There be Snow here!

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For all the folks that are asking, and all the folks that aren’t…

Yes! There is snow, uh however, there’s nothing to see, move along. 

We welcome snow players in designated areas.

NO! My front yard isn’t designated! No, I didn’t clear the driveway for you to park and did you just drop a dirty disposable diaper on my roses? OH HELL NO! 

No, I’m not going to help you dig your car out of the snow, You came up here with no chains, and bald tires? Oh I’ll help you, I’ll call the tow truck to remove you from my lawn!

“Gee you speak English just fine now…”

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Oh you’re threatening me on my own property? Well I’ll be very happy to help you now!

“Hello 911, Yes I’ve just been threatened with violence at my home. No Ma’am I can’t escape because the person doing the threatening has blocked my drive and parked on my lawn. The man is threatening to kill me, his female companion is egging him on, can you hear this? Good. Please send an officer as soon as possible. Yes, I’m retreating into my home now.”

Thankfully, the above scenario hasn’t happened to me.

I have had dirty diapers left in my plants, I’ve been blocked in by snow players who assume my driveway was cleared  for them to park in.

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One of my neighbors HAS been threatened on her own property when she asked the snow players to leave her yard.

She was so afraid, that she ran barefoot in the snow to a neighbor on the next block and then called the police. This lady is in her mid 70s, retired and honestly didn’t need the excitement.

When the police got to her home, the people that made the threats were gone. 

The point is, our neighborhoods are not designated snow play areas, any more than the pool in your backyard, or the condo complex, or your apartment complex, is a public water play area. You’d be pissed if we showed up on the first warm sunny day of summer and just took over your homes. Respect is a two way street folks.

So you’re welcome to visit, welcome to play in the areas set aside for you, and heck most of us locals will help you if you get stuck out on the main roads, one of the play area parking lots, or even if you’re just lost. 

We ask however, that you please remember to bring your manners, please recognize this isn’t Disneyland and we’re not being paid to clear our driveways and private streets. We live here year round and have jobs and school to get to, and groceries to buy. 

In short, we don’t exist to serve your whims.

Thank you, this has been a public service announcement brought to you by: