Category: Gay / Straight

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The problem with 3 ways, someone is almost ALWAYS selfish!

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By now you’ve all figured out that I’m a contradiction.

On the one hand I’m somewhat conservative, on the other hand, in some areas I’m uhh… adventurous. “Yeah that’s a good word I’ll stick to it.” There is rarely a clear cut predictor about where I’m going to come down on any particular subject.

Love it or hate it my reactions are almost always “Interesting”.

Recently, I met someone who is interesting and adventurous and we ended up in a 3 way with my partner of many years. This isn’t the first time and likely won’t be the last.  This time however, I was in a position where I was a little more disconnected than usual.

A good time was had by all (I hope) but one of the things I noticed was that in a 3 way there is no room for selfishness.

The absolute best 3 way I’ve ever been in was a situation where everyone was all about giving and enjoying the pleasure of giving. This was in my very early years and I naively thought, “sex would always be like this.”  In that situation, not only should the “Needy” not apply… They weren’t allowed to apply.

This more recent situation was a bit different, and once again I was the one forced into trying to keep all the balls in the air. Ahem so to speak.

The point is, a 3 way can be really awesome for one, two, or all three of the parties involved. But one should always be mindful that sharing is important. You shouldn’t allow a situation where only one of the parties is catering to the wants and needs of two of the parties exclusively.

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Ok so you want something inserted… Great! How about remembering to give a comforting touch, or a kiss to whatever part of another person you can reach?

How about remembering that the person driving the two massive latex instruments of insertion now, no longer has a hand free.

How about appreciating that the “driver” here might be using both hands, and a thigh and a knee to bring pleasure to two of you but that the “driver” might be completely off balance and while they’re enjoying watching you squirm, they might also like a little help with balance, particularly if you’re thrashing all over the place.

How about remembering that this act of gymnastic legerdemain might be very uncomfortable and should be rewarded with a comforting hand or mouth, and that it’s in your best interest to keep the practitioner of these gymnastics engaged and intensely pleasured so that they are able to more easily forget about the cramping and joint pain they’re experiencing.

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You’d think that all these things would be self evident.

Even if they’re not, you’d assume that when one of the people who happens to be tied up, comments on the gymnastics with surprise and lust shining brightly in their eyes. That the other participant might decide to discontinue being selfish.

Alas, your assumption would be wrong, such was not the case.

In retrospect it’s obvious I tied the wrong person up. Live and learn!

What I learned was that I need additional rope, a ball gag and a sturdy chair in the next room!

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The next 3 way is going to involve tying up the selfish party in another room and then having wild monkey sex with the person who appreciates my tender mercies.

Just once in these situations… I’d really like to be the one who lays back and fucking enjoys being serviced!

Just once!!!

I should say however, I wouldn’t trade the experiences I’ve had for anything.

I love busting a nut as much as the next guy, but having complete control of two people in the throes of sexual anticipation, joy, depravity, ecstasy is a total rush!

And yes… I’ve probably crossed the TMI line with this post.

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Gay politics

Sad to say my brothers & sisters but we’re blowing it big time.

Especially in light of the new reports, one of which says we’re less than 2% of the population and the other report that says overall new HIV infection is down, EXCEPT in the young Gay / Bisexual crowd where the numbers of infection are climbing.

First, it is time for us to stop making the marriage fight about the GAY, instead make marriage about freedom and equality.

We need to stop pissing off the conservative base. We need to recognize they could be our natural allies. I know its hard to fathom but let me explain:

Conservatives are about freedom and constitutional rights. In this age of Obama we might be wise to capitialize on those issues rather than continue to have our collective wagons hitched to a President that may well have assured a conservative Republican takeover in the House and Senate.

The planks these Conservative Republicans are likely to be running on will be Freedom, Smaller, Less Intrusive Government, and Constitutional Rights.

I submit to you that it is a Constitutional right to marry the adult of the same species that you love. The Constitutionalists will be looking to swing disillusioned Democratic voters to their way of thinking and aren’t likely to rock the boat if some or even a lot of those voters happen to be gay, especially given the recent rulings and non-rulings by the SCOTUS.

We could easily have inclusion, not “speciality” in the political process and full equal standing in all rights within the next 5 years. We could even be respected for fighting when it was necessary and knowing when the fight was over.

Mayor Parker

But then we have IDIOTS like the Houston Mayor.

After someone like this garners national attention over a stupid ordinance, ALL Gay folks are screwed.

Let me set the stage for you.

Someone thought it would be a good idea to get rid of gender specific bathrooms in Houston and proposed an ordinance to the city council.

(Have you ever cleaned a women’s public bathroom? Let me tell you something, you’d rather clean all the bathrooms in a frat house with a toothbrush, the monday after homecoming, than clean a single public women’s restroom. As a male, I’ll take my urinals and relatively clean bathrooms thank you very much.)

This ordinance was passed, a lot of people were pissed off about it and they took action.

What they did was legal and correct, they gathered signatures for a referendum. Specifically, they gathered three times the number of signatures required for a referendum. The City Secretary did their job and certified that there were indeed enough signatures for a referendum.

Then the City Attorney and the Mayor rejected the certification of the referendum. This effectively put The City Attorney & Mayor in defiance of the law, not to mention defiance of the will of a number of civic minded citizens.

The citizens responded by filing a law suit against the Mayor. The Mayor, “aka the city” responded by using the power of her position to attempt to violate the first amendment rights of a number of local pastors and churches, by demanding their sermons and communications with their congregations. Its possible there is a fourth amendment violation in here too but I don’t think that will hold up in court.

If it was JUST that this Mayor was an idiot, it would be one thing. But in this case its well known that the Mayor is gay.

Folks are noticing and commenting on how similar her actions are to the actions of others In the so called Pink Mafia, or those forcing the “GAY Agenda”. 

Surely you remember;

Gay people suing bakers to bake wedding cakes

Gays suing to stay at a bed and breakfast, causing the B&B to close forever because the legal fees bankrupted the owners

Gays trying to sue a church into allowing them to have their wedding in the sanctuary. 

Don’t even start talking about GLAAD and their bitching about someones offhanded comment.

Lets not forget the great Vodka and Pasta, and Coors boycotts.

Or the forced resignation of corporate executives because they expressed their opinion about gay people, which they have every right to under the first amendment. 

Its time for HRC and GLAAD to start being useful in a more mature fashion. Yes, continue to watch for abuses of gay people or curtailment of peoples right based on their sexuality. But a more important job for both organizations might be to begin educating gay folks in how to use their newly gained rights without being assholes.

What we need is a situation where we can all point to an idiotic Mayor and call them an Idiot because of their policies or actions, regardless of their sexuality.

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Ok folks we need to talk.

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It is perfectly OK to be gay.

It is equally perfectly OK to be straight

Bi Folks are probably the luckiest because for them any party is a smorgasbord. And THEY are perfectly normal as well.

(Note, I’m including Lesbian, Transgendered, and Questioning folk in the larger over arching broadly defined groups above. Deal with it!)

BUT!

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And this is a real big deal for me. It is not ok for us to shove our beliefs, politics, and details of our lives down someone’s throat that is diehard straight, or devoutly religious, or who may have outdated or even antiquated beliefs, in our opinion.

I mean ask yourself how you’d feel if a straight person was telling you, you were wrong because of your desires. How about a straight person forcing you to bake them a cake for their sons first sexual encounter with a hooker?

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Both are distasteful and you’re entitled to say, “I do not agree,” or “I prefer not to do business with you.”

Why then do we feel it’s not ok for a devoutly religious person to refuse to bake our wedding cakes? How are we morally superior when we shout about a CEO being homophobic and demand their resignation?

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We are winning the right to marry whom we choose. We are making progress in winning hearts not with force, but with education, compassion, and common decency, we don’t need to keep pounding everyone over the head.

And yet we do.

We’ve become guilty of the same things that we’ve berated conservatives and religious groups about for years.

Intolerance!

Are we so shallow as a group that all we want is revenge?

“Oh Bitch you’re going to bake my wedding cake! I’ll lawyer up and FORCE you to do it!”

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Really? You’re going to serve that cake, made by someone you’ve deeply offended and pissed off to your friends and family? Ever heard the old adage, “Don’t piss off your food server?”

And if you’re smart enough to know you don’t want to serve a cake baked under those conditions to your friends and family…

Then let it the fuck go!

Why the hell would you want to go to the hassle of lawyering up just to prove a point. Make your point by going to the competitor bakery and then make sure all your friends do the same. You don’t need to picket, you don’t need to say or do anything other than find a different bakery and help them become successful.

All these people freaking out about Firefox’s CEO having an opinion about homosexuality that they disagree with is insane! 

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Firefox is a FREE product! Use it, OR Don’t. But for god sake, get the hell over yourselves! Go back to Internet Explorer or use Chrome. NEXT! 

There was an article on Breitbart today with the headline “Teacher White Privilege Conference: Whites are never cured of racism”

First and foremost, the nature of the conference and its message is offensive on its face.  Second, is this where the LGBT community really wants to go?

20 Years from now do you want to have a conference titled “Straight People are never cured of homophobia and must be re-educated time & again”

Lets get beyond the continuous “Butthurt”

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Its time to realize that many of the GLBT organizations cease to have relevance when we achieve equality. Its in the best interests of such organizations to keep the GLBT community frothing at the mouth at perceived slights, because without relevance these organizations are out of business.

The GLBT community isn’t quiet equal yet, but the day is coming and on that day the “Special” organizations should voluntarily and gladly lock their doors.

On that day we’ll be like everyone else our rights and freedoms guaranteed by The Constitution. We should all begin thinking of ourselves and acting, as normal participants in our society now.  Consider it training for ‘The Big Day’.

We don’t want to make the mistake of continuing to highlight how different we are.

I personally believe separatism, whether imposed from within or without is detrimental to any group in the society at large. I think of it like; Stop acting different and you’ll stop being different. Most people today don’t care if you’re GLBT, take that and revel in it, but don’t be mean. 

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I for one am sick and tired of story after story of the GLBT community abusing people who have  different beliefs or opinions about homosexuality. 

Its time for the GLBT community to grow the fuck up.

Not everyone on the “playground” is going to like us, nor should they be required to. Let folks have their own opinions, let them decide if they want to leave money on the table, let them come to realize, in their own time that the inclusion of the GLBT community will not bring about the end of the world as they know it.

Live as an equal member of your community, get involved, be a member of the neighborhood watch, volunteer your time, make your community a better place. Take the initiative to teach others a positive message by your actions, instead of a negative message by being a distraction.

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People will figure out you’re GLBT and they wont care, because you’re an asset to the community. 

We can’t demand equality and freedom while denying the same to others.