Millennials- Get off your asses!

Open letter to the bratty, spoiled, self entitled, narcissistic, Whah Whah millennials

Grow UP!

BritMillennialWhiner

Yes, we all see that you have a cell phone; who the hell doesn’t these days?

Yes, we see that you have friends (although obviously, they’re not friend enough to tell you that your wardrobe needs a serious overhaul) Spandex IS A PRIVILEGE NOT A RIGHT, you fat slovenly cow!

But these things don’t mean that you need to be standing outside any apartment much less MY apartment using your cell phone as a speaker phone and shouting into the poor device at 11:30 at night. I have absolutely zero desire to know that your friend’s boyfriend’s cock is too thin to properly fill your friends cavernous (obviously overused) rancid pussy. Equally, I don’t care at all that your friend doesn’t like to give her boyfriend head or that his cock’s one redeeming quality is that it is thin enough or curves in such a way that anal sex is easy and dare I say even somewhat enjoyable.

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I also don’t appreciate being called a “Perv” when I ask you to move along with your filthy conversation or at least have the decency to take the conversation off speaker phone so that I might get some damn sleep.

Believe me, you and your little skanky friend were far more perverse in broadcasting that conversation across the parking lot.

I realize that you might be hearing impaired from too many hours of looped synthetic rhythm tracks blaring into your head at -900db. It’s also possible that the subsonics may have damaged what little brain you might have been born with, however I think you should know;

I also don’t give a fuck!

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Too many millennials have demonstrated that they were quite possibly loads their mommas should have swallowed. Looking at you, makes me believe that abortions… even retroactive abortions should be legal and perhaps even rewarded!

Believe me when I tell you princess, your escapades or what pass for thoughts mean absolutely nothing to me, and I don’t care to hear about them.

What I do care about is getting some sleep so that I can go to work, pay taxes, and look forward to the new and interesting ways that you and your addled ilk will find to piss away the government handouts you believe you’re entitled to.

Of course you’ll be screeching about how oppressed you are and how unfair life is the whole time you’re standing in line to pony up $900 for the latest iPhone instead of paying back your college loans.

Here’s an Idea…

Shut up and get to work!

The rest of us really know what oppression looks like, and how it feels. We know that the tax code is unfair, and that huge multinational corporations are at least, posting obscene profits built on our backs, and at worst corrupt and in collusion with the governments of the world to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

Tell us something new sunshine! That riff is as old as the industrial age, possibly older!

You want to save the world? DON’T BREED!

We’ve known for 5000 years that if you breed bad stock with bad stock all you get is worse stock. Humans are no different. Breed shitheads with morons and you get shity morons good for nothing except leeching off of society and whining about how unfair it is that not every special snowflake is all that fucking special.

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Get the hell over yourselves and contribute something!

We could start with your kidneys and work our work up provided you’re not too genetically inferior for even that purpose.

I suppose I dealt with one too many people today that wanted me to fix their self induced problem because the machines I’m supporting can’t think for them.

Believe me when I tell you, the day that machines can think for themselves, 99% of humanity is going to get plowed under. The remaining 1% will be in zoos, working in mines as slave labor, or on special game preserves where the machines can hunt our sorry asses for the thrill of choking the life out of a worthless human.

Learn something

Learn to drive, or to park, or to just learn to get the hell out of other people’s way. Stop buyng into the “I’m sooooo oppressed, or I’m soo responsible for oppression” bullshit. Ask yourselves this

Did you ever own slaves?

Did you personally massacre the Native Americans?

Did you swarm another country, suck it dry like a fucking parasite and then leave to find greener pastures?

If the answer to these questions is NO, then stop fucking complaining, clean up after yourselves and get with the program. Tweeting or Facebooking about problems isn’t solving problems.

You’re just buying into and propagating the mindset that keeps all of us shackled.

Get off your mom’s couch, put the fucking game console down, work your asses off and solve problems, in the real world.

Oh and before we elders sign off, STOP SLAMMING FUCKING DOORS!

There is no need for the rest of us to know when you come and go from anywhere. If you live in an apartment or condo, perhaps you should think about the fact that shaking the whole building every time you leave serves no purpose except to cause the rest of us to breath a sigh of relief that your gone and hope that you don’t come back.

A little common courtesy and respect for the other people around you might actually go a long fucking way toward the rest of us beginning to respect your lazy skanky asses. Not to mention actually listening to your opinions. Who knows? It might even bring a little peace to our societies.

Oh and just so we’re clear…

This is directed at ALL millennials, We don’t fucking give a shit what color you are.

Shoulder your burden, and get to fucking work!

The world revolves around it’s axis and the sun not you gigantic asshats!

Sincerely,

The rest of us!

Is it just me?

Images

Or have corporate web sites become more obtuse?

We’ve all heard the message on hold. “Most of your questions can be answered by going to our website www.blahdeblahblahblah.com” 

Some of us fume, (I’m one of the fumers) I hear that message and think, “If I had found what I was looking for on your daffy website, I wouldn’t have dug up your freakin phone number from your website to call you.”

The Hitchhiker s Guide to the Galaxy

I’m reminded of the passage in Hitchhiker’s guide to the Galaxy between Arthur Dent and the Foreman of the construction crew ready to destroy Arthur’s house.

“But the plans were on display…”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.” 
― Douglas AdamsThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Indeed websites appear to bury the lead more frequently now than in the past. 


Design and Stylistic Rant

I632hexq l’ve decided that the next website I build I’m going to put all the contact information, frequently asked questions, phone numbers, mailing addresses, and any other useful information behind an image of a disused lavatory door with a sign that says “Beware of the Leopard” (That’s my web design idea, call it copyrighted). Optionally, I may add another layer of annoyance by forcing the intrepid web user to open a filing cabinet then simulate flickering of light to make reading the information (displayed as either yellow on grey or red on grey characters) stored in the filing cabinet, a much more challenging thing to do before your first cup of coffee. 

With all these designers with their media/ design/ art school diplomas in web design, you’d think that at some point some professor would have discussed that a significant portion of the population exhibit some level of red-green or blue-yellow colorblindness and a larger portion of the population are shade blind as well. 

Which means that putting a 10 point HelveticaNarrow font in white on a light grey page, is going to look to a lot of folks like a blank page.

I’m not shade or color blind, and stuff like that is annoying as hell to me. All it takes is an allergy day, a cold, or dry eyes and now my lovelies, your web page is useless to pretty much everyone. 

I shouldn’t have to open your page in an HTML editor to be able to see what’s on it.

Just Sayin…


Anyhow.

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My finger is hovering over a schedule time button on the Apple webpage.

I’ve spent 10 minutes thrashing through pages intended to answer every question and provide every service EXCEPT something that must take place in the physical world.

Why not make it simple? How about putting a button Front and Center that says SCHEDULE a visit with an Apple Genius? How about putting that right at the bottom of the opening page?

<sigh> It’s the age of obfuscation.

I’m finally on the page, I think, that will allow me to complete the task that I thought would be simple and only take a minute.

Hovering over the button, I ask myself why is it that I can ONLY schedule on a single day a week out? Why can’t I schedule an appointment on any of the other days that week? Why can’t I schedule an appointment 2 weeks out?

Why is Apple dictating essentially that I’ll have to make a special trip to their store and not be able to combine that trip with other things I might already have on my agenda?

My finger is still hovering. the first appointment is 2:15 in the afternoon, I’d really like a morning appointment, I don’t like being in Apple stores in the afternoon or evening.

Flightline

Then it hits me;

I DON’T LIKE BEING IN APPLE STORES AT ALL!

But the morning is always preferable to afternoon.

I slowly come to realize that while I like Apple products, I can’t stand the noise, crowding, confusion, and general disarray that every single Apple store has become. I’ve actually been to shooting ranges that were quieter than most Apple Stores.

It’s like being in an ‘80s disco bar.

Everyone is yelling to be heard, there’s continuous BOOMING driving base coming from the PA system and at least half a dozen different sound sources all around the room. People are shoving to get to whatever bright and shiny, they want to play with, and they’re rude about it.

4246303 683742 cocktail a mix of various drinks sometimes alcoholic drinks

At least in a bar, I’d have a drink that would be acting as an anesthetic. 

Alas, Apple stores, for all their other bar-like similarities are lacking the one critical component that would allow me to justify shouting over music which is indistinguishable from being on the flight line of a aircraft carrier during a fighter scramble. 

Whiskey!

The only bar I’ve ever enjoyed with noise as loud as the Apple store, was a place where you could get a drink and a BLOW-JOB at the same time.

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The volume of the music was to hide the grunts, shouts and “Rebel Yells” of various guys blowing their loads down willing throats. In other words, the pain in my ears was offset by alcohol and nasty pleasure.

I’m spending premium dollars in an Apple Store. I don’t need Vivaldi but I would like to conduct business at some decibel level below 200. I’d like to literally be able to hear myself think.

The 2:15 appointment has vanished. 2:45 is available.

My finger still hovers over the button.

Nah… I’ll wait.

Oscars RACIST!

Al Sharpton Profile Pointing Spencer Platt Getty Images 640x480

Big Deal so what, Who Cares?

Al Sharpton claims the Oscars are “Fraudulent” because the nominees are all white.

Aside from Sharpton himself being more racist than the Grand Dragon of the KKK; if the Oscars are fraudulent  then why is he worried about doing the Uncle Tom shuffle in a meaningless award ceremony?

KKK UniformDon’t worry Al, next year all the nominees will be black regardless of how bad the movies are, or poor the acting is. There won’t be any white devils nominated, just to appease you.

That won’t make the ceremony any more valid, less racist, or relevant to our daily life. It will not change who’s in control. It will however, finally END these stupid, vain, self congratulatory, award ceremonies.

I personally will be very glad to see the Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, and the BET Awards, tossed on the dustbin of history. I look forward to not having to hear about these vanities ever again.

OscarUntil then Al, SHUT UP!

Think about the fact that I, who was born in the South believe that you make David Dukes look like a balanced individual. (To be clear, he’s not, and neither are you.)

Al, your claims to fame are exactly 3 things.

You’re an unbelievable racist.

You’re an example that FAT shaming works. Your pictures from the 70’s are telling.

You’re awesome at tax evasion, and mooching.

That’s it. Your life summed up. So please exit the public stage, we’re all totally over your shit.

I’m sure someone will decide to give you an Oscar next year. It’ll be a lifetime achievement award in dramatic rhetoric.

Diversity? Oh Really!

Brain

Sorry, just read another article about the lack of “Diversity” in technology and realized I am totally screwed! Apparently, I’ve also been way ahead of the curve because for years. To me, my coworkers have been nothing more that their intellect. I think the ultimate diversity, is for all of us to be considered nothing more than a brain.

Here is the inevitable rant!

The lack of diversity in Tech means more DIVERSITY is being demanded even though some of the “Diverse” workers may have been given their degrees as a quota filling move.  Like the Dr. from MIT (yes… a real PHD from MIT) who was my boss. That idiot couldn’t read simple sentences, much less run a department.

PinkynTheBrain

All of us used to write memos that read like Dick & Jane books.

“See the network plug”
“The network plug is different from the phone plug”
“Forcing the network plug into the phone jack is bad, it makes the network sad”
“See Sparky run…”

Of course writing like that takes time and thought so we’d get dinged on productivity.

If we didn’t write memos then we had to talk in person and that meant what should have been a 2 minute conversation ended up being an hour long conversation as we explained repeatedly the fundamental concepts of digital communications in an “adverse” environment. The idiot really had trouble understanding why you didn’t want to run ethernet cables between moving vehicles. Truly this person was the poster child for “The Peter Principal”.

BTW the issues weren’t because of being  black, they were because of stupidity, and an artificial quota system which presented a pass based on skin color instead of having the student learn things and work for the degree(s).

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The lady who taught me UNIX was also a graduate from MIT and she was freakin brilliant. She spoke all kinds of languages, had an undergraduate degree in physics, and graduate degrees in Computer Science and AI.

She was tough to deal with but we got along. I think it’s because when we were at work it was only about the truth of the data, the validity of the software, and personalities or feelings didn’t matter. She’s what I thought all MIT folks were like, until I met my former boss and the fantasy was shattered.

I know if I was hiring now, I’d be suspicious of folks and their degrees. That’s what happens when you devalue an entire educational system to bring “Equality” based on anything other that intellect.

My suspicion  is evidenced by the number of pre-interview “Tests” that hiring companies want you to take.

Einstein

Yeah, they want to test you on your knowledge before you ever speak to anyone outside of the HR department.  It’s annoying, but I get it. Degrees are like toilet paper now. Very expensive toilet paper, but toilet paper nonetheless. Everyone has one and all the degree means anymore is that you’re in debt and sat through X years in an institute of “Higher Learning,” and have a mountain of debt.

There are some very good professors who do really care about facts, and whether the student has retained the facts or not. These professors are also interested in teaching and verifying that the students can use the “facts” in new ways.

But sadly these professors are retiring at an alarming pace and many of them are glad to be doing so. The helicopter parents haven’t gone away, they’re simply plaguing a new set of educators, except now they’re holding college professors accountable for little Johnny not doing the work.

Turns out the critics & educators of 50 years ago were right, things do slip to the lowest common denominator, not the other way around.

Thank God I didn’t see this live

There are times when you just have to appreciate the bluntness of a military man.

Retired U.S. Army Lt. Col. Ralph Peters didn’t mince words Monday when asked about President Obama’s strategy on tackling and destroying ISIS — and was suspended by Fox News for it.
– via Guns.com

When I watched the video and Lt. Col Peters delivered his comment I’m very glad that I wasn’t eating or drinking anything. I’d have choked to death!

“Look, Mr. President we’re not afraid we’re angry, we’re pissed off, we’re furious,” Peters said. “We want you to react, we want you to do something. You’re afraid. I mean this guy is such a total pussy, its stunning. And, you know, we want — we the people, the American people, whom he does not know in any intimate sort of manner, we want action. We want action against Islamic State and then — then, when the president is telling us he is going to destroy ISIS.”
– via Guns.com

Here is the video, Enjoy it.


I found it interesting that the Fox Anchor didn’t stop the Lt Col. until the Lt. Col. called the people in Ferguson, MO “Thugs”.

OH Shut the hell up! Shut the hell up!

TankGirl

Whiney, Humorless, Self Important, spoiled little college students, I’m personally sick of your shit. 

I’m fairly sure the rest of the nation and the entire fucking planet is sick of your shit. If they’re not now, they soon will be.

You’re bullies, & you know it…

Pretty damn soon someone is going to push back against your childish whining and complaining. Personally, I can hardly wait. Be thankful it’s not going to be someone like Tank Girl

Before that happens and a bunch of innocent people get hurt, why don’t you take this moment to get your asses back into classes, (which some of us never had the money or opportunity to attend because we were living hand to mouth,) and let the rest of your fellow students get back to concentrating on getting what they can out of their education.

If college is so demeaning, dehumanizing, and racially charged that you can’t see anything except racist overtones — perhaps you should go home!  That way you can stop supporting the corporate, sexist, racist, patriarchal, system that is keeping you down.  

OH? You don’t want to do that? You want doctors of color? You want more diversity in the administration? You demand to be able to deprive someone of their hard earned career because of the color of their skin? You want inclusiveness WHILE you’re telling the white students that you’ve forced to march in your cause, to leave your safe spaces?

Well fuck you!

You whiney, weak willed, marginally educated, loads your mommas shoulda swallowed, need to realize nobody hands the rest of us anything!

We have to pay for it. We have to keep paying OR we’re out of the fucking street homeless and hungry while you little cum stains are bitching about dead people whose visage or name offends you because of something the said or did 100 years ago or their name is on the side of a building or a street name or whatever. And you do this from the safety of a warm dorm when other people from your own communities go to bed in the cold, in cardboard boxes, hungry and alone.

If you were the real social justice warriors that you’d like to paint yourself as you would be organizing protests about lack of services for the homeless, the poor, the mentally ill, hungry children in this country, and any of a long list of ills that happen every day.

You’d be baking cookies and dinners and you’d be delivering those meals to the hungry from the backs of your Priuses.

You’d be screaming bloody murder about lack of medical care for those who are truly at risk, rather than the color of the doctor providing the medical care, at the campus clinic.

(I honestly find it hard to believe that all the doctors at a college clinic are white. I suspect there’s a fair mix of Indian, Middle Eastern, and Latino caregivers. All you have to do is open a phone book to the M.D. section and you’ll see a demographic that is anything but white only. So I call bullshit on the Occidental students claiming they need doctors of color. Which by the way is about as racist as me complaining about how tough it is to find a white male doctor.)

You’d be asking questions and making suggestions instead of demands.

If you were demanding anything, it should be answers about why drug companies feel justified cranking the cost of some drugs up by1500% and why those same drugs are sold in other countries for pennies. Why the cost of medical insurance keeps going up and why the cost of medical care is spiraling out of control.

You’d be demanding answers about corruption in our government and corporations and how the collusion between the two entities serves to widen the economic divide between the various people in this country instead of bridging it.

You’d be asking why American education is so poor and why so many of you can’t write or do math. You’d be seeking to make sure that 5 years from today damn few students entering college required remedial reading, writing, or math classes.

You should be finding ways to make more with less instead of bitching about how wasteful people were in the past.

Bitching about the stupidity of the past is like blaming a two year old for using crayolas on the wall of the nursery. Folks in the past were wasteful because they didn’t know what we know now.

Bitching about their ignorance in ALL things serves no purpose. You’re all here NOW, make the best of what you’ve got and incorporate what we know now into your actions. Don’t forget… In 200 years students sitting on some campus will be shaking their heads at YOUR ignorance.

Woodhouse

You spoiled little brats should be studying very hard to find solutions to the situations that lead to the injustices you’re bitching about instead of blatantly inflicting the same harm on others.

No matter how richly their ANCESTORS may have deserved retribution, punishing descendants of an formerly oppressive group does absolutely nothing except breed resentment and / or hatred, and then the cycle repeats.

I realize all these concepts may have caused your little minds to be triggered out of your safe spaces. Some of you may be choking on the froth of indignation, and perhaps a few of you have suffered irreversible brain damage caused by attempting to actually think. 

So for all of you…

I’ll fetch a rug.


(For those of you unfamiliar with the TV show Archer, Woodhouse often fetches rugs to aid in the disposal of bodies and sometimes simply the disposal of drugged or passed out hookers.)