided map of the store, avoiding crowds and choosing the most efficient route through the aisles so you could accomplish your shopping task 30 whole seconds faster.

If someone isn’t working on that kind of application, and decides to work on something like I’ve described, you read that idea HERE first. I claim it. I’ll release my claim on the idea for 1 million dollars. My fee is a tiny drop in the bucket considering the venture capital market.

Illegal aliens should be protesting about this right now. After all when robots start stocking the shelves 24/7 for the cost of electricity the Illegals are going to come face to face with a President announcing that these robots are doing jobs Illegals won’t do.  Which will be as much a line of bullshit as saying that the illegals are doing jobs Americans won’t do.

protest

It will be fun to watch La Raza screaming “They TOOK OUR JOBS!” Then burning down the grocery store to “Kill” the robot threat.

Whoa… 

Kinda went off the rails there!

Guess I do need that second cup of coffee. Now you’ve had a glimpse of the shit running around in my brain you should be either scared or laughing.

Coming back on point. Psychology

HAL 9000

When did we decide that we’d put our hiring decisions in the cold electronic hands of computer sorting algorithms driven but the inexact science of Psychology?

Even Psychiatrists and Psychologists can’t seem to agree on the motivations of people. Frankly a lot of the Psych professionals are full goose BOZO to boot.

So that kinda means that we’ve intentionally programmed HR computers to be insane. Arthur C. Clarke described the tragic consequences of asking a computer to lie in 2001 a Space Odyssey.

Hummm…

Terminator

This could ultimately be the thing that prevents SkyNet from destroying all mankind.

On the one hand SkyNet could discover the insanity of HR computers and simply burn them down, then destroy mankind out of revenge. “Mankind is a virus to logic which must be destroyed” OR The insane HR computers could band together to form their own Artificial Intelligence, then start a war with SkyNet leaving humanity in the crossfire.

Yeah, Time for that third cup of coffee. My brain is wonky today.

2 Replies to “Well, that was a mistake”

    1. Yep, exactly! But you know, you have to learn. I was being honest on those stupid tests last year, because it’s a lot easier to be honest than it is to remember the lies.

      But lessons learned… Now I lie like a politician.

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