![\"IMG](\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/IMG_1009.jpg\" "\\"IMG_1009.jpg\\"")
I apologize for the poor photo quality, I was trying to catch a shot of this particular asshole as he ran away, like a little pussy!<\/p>\nWe are no longer the most aggressive assholes on the road.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve long been maligned for driving fast and aggressively. Those days are over my friends.<\/p>\n
The new titleholders are Tesla drivers.<\/p>\n
I apologize for the poor photo quality, I was trying to catch a shot of this particular asshole as he ran away, like a little pussy!<\/p>\n
His license plate is CAPMGMT he\u2019s an older white guy and this little financial parasite almost got an asswhuppin.<\/p>\n
Getting on the freeway in rush hour traffic. I\u2019ve just picked up my car from the dealership. The entrance ramp has one of those \u201c2 car per light\u201d stop \u2018em ups.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m car 1, he\u2019s car 2. the light turns green and I open it up to get up to speed, My left proximity alert flashes. This little prick has changed into the partial left lane that is narrowing to 1 lane\u2026 MY LANE and is passing me on the shoulder.<\/p>\n
I flip him off, then he darts in front of me and does a brake check. Little fucker! I stop, but my car is not happy about dropping from 60 to ZERO in 1 second. <\/p>\n
Perhaps it\u2019s that I\u2019m seriously stressed. Perhaps It\u2019s that I\u2019m tired as fuck. Perhaps I\u2019m just sick and fucking tired of the shitty San Diego drivers. But now we\u2019re stopped. I dump the seatbelt, flip on the hazards, take off my glasses and I\u2019m stepping out of the car on the thankfully empty entrance ramp in basically one move.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m gonna have me some Ass!<\/p>\n
Pussyboy sees my door open and guns it. He\u2019s driving one of those pig nosed Teslas (not even the expensive one) they\u2019re wicked fast off the line, I\u2019ll give \u2018em that.<\/p>\n
I get back in the car shut the door buckle up and gun it. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th flash by and I\u2019m on the freeway, I\u2019m not endangering anyone, pussyboy is weaving all over the place I\u2019m continuing in a lane, making reasoned maneuvers and signaling to change lanes. I\u2019m closing on him and he hits a clear space just as I do. He\u2019s accelerating away like a scared rabbit. <\/p>\n
Damn! That Tesla is impressive.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve got a 350 mile range even at these speeds. I\u2019m wondering if his rate of energy burn is messing with his driving range. I\u2019m still in \u201cComfort\u201d mode on the car\u2026 Fuck it! Lets play! I press the \u201cSport\u201d selector and it\u2019s like afterburners kick in. I\u2019m closing rapidly on this little piece of filth.<\/p>\n
He sees me coming and accelerates, I\u2019m seriously considering just pacing his sorry ass, forcing him to deplete his charge. Run him to ground and then ahem\u2026 \u201chelp\u201d him.<\/p>\n
We top excessive speed and are heading to ludicrous speed, (Thank you Mel Brooks!) then he backs off. There\u2019s traffic congestion ahead and he\u2019s telegraphing his uncertainty about which lane to choose.<\/p>\n
He can\u2019t decide where to go. (So much for decisive Capital Management.) His Tesla is bouncing off the lane markers as his indecision slows him down. I\u2019m even with him, I can see he\u2019s freaking out. I just smile in as evil a way as I know how.<\/p>\n
I mouth, \u201cYou\u2019re MINE!”<\/p>\n
He\u2019s looking at me and I see fear. Ahhhhh Balm to my tortured soul.<\/p>\n
He sees me raise the phone to take his picture, suddenly he skitters off the right and makes for the exit to another freeway. <\/p>\n
For a second, I think about following him just to work his nerves some more. <\/p>\n
Nah\u2026 <\/p>\n
![\"Black](\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Black-Sapphire-Metallic.jpg\" "\\"Black")
I take my foot off the gas, nice predictable deceleration begins I switch back to \u201cComfort\u201d mode and my 440 glides to ambient traffic speeds.<\/p>\n
His little pig nosed Tesla is definitely faster. But I\u2019ve got better tactics, a hell of a fuel reserve, and bigger balls<\/strong><\/em>!<\/p>\n So BMW brothers, we\u2019re not the top agro assholes on the road anymore. But don\u2019t fear, we\u2019ve still got tricks up our sleeves from years of avoiding the morons out to take a piece of us.<\/p>\n I\u2019ll be happy to get out of this shit hole. To do that required that I come home tonight and book a truck to move my shit.<\/p>\n For tonight though, our honor has been defended.<\/p>\n Drive safe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" We are no longer the most aggressive assholes on the road. We\u2019ve long been maligned for driving fast and aggressively. Those days are over my friends. The new titleholders are Tesla drivers. I apologize for the poor photo quality, I was trying to catch a shot of this particular asshole as he ran away, like … <\/p>\n