{"id":13335,"date":"2023-10-13T13:20:48","date_gmt":"2023-10-13T20:20:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/?p=13335"},"modified":"2023-10-13T13:20:48","modified_gmt":"2023-10-13T20:20:48","slug":"dog-farts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/2023\/10\/13\/dog-farts\/","title":{"rendered":"Dog Farts!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"IMG<\/p>\n

Okay. In light of the Israeli Hamas war we need something lighter.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m totally on board with Israel carpet bombing Gaza and the West Bank. I don\u2019t care how many Palestinians are killed. For almost my entire life, Palestinians have been doing this shit and I\u2019ve had enough. No fucking mercy, No Prisoners.<\/p>\n

In honor of Hamas trying to declare a global day of jihad let’s talk about dog farts<\/span>. After all Dog farts are way<\/em> more important than Hamas or Palestine.<\/p>\n

This is a picture of the fart machine that I live with. When I snapped this photo he was sound asleep and farting continuously.<\/p>\n

We\u2019re talking farts that peel paint, they make your eyes water, and burn the hairs right the hell out of your nose. Insects flying through the cloud of gas immediately fall to the ground dead.<\/p>\n

He isn\u2019t bothered an all by the stench. A benefit of the way his nose is built.<\/p>\n

I on the other hand have no such biological adaptations, and am wondering if he\u2019s a Jihad dog. Saddam\u2019s nerve gas couldn\u2019t be much worse than the stench my sweet puppy emits!<\/p>\n

You\u2019ll notice he\u2019s wearing a bandana. That\u2019s because he was groomed the other day. I\u2019ve noticed a pattern.<\/p>\n

For a few days after he\u2019s been groomed, he has the foulest farts. I think it\u2019s probably because he manages to work the groomer(s) out of an excessive number of treats.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"TheI don\u2019t know if this is actual fact and the pup sure as hell isn\u2019t going to tell. He\u2019s a treat \/ cookie monster and people want<\/em><\/strong> to give him treats.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m looking for something that I can eat to balance the scales. Since the dog sleeps on the bed with me I want to produce farts that drive him out of the bedroom at 3 am!\u00a0<\/p>\n

Fair is fair!<\/p>\n

Maybe I need to find some baked beans an recreate the \u201cBeans\u201d scene from Blazing Saddles.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Okay. In light of the Israeli Hamas war we need something lighter. I\u2019m totally on board with Israel carpet bombing Gaza and the West Bank. I don\u2019t care how many Palestinians are killed. For almost my entire life, Palestinians have been doing this shit and I\u2019ve had enough. No fucking mercy, No Prisoners. In honor … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Dog Farts!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,166],"tags":[173,235],"class_list":["post-13335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-modern-problems","category-nature","tag-modern-problems","tag-nature"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13335"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13336,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13335\/revisions\/13336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}