When it rains it pours… And speaking of rain…

This week has flown by and not in a good way. It’s not been a bad week either just full.

The original plan was to edit and write.

I’d planned to have my car serviced.

While the car was having it’s fluids changed I was going to go to a friends place and see about getting my fluids drained. Both of us could use a nice long session of sweaty naked ugly bumping. Me and my friend, not me and the car… although i suppose we could bump uglies IN the car hummmm sounds kind of fun. I’ve got a squeegee and the leather seats would clean just fine.

That’s not happening this week.

Soldier generic pic getty images 148013242 SM

My Godson is home from the military and I wanted to spend some time with him. He’s a different young man now. The changes I’ve seen, are good ones. I’m absolutely sure that he’s going to continue growing into a fantastic man.

Surveillance cameras

One of my best friends had a little incident at his business. The incident was captured on the surveillance system and you’d think that getting the video off said surveilance systems would have been cake… So I opened my mouth and said yeah sure when I got asked to pull the video.

I found out quite by surprise that my friend was in the hospital when I got to his business. Needless to say I was worried but my Godson was at the hospital with him so I figured the best thing I can do is get the video so it’s one less thing for them as a family to worry about.

This is an example of the typical story of my life. Getting the video was anything but easy. It took two computers. The one that I was able to successfully use to get the video was my netbook.  I’m not complaining because it worked.

It was a lot like pulling teeth with a pair of rusty pliers in a barn, with the zombie apocalypse happening while you have explosive diarrhea.

The netbook has a processor that is about half as fast at the processor in my smartphone. And my netbook only has 2Gig of memory… Can you say SLOW? “Good children, I knew you could.”

Techie digression… Non Techies, well I’d suggest you skip ahead a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, My Netbook is more than enough for email, the occasional word processing document and surfing the web. But this application was pushing at the fringes of it’s ability.

The single most annoying thing was that the manufacturer of the surveilance unit goes to great lengths to tell you ON thier web site and in their manual that they write the video in H264 format. This is pretty much an industry standard and my Mac has all the stuff necessary to read this format directly.

What they don’t tell you is that you can’t do something as simple as plugging a drive into the USB port on the side of the surveillance base station and say Copy this file, or copy from this time index to that time index. Nope they make you view the event through their web interface or through their application. BOTH of which require Windows and that you either BUY a 3rd partys software or that you find a time limited freebie to actually COPY the video that you see.

Personally I HATE with a passion a vendor that says here’s our software… Then when you load it they tell you it’s necessary to load something else from another vendor.  If you’re like me and your goal is to keep the amount of changes to your operating system to a minimum then that kind of makes their software useless doesn’t it? Unfortunately there was no other alternative.

Now I have to clean up two machines instead of one. My windows XP machine and my Netbook both have this vendors crap software and the 3rd and 4th party software on them. Grrrrrrr!

The Win XP machine kinda worked but the image was doubled and the color was all wrong. There was no error per se… The system thought it was doing everything correctly and If I hadn’t checked the file I’d have said “Done” then delivered something completely useless. Which led me to using the Netbook and Windows 7.

The added frustration was that the surveillance unit isn’t on a network. It will be! I guarantee that! I had to create a private network with fixed IP addresses and  a small switch. Not a big deal unless you have to keep switching IP addresses in Windows so that you can talk to the Internet and then talk to the private network and then back again because the 3rd party software you’ve had to download doesn’t actually download everything you need until you’re actually installing it.

Techie Comment… Non Techies skip this or you’ll start bleeding from your eyes.

Windows can become a stone bitch when you’re messing with IP addresses. XP practically demands that you reboot every freakin time you change an IP. (Yeah, I know it’s not every time but it’s inconsistent enough that you might as well reboot. All us techies just love ipconfig telling us the ethernet adapter can’t obtain an ipaddress.)

After battling with getting the files onto my computer I figure I’m home free. The files are converted to AVI in the process of saving them to a hard disk. WRONG Wouldn’t you know it, the CODEC for AVI playback is either not installed on my friends machine or the files are in an almost but not quite AVI format. (Hair Pulling, grumbling, Grrrr.)

So I play the video on my Mac, it’s grainy but it’s the same quality that you get watching the surveillance monitor live. The problem is that I’m playing it for My friends wife and she’s noticing things that I thought nothing about. Suffice it to say these are things that she’s going to have a discussion with him about. Folks… You really need to tell me if I’m supposed to edit your video content!

It’s a classic reminder that stepping into an office to scratch your balls, rearrange your tackle, or flat rub one out…. DON’T forget to check for nasty little cameras.

220px DVD Video bottom side

As I’m writing this, my Mac is humming away writing all the video to an industry standard DVD. And before I deliver the DVD I’m going to test it in every player I have here at the house. I’m really wanting to get this project off my plate.

I guess I need to make sure that none of my porn collection got built into the DVD too… Hummmm.

I’m about a week behind in the hard copy editing of the book. So I really need to focus on that.

We’ve got a storm coming in over the weekend that is supposed to drop a foot of snow or more on us but the weather reports are confllicting. I’ve gotta batten down the hatches just in case.

Then last night… I’m getting ready for bed and my Muse scratches his fingernails across my brain. It’s essentially the same sound as fingernails on an old style blackboard but LOUDER!

So at 12:30 am I’m at my computer writing a short story. I finally got to bed at 3 am, I’m having a slow start to my day but I like the short story. It needs a couple of tweaks but i was pleased overall with the result.

So today, I’m going to be busy with laundry, poo patrol cause it needs to get done before the rain, snow or what ever. Maybe if I’m really lucky… I can tend to draining my own fluids.

Nahhh I won’t be that lucky!

Off to get the rest of the day started.

Sometimes my clever plans… shoot me in the foot!


I was working on continuity in a book I’m trying to write. I moved a chapter or two around and thought nothing of it…

Then I went back to work on those chapters and found that the contents have evaporated into the ether. Damn!

I was just mildly annoyed, I’ve got at least a couple of backups and so while there might have been some data loss it’s not much.

This led me to rethink a couple of things about the book and the way that I’ve been writing it.

I’d started out writing this as pure smut. But as I’ve written, the characters have become more than automatons and I’ve been looking at their motivations. This has inevitably led to a story. The sex is still there and exciting, but the characters are more engaging now that they have a backstory and can stand alone without the backdrop of wild sex.

I’m working now to stabilize the material that I have and then move forward by enhancing the characters motivations and better explaining how each one got from point A to point E by way of B,C,& D.

In all I think the story will be richer and more engaging.

As a close friend of mine has reminded me “Writing is Editing…

As a break I was out in Palm Springs last night at the first meeting of a newly formed group. There was a nice flogging demonstration and another demonstration of an updated violet wand.

Both demonstrations were instructive and I appreciate the demonstrators and the demonstratees!

The line of people forming to BE flogged was gratifying.

DSC 1089

My ego was also stroked a bit in that I was hit on by several people wanting to submit to whatever I might consider pleasurable. I love willing subs!

I was far too interested in improving my flogging technique by observing the demonstration to actively pursue any of these generous offers. Perhaps I will accept an offer or two at the next event. I am looking forward to the next event, it was nice to be in a room with so many like minded individuals.

I’m still surprised that I’m coming across as a “Daddy, Dom, Top, Master”. No, I’m not complaining I’m just fascinated, I’m not sure that I’m experienced enough to formally “Wear” these appellations. Then again maybe these titles are representative of who I am now and are well deserved. Time alone will tell, I can say that for the first time in my life I’m unafraid of those titles and the responsibility that they imply within the confines of the BDSM community.

How does all of this tie into the book?

Well there is a component of the book that deals with this alternative expression of sexuality.


A wonderful day for the GOP

Amy Koch and Greg Davis…. She was having an affair with a staffer, He was buying stuff at a gay sex store with tax payers money!

Both sure weren’t practicing what they preach.

Both had whipped up panic about how marriage would be destroyed by allowing same sex marriages and yet…

So gentle reader, what lessons are we learning?

How about the simple lesson that everyone deserves to share equally in the American Dream including marriage to the person of their choice regardless of gender…

Because we are all just as likely to fuck up our lives.

Psycho Babble


I caught an article in The Huffington Post this morning about Anthony Weiner and thought “OH for God Sake”

In this article a several Psychologists (all female) were spouting psycho hoodoo explanations about why Weiner cheated.

Dr. Robi Ludwig I think came closest to touching on the truth. when she said; “Cheating for the man is about excitement, building up their ego, enjoying the chase and just plain mixing things up!”

I have a some questions.

1) Why is it ALWAYS dowdy women Psychologists being interviewed? (although In this case all three are pretty hot looking )

2) Why is it always assumed it’s the Mans fault? Why couldn’t it be that his wife just isn’t interested in sex?

3) Why does no-one EVER consider the possibility that the couple in question has an arrangement?

4) Is ANY of this OUR business?

I think it’s worth noting that many women are very sexually attracted to “bad boys”. I have been hit on frequently at happy hour events if I’m wearing a ring. And even more so if I’m a little scruffy around the edges.

I think at minimum that there are two issues going on here. First, the women are bored in their love life and they want to shake things up too. It’s likely that their husbands are just not bothering to take the time to make them happy (sex as a duty instead of a lot of fun). Second the old cliche is true, if a guy is wearing a ring, he’s safe, he’s not going to show up with flowers and candy and throw her nice neat life into a tail spin.

My point is, women cheat too and while they’re caught far less often they’re right there getting naked with a stranger JUST like men. And Thank God for bored wives!

Why do men cheat?

The thrill of the Hunt

We DO love the thrill of the hunt, I’ll grant you that. Of course our society today and many women in particular seem to think that approximately 1.8 Million years of genetic predisposition to hunting can be cancelled out by a mere 10,000 years of so called civilization. WRONG!

Variety vs boredom

Getting nasty with someone different JUST feels damn good. A different person means different technique, different sensations and smells and that just ADDS to the excitement.

Without spilling the beans and losing my MAN card… Guys will put their dicks in just about anything. It’s not because we’re perverts (N.O.W.’s screeching notwithstanding) It’s because we’re curious about new sensations. “Hummm what does that watermelon feel like on the underside of my dick? what would it feel like to have (Insert Celebrity name here) lick the juice from my balls?”

I don’t think its any different for men or women. We all get bored in our sex life. Sometimes one partner isn’t interested in mixing it up or trying something new. If that goes on too long, the adventurous partner has three basic choices.

1) Live with that particular kink unfulfilled

2) Discard the current spouse and find someone that WANTS to play more adventurously

3) Keep the spouse and find a little fun on the side.

I doubt seriously that option 2 or 3 are executed on the spur of the moment. Most often option 1 is the choice because it’s the simplest, easiest, and safest. But year after year of boring sex and the viability of options 2 or 3 increase exponentially.

When your spouse ONLY wants to fuck in the missionary position and refuses to even consider something new it’s pretty damn easy to find someone that’s up for a little adventure. As a man, I can tell you it becomes almost an imperative.

As an aside, there is also such a thing as TOO MUCH. If lovemaking becomes a tour de force of “marital aids” where each device is more technical than the last. Or when a good old Saturday afternoon fuck becomes a 1 hour preparation for 30 minutes of sex, well then the equation is unbalanced and it’s probably easier to go to the garage and jerk off.

Some of the devices sound like you’re working in a wood shop. I don’t know about you, but for me, spontaneity is completely ruined when I’m looking for fucking batteries in the kitchen drawer to fire up a toy that sounds like a wood chipper.


Adults can enter into arrangements. It’s possible that due to poor health, or growing apart ( but staying together for the kids) that a couple would simply agree to sexually go their separate ways. These arrangements are more common than you might think.

I’ve personally known two couples dealing with cancer. In couple A the woman had cancer and was undergoing a variety of very harsh treatments and surgeries. Couple B it was the man undergoing the treatment.

Both of the cancer patients Gave their spouse permission to find someone to see to their sexual needs. In fact both of the cancer patients even suggested a person that might have been willing to fill the bill, from a circle of their closest friends.

This in my humble opinion is about love not perversion or cheating.

I’ve been living in an open arrangement for the past two decades. Were I confined I’d have gone insane. I’m sure that I’d also have been cheating. As it is both of us are allowed to enjoy ourselves so long as we practice safe sex and don’t wave it in each others faces. Arrangements work if both parties have a clear sense of boundaries.


I think that monogamy is an un-natural and unrealistic construction. It’s about control and probably was about keeping women in check. After all the men were out and about and what happened on the hunt, or on the raid, or crusade STAYED there. Dudes aren’t likely to come home and tell each others wives, “Richard raped his way through the holy land m’lady he was an animal”

I don’t think monogamy is natural for humans in general and certainly not for me in particular.

In the Whoa! category

I also have begun to wonder about our societies treatment of men and male sexuality. It’s pretty accepted that men are more about sex than women. So on the one hand we acknowledge this and at the same time denigrate male sexuality as some kind of “condition” comments like “he’s testosterone poisoned” show up in comedy routines pretty often.

Most men’s best friend is their dick. Men shouldn’t be made to feel bad about wanting to use their dick. We shouldn’t be embarrassed about jerking off as boys or adults, we’re acting according to our nature. We’re visual and we like porn. so what? It’s not wrong and the actors / models get paid for their work. WHY do we call that exploitation and all too often castigate men in general for enjoying what it’s in our nature to enjoy.

Repression of natural urges is not a good idea, for men that repression often shows up in other less desirable ways. Why don’t we all agree to accept Male sexuality as a normal thing and stop acting like it’s bad?

I’m not condoning cheating per se

Part of being a man is living up to your commitments. If you committed to your spouse that you wouldn’t cheat then you really must live up to that commitment.

At the same time you and your spouse committed to meet each others needs. If either of you break that commitment then frankly all bets are off.

I just don’t think it’s any of the publics business. I sure as hell wouldn’t want my dirty laundry carted out in the national press. Which brings me to another point.

The media needs to stay out of celebrity and politicians bedrooms.

Who is fucking who is NONE of the publics business. We’re becoming a nation of voyeurs. We need to get our fat asses off the couch, go fuck our spouses, and GET OUT and LIVE OUR lives.

We all need to stop living vicariously through celebrity news, and reality TV. Go do something in your own life!

Getting out and moving is especially important for Men.

DUDES I hate to tell you this, but all the good living here in the United States is fucking us up. Go out and check the testosterone levels over the past 30 years or so. There’s a substantial trend down. Which means prostate cancer is up, sterility is up, and less than hard erections in young men are becoming the norm.

You can combat this trend by eating less junk/processed food and by WORKING. I’m not talking your 9 to 5…

I’m talking getting out an mending fences, or playing football with your kids, or working out. Do anything that engages your mind and your muscles and you’ll be healthier in general and your cock and balls will thank you.