Category: Humor

My parents were very concerned that I was listening to Alice Cooper and had a poster of him in my room. The poster, I’d purchased from Spencers Gifts. My parents hated that I went into that store way too often to spend my allowance.

I even got grounded for sneaking into the living room one Saturday night to watch “Saturday Night Live” because Alice Cooper was performing.

Totally Worth it!

So imagine my surprise and joy to find that Alice Cooper is still raising hell.

I was astounded that Alice has rattled cages at a cosmetics company because he said there are only two genders.

In an interview with Stereogum Cooper said, “I’m understanding that there are cases of transgender, but I’m afraid that it’s also a fad, and I’m afraid there’s a lot of people claiming to be this just because they want to be that,” he said. “I find it wrong when you’ve got a six-year-old kid who has no idea. He just wants to play, and you’re confusing him telling him, ‘Yeah, you’re a boy, but you could be a girl if you want to be.’”

Later in the article he said, “If you have these genitals, you’re a boy. If you have those genitals, you’re a girl.”

Apparently this was enough to cause cosmetics company Vampyre to end a Brand Relationship (whatever the hell that is) with Cooper.

I guess “Brand Relationships” are what we used to call spokesmen or endorsements.

Vampyre Cosmetics caters to the Goth community. Who Knew?

In the ancient days of my youth, we’d find cheap garish makeup and go to town. It never occurred to us that we needed a brand that catered to us. We shopped the bargain bins. Blood red lipstick, grey / black eyeshadow (I preferred it to look like dark ash,) and almost any whoreish black gunky eyeliner would do. (After reading about Egyptian culture and their makeup, I made my own eyeshadow out of charcoal from the fireplace. Hit & miss but Goth to it’s core.)

All of our supplies were usually available for 50% off. If you were in a super religious area, Goth makeup was easy to get and even cheaper because “Decent” people wouldn’t wear makeup that made them look like the whore of Babylon.

The only place you could get some pieces was Spencer’s Gifts and that was a pricy proposition. Your leather or heavy antique coat was either from an old trunk in the basement (and smelled like it), or from Goodwill. Sometimes suitable leather coats could be found on the Wilsons discount rack.

Then along came Hot Topic…

Half the fun of being a Goth was finding all the Goth accouterments as hand-me-downs, throwaways, and goodwill items. Your style was defined by you and what was available, which meant all good Goths were unique individuals and their attire spoke to that uniqueness.

Alice Cooper and Ozzy Osbourne were out patron saints. We modeled ourselves on their performance art. Our parents hated those two with a passion.

My Goth clothing phase lasted less than a year. It was tiresome to get into costume ever day. I also found that I preferred to be invisible in a crowd. Dressing Goth meant I couldn’t blend in with the general population, I had to remain in “GothLand”. I don’t like limits. It was fun, it was a phase, and in short order I was done.

Maybe one of these days I’ll dust off the old Goth me, and dress up for Halloween. It might be fun.

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For me, Alice Cooper going against the grain of the alphabet culture, is at once ironic and comforting. It says that apparently I haven’t drifted too far from my roots.

Mr. Cooper always said what he thought, and carried the mantle of counter culture proudly.

I find that I agree with him once again. He makes sense and he’s willing to speak his mind in this cancel culture, consequences be damned.

Vampyr Cosmetics said in their statement,
“In light of recent statements by Alice Cooper we will no Longer be doing a makeup collaboration. We stand with all members of the LGBTQIA+ community and believe everyone should have access to healthcare. All pre-order sales will be refunded.”

There was a tweet… Should I call it an X now? Oh never mind. Anyway this tweet directed at Vampyr Cosmetics absolutely nailed it.

I’d like to shake @OldGuyGamer2’s hand for being so succinct.

This goes back to the LGB part of the gay community wanting a divorce from the TQIA+ bunch. The divorce will be very ugly and god only knows who’s going to get custody of the kids but it’s time. The TQIA+ bunch has moved to almost diametric opposition to the LGB group and the rest of “Decent” culture at large.

I’ll be curious to see which side the Goth community comes down on, or will they split into opposing groups?

What does that look like? Cooper Goths and PlannedParenthood Goths?

The vision in my head of “Cooper Goths” marching with Church groups is amusing. There’s something just funny about pink taffeta and white heels juxtaposed with Goths more somber hues carrying anti-grooming, anti-puberty blocking, and perhaps even anti-abortion signs.

That last one might go just a tad too far but that would be priceless to see.