{"id":11140,"date":"2021-11-09T11:54:54","date_gmt":"2021-11-09T19:54:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/?p=11140"},"modified":"2021-11-09T11:56:38","modified_gmt":"2021-11-09T19:56:38","slug":"from-here-on-out-all-my-clothing-will-be-gray","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/2021\/11\/09\/from-here-on-out-all-my-clothing-will-be-gray\/","title":{"rendered":"From here on out, all my clothing will be gray"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>It occurred to me as I was sorting my laundry that by separating the white clothing from the colored clothing I was engaging in systemic institutionalized racism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Even the laundry detergent instructions engage in this kind of oppression.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think too that all of my clothing should be uniform, a simple set of pants held up with a rope. After all, leather belts are not green, not PETA approved, and might be used to strap poor immigrants. Although I suppose a rope might be construed as another symbol of racism, given how ropes were used in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know, to avoid this, I&#8217;ll use a string or bit of twine. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My shirt will be a gray tunic not requiring any buttons.  Plastics being bad and all. I guess I could carve buttons if I really needed them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since leather is murder and its production requires cows whose flatulence contribute to the destruction of the planet I&#8217;ll strap the bark of trees to my feet, or perhaps I&#8217;ll use some of the piles of used tires in dumps, cut to fit my feet, instead of shoes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I can pad my footwear with 20 or 30 discarded masks that are prevalent in the streets, on trails, and in the forest these days. Since rope is a no-no perhaps I can use some bits of twine to affix my retreads to my feet as well. I&#8217;ll bet I could carve a Nike swoosh on the bottoms and retain stylishness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The nasty chemicals required to make clothing dyes hurt the planet too, so by going gray I can stop climate change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This ensemble will make getting dressed in the morning so much faster. I won&#8217;t have to pause to decide what I&#8217;d like to wear anymore. If there&#8217;s no choice then there&#8217;s no time wasted deciding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Laundry will also be much simpler, with no sorting of clothing, everything can just be carried to the creek behind my dwelling and I can hope for some trickle of water to be running. There are plenty of nice flat rocks to beat my clothing on and then I can hang the clothing on some friendly trees until they&#8217;re dry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>There will be times in the winter when the creek is frozen, and times in the summer when the creek bed is dry, so obviously I won&#8217;t even have to wash clothing then. I can just rub some of the gray dirt surrounding my dwelling on any offensive stains and I&#8217;ll look fresh as a daisy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I do hope no-one will be offended by my naked bathing in the creek (water dependent of course) Or when I&#8217;m lying out on a large flat rock allowing the sun to dry my skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&#8217;d never thought that being &#8220;woke&#8221; could be so simple. Or that my life would be enriched by total convenience and simplicity just by going woke. This is going to be bliss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I seem to recall China instituted a nice homogenous dress code and their people were very happy about it.  I&#8217;m sure we&#8217;ll be just as happily un-racist in our future. Oh, there is the slight problem of our dwellings. Well, I&#8217;m sure that our government will provide us all with a nice uniform gray, EPA approved paint for the purposes of ensuring community equity and consistency.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Maybe they&#8217;ll distribute approved paint with our mandatory physicals just before we pay our mandatory tithes while swearing and\/or demonstrating our loyalty to our masters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>Yeah, I woke up in a mood today! I don&#8217;t know why, perhaps I was having bad dreams or something.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It occurred to me as I was sorting my laundry that by separating the white clothing from the colored clothing I was engaging in systemic institutionalized racism. Even the laundry detergent instructions engage in this kind of oppression. I think too that all of my clothing should be uniform, a simple set of pants held &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/2021\/11\/09\/from-here-on-out-all-my-clothing-will-be-gray\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;From here on out, all my clothing will be gray&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[87,83],"tags":[181,212],"class_list":["post-11140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings","category-satire","tag-musings","tag-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11140"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11140\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11141,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11140\/revisions\/11141"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bone-in-the-throat.com\/Blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}