{"id":14270,"date":"2024-05-13T21:09:37","date_gmt":"2024-05-14T04:09:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/?p=14270"},"modified":"2024-05-13T21:26:47","modified_gmt":"2024-05-14T04:26:47","slug":"super-not-funny","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/2024\/05\/13\/super-not-funny\/","title":{"rendered":"Super NOT Funny!!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" title=\"IMG_3271.png\" src=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_3271.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" border=\"0\" \/>So today I did the famous snake dance! This dance is listed under Exotic Interpretive Modern Dance, and the soundtrack goes something like, SHIT! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! OH SHIT!<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the background.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Jesse and I were walking in our usual area. There are a lot of critters out &amp; about, mostly lizards and a few very brave or very foolish ground squirrels. I call the squirrels brave or foolish because they\u2019ve taken to darting across Jesse\u2019s path sometimes only inches from his face.<\/p>\n<p>All of this is perfectly routine and normal. Jesse though doesn\u2019t hunt or try to hunt these critters like any dog I&#8217;ve ever had.<\/p>\n<p>After all, <em><strong>why<\/strong><\/em> would he do anything \u201cnormal\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>Instead of just running after a lizard or squirrel, he leaps. It\u2019s more like the pouncing of a cat. It looks like he\u2019s trying to anticipate where the critter will be then come down on top of the animal.<\/p>\n<p>If he misses then he leaps up again, and perhaps does some running after the animal then leaps again. This goes on for a while until Jesse decides that the animal isn\u2019t where he thought it was, or should be. Then he does this very graceful bounding move, easily clearing pretty high brush, to return to the trail.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" title=\"IMG_3294.png\" src=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_3294.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" border=\"0\" \/>While all of this insanity is going on, he\u2019s got this goofy laughing look on his face. It\u2019s actually a look of pure joy.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Given that he was a street dog there are a couple of things I can\u2019t break him of. One is anything edible along the trail is his. He will not give it up for love, money, or even another favorite treat. He will literally eat whatever he\u2019s found, then look at me like, \u201cI saw that other treat, now give it to me.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The second thing is that he can hunt for himself. He\u2019s killed lizards but apparently they\u2019re not to his taste. Last week he terrified a bird and chased it into the house.<\/p>\n<p>I was alerted to the situation because I heard Jesse slipping and sliding all over the floor. He fell a couple of times on the slick surface.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>The poor bird in its panic to escape, had slammed into the front window and stunned itself. \u00a0So now I\u2019ve got Jesse trying to lay claim to his \u201cnot quite dead kill.\u201d I\u2019m having to defend this poor bird from Jesse and he\u2019s very confused as to why I\u2019m messing with his prey.<\/p>\n<p>I really thought the bird was going to die from the stress. Its little heart was beating so fast it felt like a vibrator. The little thing\u2019s breathing was very fast and labored.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" title=\"IMG_3297.png\" src=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_3297.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" border=\"0\" \/>I wrapped it in a towel and took it out front into some peace &amp; quiet and warmish sunlight. I stood there holding the little thing wrapped loosely in the towel. I wasn\u2019t sure if it was going to die or not, but I didn\u2019t want it to die alone or become prey to something while it was trying to recover.<\/p>\n<p>After a time, it seemed to get better and stronger, it didn\u2019t fly away but did flutter to a convenient bush. Jesse was watching all of this from the rear deck and was not in the least amused.<\/p>\n<p>I relate this to illustrate that Jesse is very fast, and agile, in addition to his strength.<\/p>\n<p>Normally on our walks we\u2019re making enough noise that critters get out of the way. Even deer will usually bolt before we\u2019re close enough for Jesse to think he could catch them.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" title=\"IMG_3207.png\" src=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_3207.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" border=\"0\" \/>Were it not for the highway being so close to the northern edge of where we walk I\u2019d let Jesse run free after a deer sometime. My concern would be that he\u2019d chase a deer out onto the road and while the deer could probably clear a car, Jesse can\u2019t.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Once he fixates on something, he becomes very single minded about it and there have been times when I\u2019ve literally tied the leash to a tree. The leash is a 25ft long retractable. It\u2019s very strong but if he\u2019s pulling at its extreme length or worse leaping and running randomly trying to chase a deer it\u2019s very hard to control him.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Fortunately there are a lot of trees around. I\u2019ve tied my end of the leash around a tree more than once and simply waited until Jesse gave up. Sometimes that can take as long as 10 minutes and I\u2019d much rather the tree take the stress &amp; strain than my knees, arms, &amp; back. (Although it\u2019s a really dynamic workout.)<\/p>\n<p>Now that you\u2019ve got all the background\u2026 Back to the snake dance!<\/p>\n<p>Jesse saw a fairly large lizard run into a clump of bushes. He leapt, landed on the bush and started looking for the lizard. I&#8217;d seen the lizard escape and was in the process of swatting a hoard of small flying insects away from my eyes, nose, ears, &amp; mouth. Yes, I was being swarmed, the annoying pests were flying under my sunglasses and into every orifice.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" title=\"IMG_2260.png\" src=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/IMG_2260.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" border=\"0\" \/>At this point I saw Jesse running directly toward me. He was in pursuit of something which as my eye focused, turned out to be a long slithering creature. I only had one eye working at the time because a helpful bug had flown into the other one.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I began doing the snake dance thinking if this was a baby rattlesnake they\u2019d find my bleached bones out on the trail and Jesse would probably get distracted on the way back to the house, get lost, and we\u2019d both end up \u201cVanished\u201d&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Then I pictured what the row of houses up on the ridge could see but not hear. \u201c<em>Hey Mabel you should see what that guy with the dog is doing today\u2026<\/em>&#8220;<\/p>\n<p>At this point the litany of \u201cSHIT&#8221; gave way to laughter. I was laughing in part because of the insanity of the situation and in part because I\u2019d seen one of a pair of dull yellow stripes running the length of the snake. The snake went right between my legs, then disappeared.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float: right;\" title=\"mllateralismo.jpg\" src=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/05\/mllateralismo.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" border=\"0\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Jesse stopped chasing it and instead was looking at me like I\u2019d lost my mind. I don\u2019t think he could figure out if I was mad at him, and if I was mad why I was mad. In his confusion he stopped with his head cocked with an expression of, \u201cWhat\u2019s your problem?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Jesse had scared up a Striped Racer (Whipsnake), that was probably looking for a quiet place to shed its skin.<\/p>\n<p>The dull yellow stripe(s) I\u2019d seen identified the snake species, It\u2019s characteristic for a snakes coloration to get dull &amp; sometimes they\u2019ll take on a dusty appearance just prior to shedding. It\u2019s also near mating season for this species so Jesse might have interrupted someone\u2019s good time.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve got a Striped Racer that lives somewhere near the house. This particular Racer &amp; I cross paths several times during the summer months. I watch out for it so that I don\u2019t injure it with yard tools. I\u2019d prefer to have it living in the yard because it keeps insects and rodents under control.<\/p>\n<p>The first snake picture above, is of the snake that lives near my place. If you look closely you can see a bright yellow stripe. This snake had just finished shedding its skin in my rosemary bush. We startled each other one morning a couple of years ago.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve included a better picture of the species. Thanks to <a href=\"https:\/\/californiaherps.com\/index.html\">www.californiaherps.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Yes, I know this snake looks nothing like a rattlesnake. However, being partially blind due to one eye fighting to drown a bug, and the other eye tearing in sympathy, trust me, the brain interprets <em><strong>any<\/strong><\/em> long slithering creature as a poisonous critter worthy of summoning Saint Patrick.<\/p>\n<p>As we completed our loop and were once again on the trail where we\u2019d seen the snake, Jesse put himself crosswise on the trail so that I had to stop. He was looking around very carefully to see if the snake was still around. I was patient with him and found it interesting that he wasn\u2019t going to let me pass until he was sure the snake was gone.\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Oh before you think, \u201cWhat a good dog\u2026&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t delude yourself. Jesse couldn\u2019t give a rip about me\u2026 He just didn\u2019t want to get bitten. He\u2019s self-serving like that.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s not entirely true there have been a few situations where he\u2019s pointedly put himself between me and a threat. He earns his kibble, most of the time.<\/p>\n<p>Enjoy the mental image of my modern dance routine. Laugh all you want, I\u2019m still chuckling about it.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe I should get a GoPro and wear it anytime we\u2019re walking. That could produce some funny video.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>So today I did the famous snake dance! This dance is listed under Exotic Interpretive Modern Dance, and the soundtrack goes something like, SHIT! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! OH SHIT! Here\u2019s the background.\u00a0 Jesse and I were walking in our usual area. There are a lot of critters out &amp; about, mostly lizards and a few &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/2024\/05\/13\/super-not-funny\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Super NOT Funny!!!!&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[283,84,18],"tags":[284,188,223],"class_list":["post-14270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-around-the-neighborhood","category-bullshit","category-humor","tag-around-the-neighborhood","tag-bullshit","tag-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=14270"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14270\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14275,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14270\/revisions\/14275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=14270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=14270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=14270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}