Category: Insomnia

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Ughhh! It figures! Crappy Nights sleep and I really need to be on the ball…

I’ve got an appointment with the accountant today to hopefully finish up the tax crap dealing with the other half and my filing.

I took advantage of the automatic extension afforded us by the disaster declaration caused by the blizzard this year. It’s a darn good thing, because the other half’s filing system and document storage leaves a lot to be desired!

But I spent the night tossing and turning and feel like absolute crap. My brain isn’t working worth a darn but this is one of those things that must get done.

IRS Logo

I had a lot of weird abstract dreams all night. But my computer is fully charged and hopefully the parts of my brain that aren’t working will be augmented by the device. Thankfully the machine fits nicely in my briefcase.

Later this week I’m going to have to pick up the snow blower, it’s in for repair and a tune up after 15 winters of hard use and being put up wet. The repair guy said it had the wrong size belt on it. I told him that was the factory original belt and he was surprised. He said that explained it, the belt was so worn and stretched that’s why the machine was smoking when you tried to use it. 

I didn’t explain any further, the snow blower was the domain of the other half and as has been established the other half was not particularly kind to machines. I’m pleased that the repair didn’t cost too much.

Apple event 1

Today is the annual Apple reveal of new iPhones and other hot desirable items to populate the Christmas wish lists of millions. I usually watch just out of habit these days.

I’ll be watching the event today because I want to see what my options are for a new iPhone. My current phone is getting long in the tooth, It’s to the point of replacing the battery or replacing the phone. My phone is 3 generations old. I’d like an improved camera, and I’d like to have USB-C connections across all my devices. I’d like the satellite SOS ability and crash detection.

All the above features are available on last years model (except the USB-C). I’m curious to see what this year’s model brings. Tim Cook will once again be Captain Obvious with his proclamation, “This is the best most advanced iPhone we’ve ever produced,” uh yeah Tim, that’s the nature of technology… Moving on!

The USB-C connection is a pretty sure bet. Other hardware & software features may be announced that have not been leaked. All of this will influence my decision, “New Phone vs. New Battery”.

I’m also hoping that Craig Federighi does most of the presentation this year. I really don’t enjoy all the “Diversity” players because they’re just not exciting.

Federighi is electric and his playfulness and enthusiasm come through, even if he’s presenting dry specs and figures. He’s a fun presenter and somehow he always makes you hold your breath when he starts a live demo.

I guess I see it because I’ve done my fair share of live demos where it was entirely possible for the thing you’re demonstrating to fail right then and there. He apparently has done his fair share of demos where everything went wrong. He telegraphs that tension and makes it fun, it’s a “We’re gonna have an adventure…” feeling.

I’ve always gotten the impression that if a live demo went to absolute shit… Craig Federighi would somehow find a way to laugh, reset, and try again without missing too many beats. Federighi could almost convince me to upgrade my phone every year. 

That being said, there have been some comments associating his rise to SVP of Apple Engineering to the decade long slip in software quality across IOS, & MacOS. I don’t know if there’s a cause / effect connection or that the level of complexity in the software has caused the problem.

Personally, I believe that the issues have been, if not injected, then exacerbated by the rise of too much automated testing and not enough human eyes on the software until after it’s released. In the back of my mind, there’s a thread that questions if some of the problems aren’t based in diversity quotas.

When you hire someone based on anything other than their ability to build a product, you’re inherently degrading the final product. That’s not racist or sexist… That is simply a mater of fact.

Another of the dirty little secrets the diversity crowd would like to keep hidden and that no body is supposed to think about.

I’m not super thrilled with the expense of a new phone, but if there are sufficient improvements from my model to this one I could be moved to spend the money. Having USB-C is almost enough for me to plunk down the cash, on its own merit.

I’d like having only ONE cable and one charger for all my devices. So long as all my devices are smart enough to limit the charge current so that they don’t damage themselves. There aren’t many things I agree with the Europeans about, but de-cluttering my wall outlets, power strips, and the knot of cabling in my briefcase is one thing I heartily agree with.

Anyway, we’ll see how all this goes. I may be ordering a new phone soon. 

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One of those nights…

I’m tired but not able to sleep.

I was sorting some of his music and there’s something about seeing his handwritten notes in books that he played from every week that makes me feel blue.

I’ve been packing up things that I won’t be needing. DVD’s CD’s and their players since all the movies are streamable as is the music. I’ve been considering packing up the ethernet switch and relying on WiFi only. The switch handles all the CAT-6 cable connections throughout the house. Removing it would disable all the wall sockets.

The new computer, and iPad have the latest WiFi radios and provide more than acceptable speeds wirelessly.

The goal is to have all the tech that can or will be shipped boxed. There are a couple of items of tech that I’ll be transporting with me, so that I have them ready to use when I get wherever I’m going.

The same is true of kitchen appliances / utensils / glasses and dishes. I might not be actually taking these things with me, but I don’t have to have them occupying space, especially if I’ve got little need to use them.

I hope to have both the cubbies in the dining room empty by the weekend. It’s hard going through all the materials.

Some of the paperwork is more than 7 years old and once I’ve figured out the date, I’m pretty quick to put stuff on the shred pile. The trouble is that old and new are mixed in a jumble and that jumble isn’t sorted in any way. I’ve been sorting in a gross way. “Banking”, “Utilities”, “Paystubs”, and “Other” if the paperwork passes the initial date check. Doing a subsort of each major category is easier and provides a little crosscheck. For example, all the utilities end up sorted by provider and date.

I see some banker’s boxes in my future where all of this stuff can be filed and properly stored.

This all sounds like it’s a tedious time consuming mess. It is. However it must be done because there are still taxes to be filed and paid.

Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean the fucking government isn’t making your shit someone else’s troubles.

I really do hate the government. State and Federal, they’re parasites of the worst kind.

The dog has gone to bed. I’ve poured myself a second drink. I’ve become very much aware that my writing has suffered over the past year. I was reviewing some of the blog posts I’d written going back a couple of years.

It wasn’t advanced narcissism, I was looking for a piece I’d written a while ago. I haven’t found the piece, but I did notice a distinct difference in my writing. The time at the shithole company in San Diego, plus my concern about the other half, and all the other stresses in my life are visible in my style, choice of words, and even subject matter.

I need to write my way through the darkness. I need to get back to the quick turn of phrase and making my point.

For someone who has hated politics all my life, I’ve dedicated considerable keyboard time to it. I’m honestly not sure what that is about. I’d like to think I have something of interest to say, but I don’t think that’s entirely true.

The more likely truth is that I reached an age where I was able to compare the political system that I grew up understanding and being taught, with the system as it is today. In that comparison, either I’ve discovered significant differences or lost my naïveté.

I’m not sure which, if either is true. I only know that there are serious differences. Those differences have caused a dissonance that I’m having a hard time resolving.

I don’t think of my sudden interest in politics as fear, or white nationalism, or whatever else the SPLC might come up with. I’ve always believed there was a certain low level corruption in the political system and that corruption was held in check by there being more honest people in politics than dishonest ones. But now I’m faced with corruption that I can’t ignore and questions that are not being answered despite investigations and inquiries.

As a citizen, I believe that I deserve answers. Moreover, I deserve to see these bad actors perp walked out of the halls of power and into the halls of prison.

I’ve also come to believe that it’s a very good thing I’m not holding my breath.

I found a printout of a series of messages that the other half had with an artist friend of ours. Time flies! The other half was inviting our friend over to have a three way. I remember the night well and blogged about it too.

This is the first time I’ve seen the messages that led up to the three way. It appears that the other half had absolute faith that I could handle both of them. It was his overselling of my skills that led to me being somewhat annoyed at the other half because there is only so much sexual gymnastic magic I can perform in a night.

Nonetheless, reading the message thread and remembering that night put a smile on my face.

I could use a little human tough right about now, but I’m not into being with complete strangers. I really want to get to know someone before we’re having sex.

It was a really good night!

I suppose in the near term I’ll have to be content with the large selection of X-rated movies. It is extremely unlikely that I’ll find anyone close at hand who would like to develop a friendship prior to getting naked.

It’s time to go to bed.

I hope you’ve had a better night’s sleep than I have.

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Wildfire Season

Wildfire

Awake at 3:00AM

At first I’m not sure what woke me up. As I lay there my awareness expands.

The house is silent, as is the neighborhood. The sound of crickets is normal, and the oppressive heat of the day has abated.

There’s a coolish breeze blowing through the open windows. The dog is sleeping, I can tell by his snoring he’s probably laying on his back under the breeze from the ceiling fan.

Completing the evaluation of my immediate surroundings I notice there’s the scent of smoke in the air.

From experience, I know it’s the smell of a brush fire. The smell isn’t strong, nor is it the same smell that is present when the fire is close.

Somehow this smells “cooler” like it’s traveled a distance.

It is strong enough that it woke me. There hadn’t been any smoky smell when I went to bed.

Instinct is interesting. We think of sleep as “Turning Off” but that’s not really true. It’s just a different state of awareness. Somewhere in the deep primitive part of our brain there’s something monitoring our surroundings. An odd sound, light, or smell triggers a primal response.

That response in my case is accompanied by a hit of adrenaline that says, “Get your ass moving!”

The smell is strong. Apparently, it was enough to trigger my alert system. I can see the sky, and the stars clearly. I know there’s no smoke in the air, or rather not enough to obscure the sky. I roll over and try to go back to sleep.

I can’t.

The evacuation inventory list is playing in my head. What to take, what to leave, exit routes, and all the rest.

Eventually I can’t not think about fire.

I get up, wake the computer up, and start checking the Cal-Fire incident site.

The nearest reported fires are miles away, they’re 98% contained. The next nearest fire is in Hemet, 50 miles away so that’s not a threat to me. Although I note that two people  lost their lives. That’s bad. I don’t know the circumstances they were in but it reenforces my belief that if there’s a wildfire I’ll run, I’ll grab the dog, and what papers or sentimental items I can, and the rest can burn.

Anything can be replaced except your life and the lives of your loved ones.

For me though, tonite the damage is done. I pour myself a drink and write this blog. It’s going to take a while for the adrenaline to leave my system. 

Until then I’m not getting any sleep.

I hope your night was more restful.