Lately I\u2019ve been dealing with isolation.<\/p>\n
Due to my work schedule, I\u2019ve been cut off from non-work interactions for about 3 years. In truth it\u2019s probably been longer than that due to commuting long distances to previous workplaces.<\/p>\n
This has led to a sense of profound loneliness and disconnection from the world. Most people are troublesome to begin with because they\u2019re wrapped up in their own issues. I know first hand how tough it is to look beyond your own stuff and think of a bigger picture.<\/p>\n
Inside my workplace, there seems to be a calculated effort to make sure that no personal connections are made. So at work, I tend to feel alone in a crowded noisy room.<\/p>\n
Being as old as I am, I don\u2019t recall that it was always this way. I have memories of knowing my neighbors, even if I wasn\u2019t talking with them every day. I recall clearly knowing that culturally speaking it was ok to go “borrow a cup of sugar\u201d and have a nice conversation with the neighbor next door. I clearly remember just walking up the block to help a neighbor with a project. You knew that you\u2019d be fed for your effort and you\u2019d have company, good conversation and the sense of accomplishment that goes with finishing something.<\/p>\n
As time went on, people became more mobile and honestly it was easier to isolate yourself from the community around you because that saved you the heartache of goodbye.<\/p>\n
Technological advancements have made it easier to be isolated from the community you actually live in, while at the same time giving you the illusion that you\u2019re part of a community online. The thing is, most of your online \u201cFriends\u201d have no skin in the game. If you\u2019re having a rough time in your life, it\u2019s unlikely that someone you \u201cknow\u201d from a thousand miles away is going to show up at your door with a plate of cookies and warm conversation.<\/p>\n
So in the midst of my rumination, and trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. The book\u00a0Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging<\/em>\u00a0by Sebastian Junger was recommended.<\/p>\n It\u2019s a quick read and is not a self help book.<\/p>\n It is however an interesting exploration of the differences between modern culture and our tribal beginnings. It also brings to light that rejection of “modern” culture is not a new phenomena.<\/p>\n After reading the book, then coupling many if not all of the concepts with my own life experience, I\u2019ve concluded that I\u2019m probably not as alone as I think I am. It\u2019s also likely that I\u2019ve been able to put my finger on what changed in my life and why I feel so disconnected.<\/p>\n I\u2019m not part of any particular group, more specifically I\u2019m not part of any\u00a0special<\/em> group.<\/p>\n Politically speaking I\u2019m mostly an independent. I\u2019m liberal\u00a0and<\/strong> conservative, and refuse to drink the kool-aid of any specific political party. I choose, instead to look at issues and evaluate each one. Based on it\u2019s merit, I may be \u201cPro\u201d or \u201cCon\u201d regardless of the prevailing political party\u2019s opinion.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t have any particular \u201cCause<\/em>“.<\/p>\n Many of the\u00a0Causes<\/em> today seem more fleeting than toilet paper in a stomach flu ward.<\/p>\n I\u2019m for smaller government, but at the same time don\u2019t believe that we should leave people in this country in the lurch. If anything I\u2019m becoming anti-foreign aid. That is especially true in light of my belief that we should not provide financial aid to our enemies, That leads us down a rabbit hole of defining\u00a0who<\/strong> exactly are our enemies.<\/p>\n I\u2019m generally speaking, for a lot less government involvement in the personal lives of citizens. Because of this, my alignment with political parties would be uncomfortable at best. As a result I generally keep my political opinions to myself.<\/p>\n I believe Black lives matter,\u00a0JUST like all lives matter.<\/strong> But when I look at the way in which that movement makes it\u2019s statements I can\u2019t help but think there\u2019s something else going on.<\/p>\n I\u2019d have a lot more respect for Black Lives Matter if<\/em><\/strong> the organization wasn\u2019t bullying people in the streets and was instead teaching folks in the inner cities that violence against each other was a problem. I mean the statistics tend to indicate while there are some bad police engaging in racially fueled brutality, the incidents of Black youth shooting, maiming, and killing each other is far more prevalent than issues with police.<\/p>\n If BLM was addressing those issues and seeking to find peace in troubled communities I\u2019d be far more likely to listen when they start pointing out problems with police brutality.<\/p>\n That doesn\u2019t mean, were I to witness a racially motivated issue with an Officer, that I wouldn\u2019t intervene. There are certainly officers who should not be officers and it is the responsibility of the citizenry to question and police<\/em>, the police.<\/p>\n Antifa is another group who is completely beyond my understanding. The reason is simple. They traditionally behave in a far more Fascist manner than the people they\u2019re railing against.<\/p>\n There was a time when the Gay community was also united in the same way. Gays were hated because of their \u201cperversion\u201d, then they were united by HIV because as a \u201cThrow-away\u201d subculture no-one was looking for treatment or a cure. ACT-UP coalesced to fight common enemies (HIV and Government sanctioned disposability) and were pretty successful at it.<\/p>\n Marriage equality was another fight that \u00a0united the Gay community. But those \u201cWars\u201d have devolved into occasional skirmishes. Research is ongoing, Marriage is legal, the skirmishes mostly seem to mostly be about wedding cakes now.<\/p>\n If someone won\u2019t bake a cake for you\u2026\u00a0Find another baker who will<\/strong>. It\u2019s a simple fucking equation.<\/p>\n I mention these groups as examples of groups who have found solidarity within themselves because they are united against something they see as oppressive and overwhelming.<\/p>\n Individuals, by their association with specific groups have the feeling of being the underdog in a righteous fight. In that, they are united by a sense of purpose, commonality, and community.<\/p>\n I think about things… I’ve never been one to just go along with the crowd. Oh sure, to parties, of course. But I\u2019m always among the first to leave if a party starts going south.<\/p>\n My particular problem seems to be that I\u2019m an outlier.<\/p>\n Whether by nature, choice, or life experiences, I’m always on the outside looking in. \u00a0When I connect with someone I go all in. I’m curious about them, who they are, and where they’re coming from. \u00a0That intensity, (alright intrusiveness<\/em>) can be unsettling for people, especially when they’ve up to that point, thought of me as reserved and circumspect. I can see their point. They wonder who the real me is.<\/p>\n I think I’ve been trying to answer that particular question all my life.<\/p>\n Am I\u00a0the good guy? The bad guy? Hero? Martyr? Criminal? Immoral? Amoral? Average?\u00a0<\/em>Or below average?\u00a0<\/em>Am I all of these, trying to fuse into one individual?<\/p>\n Now, at this point in my life I’ve begun wondering if it’s even a question I should even concern myself with.<\/p>\n Perhaps the best choice is to just let myself run without constraint or worry. Maybe that’s what being comfortable in my own skin is really all about.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Lately I\u2019ve been dealing with isolation. Due to my work schedule, I\u2019ve been cut off from non-work interactions for about 3 years. In truth it\u2019s probably been longer than that due to commuting long distances to previous workplaces. This has led to a sense of profound loneliness and disconnection from the world. Most people are … <\/p>\n