{"id":3186,"date":"2013-04-23T09:23:57","date_gmt":"2013-04-23T16:23:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/?p=3186"},"modified":"2021-08-26T18:29:38","modified_gmt":"2021-08-27T01:29:38","slug":"tuesday-morning-follies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/2013\/04\/23\/tuesday-morning-follies\/","title":{"rendered":"Tuesday Morning Follies"},"content":{"rendered":"

Cold wet dog nose poking into my left butt cheek.<\/p>\n

I roll over and try to ignore it, Dog sniffs my naughty bits, I’m more conscious, but still mostly asleep…  something in my brain triggers a sub process.<\/p>\n

Dog doesn’t bug me while I’m sleeping unless … Unless what….<\/em> UNLESS HE’S SICK!!!!<\/strong><\/p>\n

I toss the rest of the sheets off and leap out of bed.<\/p>\n

I’m still on auto pilot, brain not spun up to full function. Dog panting and trotting down the hall ahead of me. We make it to the living room, I grab the slider pop the lock and yank it open.<\/p>\n

There’s one tiny issue I’ve forgotten. As the door slides open, I realize my mistake, but it’s too late.<\/p>\n

\"IMG<\/p>\n

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP <\/strong><\/p>\n

The alarm system is screaming. and every other electronic device in the house capable of receiving mail, text messages, or phone calls is chirping, ringing, or vibrating.<\/p>\n

In the sudden cacophony the dog stops in his tracks, completely forgetting that he’s not feeling well.<\/p>\n

Emergency Protocol — Tech Interface – ONLINE <\/span><\/p>\n

Technological part of brain now fully functional… <\/span><\/p>\n

I tear around the living room furniture aka toe breaking obstacles<\/span>, to the alarm control panel.<\/p>\n

I punch in the disarm code. Panel stops beeping, reports disarmed…<\/p>\n

I check the nearest electronic device. <\/p>\n

4\/23 7:08 AM<\/strong><\/div>\n
BURGLARY ALARM. Proceed with caution.<\/strong><\/div>\n
Sensor: Living Room  Door (Zone 5)<\/strong><\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
I’m waiting for another message.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/p>\n

The message that says I’ve gotten to the panel quick enough and that I won’t be hauled out onto the lawn naked at gunpoint.<\/p>\n

Briefly I think I should pull some sweats on if the cops do show up. Then the message comes in. <\/span><\/p>\n

\n
4\/23 7:08 AM<\/strong><\/div>\n
Alarm cleared by Master access code<\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
I’m cool! No cops, no worries. <\/span><\/div>\n

\"IMG<\/p>\n

Dog curiously looking at me.<\/p>\n

Innocent face, “Dad, why are you being so weird this morning?<\/em>“<\/p>\n

“Go outside”, I tell him… I head to kitchen. Push button on coffee maker, head to bathroom relieve myself, grab shorts head back to kitchen.<\/p>\n

Ahhhh Coffee!<\/p>\n

Dog wants morning treat, and to play. Seems to think this new game is a lot of fun.<\/p>\n

Sometimes… Dog is a real bastard!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Cold wet dog nose poking into my left butt cheek. I roll over and try to ignore it, Dog sniffs my naughty bits, I’m more conscious, but still mostly asleep…  something in my brain triggers a sub process. Dog doesn’t bug me while I’m sleeping unless … Unless what…. UNLESS HE’S SICK!!!! I toss the rest … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Tuesday Morning Follies”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,10,9],"tags":[174],"class_list":["post-3186","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","category-modern-problems","category-technology","tag-technology"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3186","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3186"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3186\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10205,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3186\/revisions\/10205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3186"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3186"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3186"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}