OK I KNOW it’s Friday the 13th already!

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I swear I’m expecting Jason to go walking across my computer screen any minute!

I was working on a blog post minding my own business. I got up to get some coffee, then noticed the trash was full. In keeping with my effort to become more efficient and build good habits, I slipped on my shoes and took the trash out. While I was outside I did poo patrol and then came back in.

Then I made myself a cup of coffee and sat back down at my desk.

I swear I was only gone for 10 minutes 15 minute tops!

I tapped the mouse and the computer woke rrrrreeeeeaaaaaallllyyyy sllllllooooooowwwwwlllly

Hum. This can’t be good!

There is a message from my virus scan software saying that it’s on access scan is offline.

Hum. This is really not good.

I fire up the console application. Its scrolling like a mother!

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ERROR File Not Found. Virus Scan application failed to load.
Warning
Fatal error Antivirus scanner failed to load, Virus database missing or corrupt

ERROR File Not Found. Virus Scan application failed to load.
Warning
Fatal error Antivirus scanner failed to load, Virus database missing or corrupt

ERROR File Not Found. Virus Scan application failed to load.
Warning
Fatal error Antivirus scanner failed to load, Virus database missing or corrupt

ERROR File Not Found. Virus Scan application failed to load.
Warning
Fatal error Antivirus scanner failed to load, Virus database missing or corrupt

ERROR File Not Found. Virus Scan application failed to load.
Warning
Fatal error Antivirus scanner failed to load, Virus database missing or corrupt

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So I think I know what happened… question is how do I fix it? First thought is to ask the AV program to check for updates.

NO JOY. The program posted that it had downloaded the latest version.

Try deleting the latest downloads? NO JOY couldn’t find them and the company web site was pretty much useless about this kind of error.

Delete the preferences, user settings, and anything that looks like new files associated with the AntiVirus program.

OK… Now the AntiVirus program is FUBAR!

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Uninstall / Reinstall

Uninstall works! No more errors and my computer is now running normally. Grab the installer from a network drive and install it.

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AntiVirus program reports that this version is too old and cannot be updated via auto-updater. I’m instructed to download the latest version from their web site.

OK Navigate to their website, attempt to log-in.

You’ve entered an incorrect user ID or password. Please try again.

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I recheck the credentials I have stored. The date on the receipt matches the date stored in the credentials so what gives?

Sigh…

I normally wouldn’t really care all that much, but the way that this has happened is reminiscent of the way AntiVirus gets disabled in WinDOZE computers and It’s spooky to think that someone might have figured out how to do the same thing on a Mac.

Of course if someone had created some piece of malware that could mess with my system like that… I’d be really, really, pissed off.

I end up getting the password reset, and then I’m able to download the package…

It installs flawlessly and then updates the virus definitions.

GOOD, now we’re making progress.

All is right once again with my computer and gee whiz it only cost me 4 hours.

I’m doing a full system scan, just to be sure that I don’t have something nasty crawling around in my machine. Call me paranoid!

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At least I haven’t had the horrendous time suck a buddy had. His Windows 8 machine is still a smoldering pile of donkey doo. Since it’s a laptop maybe a steaming pile of cow poo is a more appropriate description.

Sorry man… I told ya last year you might be better off with a Mac instead of yet another Windows machine. I have sympathy for ya but have to say I told you so.

Oh, it appears that my antivirus problem was simply that the update data was glitched in transmission. I guess I need to figure out what files I need to wipe to force a complete virus database download if this happens in the future.

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OH who the HELL am I kidding? I’ve been using this AV software since 2008 and this is the FIRST time I’ve seen it do something like this. I’m going to call it a “One-Off” and not waste any more time on it.

I have better things to do with my time…

After all this isn’t a Windows System.