New smoke detectors in our future

This morning over a nice quiet cup of coffee. The remaining two smoke detectors in the house failed.

Busted POSs

Oh but they didn’t fail in a nice way, they failed and told me about it by going off full blast and not shutting up. (Why don’t these things ever fail gracefully. How about a beep pattern that says the unit had failed? Humm?)

I really do hate these things! In general I hate depressingly stupid machines, Protect me? Sure I’m up for that, but why not do it in an intelligent way with some fault tolerance and helpful warnings?

Let me give you the full scenario. I’d gotten out of bed and the house had been open all night. A nice cool breeze was  blowing occasionally through the house There’s no smoke, even though there are fires burning more or less local to the house. There is no smell of smoke and there was nothing cooking, no toast in the toaster, the oven wasn’t on, in fact no heat sources at all, except the life forms in the house.

It was a nice quiet morning, birds twittering in the trees, and I was enjoying watching the hummingbirds engaging in their morning aerial battles over the feeders. In short it was peaceful, and beautiful.

Then the ear shattering BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP at –120db began.

There is no way I can jump 15 feet in the air to yank these offending pieces of shit off the ceiling and they’re connected in a way that if one goes off, they all go off. So in short order every one of them is screaming and causing me intense pain. (My ears are still ringing)

A quick check around the house to determine if there might really be a fire confirms what my nose was telling me, NO FIRE!

Grab the keys, tromp down to the basement get the ladder and then…

I yanked the fucking machines off the ceiling!

I was not gentle. I was not kind. (BTW The ADT monitored smoke detector was, and is still mounted on the ceiling quietly saying nothing is wrong.)

Even after I yanked the fool machines off the ceiling disconnecting them from their external power source, they still screamed. I yanked the batteries out of them, and one had the audacity to scream even then.

It shut up with a satisfying BEEEoooow sound when it went crashing to the floor.

I am victorious! I killed the offending beast! GRRRRRR, I eyed the ADT unit daring it to make a sound. It was wise and remained absolutely silent.

Scared the poor dogs so bad they wet themselves.

After cleaning up the mess. I returned to my coffee.

New Hotness

So installation of NEST Protect units is on the agenda for today.

I’m hoping that they are built as smart as the advertisements say they are. In other words, I hope they can be shut up if they’re falsely alarming. It would be a pity for them to meet the same fate as their predecessors.

Well, that was more or less easy.

The NEST setup is interesting. You set the units up on your kitchen counter. In our case there is one for each bedroom and one in the hallway.

I set the hallway up first because it is the only one low enough for me to access the center button. (The Hall unit had failed many months ago and I’d already killed it. Which is why I only ripped two off the ceiling this morning.) 

The Hallway unit then linked the other two units, Named MasterBedroom and Bedroom to each other and presumably to the NEST Thermostat. 

About 1/2 hour of setting the units up, and 1/2 hour of unfucking the “Professional” electrician’s work and bingo, bango, bongo, I’m pressing the button on the hallway unit to tell it I want a full test.

“This is a test, please stand away from the Nest Protect, the siren is loud. Testing in 10, 9, 8,7,6…”

About  minute later, smoke and CO sensors each with their own sirens sounded, followed by a nice happy “All Clear” signal.

The thing says, “Finishing up… Everything is fine.”

That’s the way to do things!

Intelligent, efficient and polite.

I think I may actually like these machines.

Millennials- Get off your asses!

Open letter to the bratty, spoiled, self entitled, narcissistic, Whah Whah millennials

Grow UP!


Yes, we all see that you have a cell phone; who the hell doesn’t these days?

Yes, we see that you have friends (although obviously, they’re not friend enough to tell you that your wardrobe needs a serious overhaul) Spandex IS A PRIVILEGE NOT A RIGHT, you fat slovenly cow!

But these things don’t mean that you need to be standing outside any apartment much less MY apartment using your cell phone as a speaker phone and shouting into the poor device at 11:30 at night. I have absolutely zero desire to know that your friend’s boyfriend’s cock is too thin to properly fill your friends cavernous (obviously overused) rancid pussy. Equally, I don’t care at all that your friend doesn’t like to give her boyfriend head or that his cock’s one redeeming quality is that it is thin enough or curves in such a way that anal sex is easy and dare I say even somewhat enjoyable.

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I also don’t appreciate being called a “Perv” when I ask you to move along with your filthy conversation or at least have the decency to take the conversation off speaker phone so that I might get some damn sleep.

Believe me, you and your little skanky friend were far more perverse in broadcasting that conversation across the parking lot.

I realize that you might be hearing impaired from too many hours of looped synthetic rhythm tracks blaring into your head at -900db. It’s also possible that the subsonics may have damaged what little brain you might have been born with, however I think you should know;

I also don’t give a fuck!

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Too many millennials have demonstrated that they were quite possibly loads their mommas should have swallowed. Looking at you, makes me believe that abortions… even retroactive abortions should be legal and perhaps even rewarded!

Believe me when I tell you princess, your escapades or what pass for thoughts mean absolutely nothing to me, and I don’t care to hear about them.

What I do care about is getting some sleep so that I can go to work, pay taxes, and look forward to the new and interesting ways that you and your addled ilk will find to piss away the government handouts you believe you’re entitled to.

Of course you’ll be screeching about how oppressed you are and how unfair life is the whole time you’re standing in line to pony up $900 for the latest iPhone instead of paying back your college loans.

Here’s an Idea…

Shut up and get to work!

The rest of us really know what oppression looks like, and how it feels. We know that the tax code is unfair, and that huge multinational corporations are at least, posting obscene profits built on our backs, and at worst corrupt and in collusion with the governments of the world to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

Tell us something new sunshine! That riff is as old as the industrial age, possibly older!

You want to save the world? DON’T BREED!

We’ve known for 5000 years that if you breed bad stock with bad stock all you get is worse stock. Humans are no different. Breed shitheads with morons and you get shity morons good for nothing except leeching off of society and whining about how unfair it is that not every special snowflake is all that fucking special.


Get the hell over yourselves and contribute something!

We could start with your kidneys and work our work up provided you’re not too genetically inferior for even that purpose.

I suppose I dealt with one too many people today that wanted me to fix their self induced problem because the machines I’m supporting can’t think for them.

Believe me when I tell you, the day that machines can think for themselves, 99% of humanity is going to get plowed under. The remaining 1% will be in zoos, working in mines as slave labor, or on special game preserves where the machines can hunt our sorry asses for the thrill of choking the life out of a worthless human.

Learn something

Learn to drive, or to park, or to just learn to get the hell out of other people’s way. Stop buyng into the “I’m sooooo oppressed, or I’m soo responsible for oppression” bullshit. Ask yourselves this

Did you ever own slaves?

Did you personally massacre the Native Americans?

Did you swarm another country, suck it dry like a fucking parasite and then leave to find greener pastures?

If the answer to these questions is NO, then stop fucking complaining, clean up after yourselves and get with the program. Tweeting or Facebooking about problems isn’t solving problems.

You’re just buying into and propagating the mindset that keeps all of us shackled.

Get off your mom’s couch, put the fucking game console down, work your asses off and solve problems, in the real world.

Oh and before we elders sign off, STOP SLAMMING FUCKING DOORS!

There is no need for the rest of us to know when you come and go from anywhere. If you live in an apartment or condo, perhaps you should think about the fact that shaking the whole building every time you leave serves no purpose except to cause the rest of us to breath a sigh of relief that your gone and hope that you don’t come back.

A little common courtesy and respect for the other people around you might actually go a long fucking way toward the rest of us beginning to respect your lazy skanky asses. Not to mention actually listening to your opinions. Who knows? It might even bring a little peace to our societies.

Oh and just so we’re clear…

This is directed at ALL millennials, We don’t fucking give a shit what color you are.

Shoulder your burden, and get to fucking work!

The world revolves around it’s axis and the sun not you gigantic asshats!


The rest of us!

It’s Official, I’m bored with the internet


Back in the days of 3 TV channels we thought to ourselves, “If we only had more channels we’d never be bored”

Then we got 500+ Channels and found that often, there was still nothing to watch. We’d flip aimlessly through channel after channel hoping that something would catch our interest and then after 15 minutes or so we’d come back to channel one and keep flipping.

Then we thought, “If we only had movie channels we won’t be bored.” We got movie channels and got bored when the same movie was playing on each of those channels with a 2 hour offset.

Then the internet was opened to the public and virtually all the information on the planet was available.

How could we ever get bored?

Well, it’s happened.

I go all day at work without consulting the internet for much of anything. I might glance at the nastiness that Twitter has become, I might even read a linked article or two in the morning. While I’m at lunch I’ll check in to see if there’s any news from the world that’s of interest while I’m eating. But then I’m done with my meal and I’m outside walking.

The “News” is always the same these days.

Clinton did this, Trump did that. Black Lives Matter staged another protest, or shut down a business or freeway. ISIS claimed responsibility for yet another horrific abuse, CAIR claimed they’re part of a religion of peace while denouncing anyone who dares speak out against terrorists. Congress does nothing except sell our rights, our country, or the highest offices in the land to someone for some cause or another.

Celebrities often show the basest of human behavior, or demonstrate that McCarthyism may well have been 60 years too soon by espousing their political beliefs.

Real information is easily obfuscated by misinformation, conspiracy theories, and innuendo.

Our email is full of crap as well. ZIP files supposedly containing offers, invoices, or reports that we never asked for and that are nothing other than conveyances for malware or viruses.

I’ll grant you that when my virus protection goes off there is a momentary reprieve from mind numbing boredom for me.

That is only because the viruses have usually been backed up to my network drives while the virus scanner was asking me what to do. Funny, I’ve told the thing time and again to just delete the email the moment it detects a threat but it insists on asking me about it anyway.

In the intervening time between when my email program dutifully downloaded the attachment at 12 am and my getting out of bed, the backup routines have already copied the damn attachment to the backup drive.

So the hunt begins for me to delete all copies of the infection. That used to be exciting, now it takes all of 2 seconds of annoyance.

News organizations demonstrate poor reporting, poor fact checking, and bias to the point that they’ve, (in my o so humble opinion) become worse than the “Yellow Journalism” of the 1890’s.

It’s all become the same. The “cause de jour” has become the “cause de second”.

A billion voices all demanding that they be heard and that we support whatever “Cause” has captured their will-o-wisp, short attention span brain in the last five minutes.

All of the headlines and notions come at us so fast that we haven’t the time to evaluate their legitimacy before having to move on to the next subject or latest atrocity.

Oh, before you think the irony of me writing this blog, adding my voice to the billions of other voices is lost on me… It isn’t. I’ve not been blogging because there’s little left to say. I’ve nothing much of any substance to add to the cacophony, save this;

Maybe it’s time for us to turn off the machines for a while.

Try actually pulling your head out of your computer, phone, pad, or whatever else and look at the world around you.

Find an old book, and read it. I’ll grant you the pages aren’t likely to have dancing penises or jiggling tits, but the writer may have had something to say that has relevance to you, or our world today.

Just a thought…

Ya know, If this keeps up we aren’t going to have any police

After all why in hell would anyone want to become a police officer nowadays?


When I was younger, I was taught that the police station, or being with a police officer was a “Safe Space”

The police I knew were, in general kind and helpful. They were good guys who wanted nothing more than to BE good guys, protecting those who couldn’t protect themselves.

Crime existed, as it always has, but the police were trusted. They came to my schools, they handled crossing duty on the busy streets and they’d wisk you to the hospital if you had a bad bicycle accident.

They’d stay with you until your mom or dad got to the hospital and miraculously by the time you got back home with your parents, your bicycle would be waiting for you, damaged but there in your driveway.


They were respected and trusted individuals and more often than not they were our neighbors, we went to church with them. Their children were friends, and sometime cohorts in typical childish mischief.

In less than 45 years suddenly they’re targets and treated with suspicion or even outright hatred.


I’m sure that those officers who can retire are beating a path to the HR departments to get the hell out. 

The police are people. There are good officers and bad officers, generally more good than bad. We pay them to keep us safe so we don’t have to live in fear of an element that has always been in every society. Bad guys go to jail. Bad guys get their comeuppance and since we have a country of laws, they enforce those laws. After all, we agreed to live under those laws didn’t we?

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Many of the basic laws we hold to be true, are found in the ten commandments. Yep, that pesky religious thing again.

Thou Shalt not Steal

Thou Shalt not Kill

Thou shalt not bear false witness

Just to name a few 

So if you’re shooting at an officer, or you’re throwing bottles and rocks at officers there are a couple of things you should remember.

These men and women are your neighbors, They’re also your employees, and all humans regardless of uniform, race, or beliefs have the inherent right and more importantly instinct for self preservation.

Strip away the uniforms and training and you have a human. Why is it so surprising that cops shoot or fight back? 

Why are we surprised that the police are perhaps angry? After all they’re being betrayed by the very people they’ve sworn to protect, sometimes at great cost.

There have been moronic activists calling for and end to police in their communities. Lets give that a whirl… I’d love to see Chicago after a month of zero police.


The same activists calling today, for and end to police would be lamenting the unbridled bloodshed and rampant crime.

I can just imagine the change in tune:

I can’t leave my house for fear of being robbed, raped, pillaged, or having my house burnt to the ground by someone that had a grudge against me. I DEMAND Protection…


Then the national guard would roll in, who wouldn’t come from the area.

They’d be from all over the country and would have zero interest in supporting the community. Instead they’d be there to restore order, by force.

Chicago would be a wasteland. Picture Berlin after the blitz! But in that wasteland there would be peace.

I’d bet that if you asked any officer who’d been fired on in Dallas, if they saw the color of the shooter’s skin, they’d say, “No, all I saw was the muzzle flash from the rifle.I dove for cover and targeted the flash.”

If black lives matter cartoon

If we impose rules on the police that say,

You can’t shoot a black person even if they’re armed and shooting at, or threatening you,” then we’re going to have a lot of dead or wounded police, or just a lot fewer police. 

Oh and a little side effect is going to be that the police that remain will become hard & cold, no longer giving a shit about the community or much of anything else except survival.

That pretty much translates into a lot of shoot-outs at the OK Corral.

So to all you moronic activists out there…

Deal with your communities problems, check your anger as you have so often told everyone, “check your privilege,” engage with your police force and help them put a stop to the crime, welcome these dedicated men and women into your neighborhoods, greet them at church, and …


Just my 2 cents.

W. T. (bleeding ass) F. ?

James Comey

Just what the hell was that FBI press conference about?

Jame Comey might have shortened it by just saying, “Sure, Im The Clintons dildo, but I’m getting paid pretty well.

The entire country witnessed Lady Justice being raped by The Obama administration, The Clintons, the DOJ, and the FBI, again

Top secret

Comey said that they’d found evidence of top secret materials on unsecured servers. 8 items to be exact.

He also said that there were about 100 secret emails. That alone would have been enough to land my happy ass in an FBI holding cell waiting transfer to a federal holding facility while my lawyers prepared for my trial.

He admitted that Hillary’s server was less secure than services like gmail and Hillary’s servers didn’t have archival functions which services like gmail do.

That, as he went on is a violation of FEDERAL laws regarding the preservation  of government records. 

So let me get this straight…

Top Secret materials mishandled 
Secret materials mishandled
Lying under oath about the emails on multiple occasions to… Congress, no less!
Disobeying directives from the White House regarding email and acceptable accounts
Direct violation of archival laws

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Every single one of these charges, had they been made against anyone else, the FBI would have prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Yet when these charges are leveled against Hillary she gets a pass.

Comey then did something I thought I’d never see, and that frankly, made me think my head would explode.

He started making excuses for her!

Wait, WHAT?

That’s like making excuses for the Orlando Shooter or the Boston Bomber… 

“… well neither of these individuals understood the magnitude of their actions. They didn’t intend to actually break any laws…”

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I was watching this in chunks at work during breaks on my phone, probably just as well, because I’d have gotten really pissed off if I’d seen the whole thing at once.

Now that I’m in a calmer frame of mind, I find myself asking where do we go from here?

Will “The Hillary Defense” play in courts?

I was taught that ignorance of the law is no excuse.

Does this mean that if we average people choose to ignore a law we will be held blameless? IF that’s true, then why have legislators or law at all?

If I’m at my home in Kalifornia and Governor Brown’s thugs come a knocking asking me, “Do you have any high capacity magazines?” and I say, “NO” because I don’t remember if magazines meeting the ever changing definition of “High Capacity” are in the state or out of the state with family, will I be held accountable?

I can tell you now, the answer is; I’d be in jail.

Have I been unfortunate enough, to have lived long enough to witness the end of our country?


Have we finally reached the tipping point where Anarchy reigns supreme and the freedom of American citizens is bounded not by law, The Constitution, or The Bill of Rights, but is instead bounded by who you serve, feelings, and who’s side you’re on today?

Did America die? Is its carcass is rising like some zombie, a hollow shell whose appearance is that of America but is in effect a collection of pseudo imperialist, elites?

I’ve been wondering for a while if this is even my country anymore. 

Perhaps it isn’t

Happy 4th of July

I hope that everyone has a safe happy holiday.

For those of you working today…


I hope that you have a chance to spend time with your friends and family.

But most of all…


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