And so, the holidays are once again upon us.

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ARRRGHHH!!!

Today is Black Friday.

I’m hunkered down here at home, watching a light misty rain fall. My doors are locked and the alarm is ON!

My email is being inundated with offers of Black Friday sales and specials.

Violence has already been done at Walmarts and Targets. That started last night before the Turkey was even cold.

We are a psychotic people.

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A large number of my fellow citizens would denigrate corporate America for greed & corruption. Likewise these people would gladly carry signs in protest of pollution and misuse of resources. They would drive manufacturing right out of the state if they found it too stinky or whatever.

And Yet… 

These same people will crawl over each other clawing, kicking, and screaming to get at the latest bit of consumer crap made in China. 

These folks will engage in near riotous behavior for a lousy 15% off an overpriced toy that will last 3 weeks, then make it’s way to the back of their child’s closet never to be seen again.

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But the parents are just as bad.

The latest model cell phone, the newest computer, the latest game console, all of which will be replaced next year, and the year after that.

Don’t get me wrong. I can’t claim the high ground here either. I replaced my cell phone this September with the latest and greatest from Apple. My old phone was 3 years old and had completely failed. I could have purchased something a little less ostentatious. 

In Feb of this year I replaced my Generation 1 iPad with and iPad Mini. The gen 1 uint had finally failed. In Jul of last year I replaced my 5 year old Macbook with a new Air. The common thread here is that I try to replace stuff ONLY when it finally fails. Not because it’s the newest shiny bit of electronic fluff.

I like knowing a piece of equipment. I like easy familiarity and I don’t like necessarily having to learn something new. That’s why the iPod in my car is 5 years old. It works, it’s in fine shape and the connector works with the iPod interface in the car. Everybody is happy!

I’m amazed watching the news reports of people fighting in line outside stores.

One of the news reports showed an interview with a policeman. He related that the fighting had started because of some people cutting in line.

These are the same people that will cut in line on a Freeway exit, or take the emergency or exit lanes to get 5 car lengths ahead of everyone else and endanger all of us in the process. 

Are we surprised that these people will try to do the same thing in a line of people waiting to get into a store?

The policeman was sadly resigned to this being the state of the world, he did mention that two people had been arrested.

As has become my custom… I’m staying home and boycotting shopping altogether. Of course that’s easy to do when money is tight! But in recent years when I had lots of income I still couldn’t bring myself to engage in the consumer orgy.

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Now days… 

I’m content to stay home, curled up and comfy watching my favorite movies.

In all not a bad way to spend a day. Sure as heck better than wandering in the rain and crowds. The only think I’d like from the outside is a Cafe Mocha

DANG!

No, I’ll stick with hot chocolate I don’t need to go to a Starbucks! 

I don’t, I don’t, I don’t…

 

Rites of passage

This one has been banging around in the draft folder for a while. Figured I’d publish it. Feel free to add comments. I’ll move the good ones into the body of the post. This list is not complete. I’ve been adding to it when I think about it.

These are things that we experience but often forget to share. As men, we should share this stuff, if only anonymously. The younger men ought to know what to expect. And hopefully we’ll get a laugh out of their horrified looks. Hey it’s what we do to each other!

In my life, the rites of passage I’ve experienced or witnessed have been, in no particular order;

Camping out by myself. Wow, look at those stars, My camp site is cool but I should have done X, Y, & Z differently. I’ll do those things differently next time.

Penthouse, Hustler and Chic, Magazines, So that’s what THEY have down there! And apparently MY junk recognized it… Even if I didn’t.

Firing you first gun.

Hitting your target with a bow.

Killing and eating your first meal.

1st wet dream, Oh my god!!! I wet the bed… no wait… what the hell is this??? I’ll ignore it maybe it will go away and not happen again.

Taking a brutal kick to the groin, there’s nothing like it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

The First Climax… AKA “Jacking off”,  Oh wow, rubbing that feels REALLY good! Oh nooo something is wrong! I hurt myself… I’m never doing that again… well maybe just this time, and 10 minutes later and 10 minutes after that. Then finding out other boys also found this neat thing their body would do. Then enjoying our smugness while we could exclude the boys who knew nothing of what we were talking about.

A couple of fights, Yeah, I’ve been punched in the face, bloodied up pretty good. I’ve been on the loosing and winning side of a fight. You learn a lot from both experiences. When you have your ass kicked, you decide that you want to know how to not let that happen again. You also learn to be a somewhat gracious winner. At least in school, in my case being decent about having won the fight and helping my defeated opponent to his feet is all that prevented us from being suspended. We got off with a stern talking to.

Finally understanding mercy and why it’s important in this world.

Being part of the winning team, and the pizza party afterwards

Being part of the losing team, and the pizza afterwards.

Your first body hair, Whats that? OUCH! it’s attached. Oh… cool!

Your First Shave, topped by your Dad giving you your first non-disposable razor.

Seeing a hardcore adult toy catalog, Oh so that’s what it looks like when people screw. Damn! that guys dick is huge. Why does she look like it hurts? Does it hurt to have sex? If it does why do people do it?

Learning to be judgmental 

That feeling of RAGE when you realize someone stole your shit!

Your First serious Girlfriend, She’s holding my hand! She’s letting me kiss her, she’s kissing me back uhhh oh I hope she doesn’t notice the tent in my pants. Shit! she noticed, hey shes smiling at it… She touched me through my jeans…. Wow! she’s putting my hand between her legs! I’m liking the way she’s moaning when I touch her… I’m liking even more how shes rubbing my dick… I just shot my juice with a girl!

Figuring out how to get condoms

First broken bone This is real bitch! why can’t I just walk like a normal person? Yeah, give me the walking cast, there was a question about needing this?

Understanding betrayal firsthand

The first broken nose Do you fix it yourself or run to the doctor? Fix it yourself of course!

Losing my virginity to a lovely lady in a seriously clumsy sexual escapade (I still grin about that one)

The first BJ, Oh YEAH, HELL YEAH!

A Driver’s license I’m never going to be home after today! Wait… I have to pay for gas AND insurance?

The frustration of being mobile, having condoms, and the house to yourself, and yet being unable to score.

Watching a porn movie in a theater...

Watching porn at home

Learning how to forgive

Knowing when to leave a party. Finding out later that you left just moments before the cops busted the place.

That first paycheck Wait! what the hell is FICA? Who is SSI? Why did they get my money before I did?

My First Apartment  The first night sleeping on the floor (I had no furniture) But it was MY PLACE all mine. The next day… I bug bombed the hell out of the place. While the bug bombs were driving the nasties into everyone elses places, I was out buying dishes, silverware, a frypan, a couple of pots, a Mr. Coffee,  and a cheap microwave. My waterbed was filled by nightfall and I slept like a baby that second night.

Purchasing my first Brand New Car  The little head was doing all the talking that night… I CHARGED the down payment yep… on my Mastercard… But I drove the hell out of that car and enjoyed every minute of it.

Losing family to death and having to be strong for the rest of the family

Taking a date to a nice restaurant, only to realize too late that she was ‘Eliza’ from My Fair Lady and I could have had more fun with another young lady, or that I could have gotten what I wanted by taking her to a Mc Donalds.

Being laid off from your job the first time.

My first hangover

Learning to take time in the sack and how to have a lazy, unhurried, guiltless, sexy screw on an beautiful Sunday morning.

My first auto accident. OH DAMN! that’s going to be expensive to fix!

Learning you’re good in a crisis, and learning that it’s OK to freak out a bit and have the shakes after the crisis is over.

The walk of shame the morning after a night of debauchery (That one still gets a grin too)

Learning to control your own fear, and learning that by your controlling your fear others around you are also less afraid.

Understanding you can change if you want to

Calling the Dr and having to answer the question… “What’s the reason you’re making this appointment?”, My answer was “I’m very irritated Down there!” Which is when I found out my dick doesn’t like Nonoxynol 9, but at the time I was just sure I had VD.

Turning down sex for the first time… What the hell just happened? I never turn down getting laid

The first prostate exam, DOC, you are going to do WHAT???

How to lose it all and survive, It’s all just stuff… Stuff does not make me who I am.

Learning how NOT to be judgmental 

Losing friends to death and learning how to grieve.

First Gray hairs… on my balls! Oh Hell no, that just ain’t right!

Learning that happiness or sadness isn’t about what’s outside, it’s about what’s in you.

 

I’m Tired…

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So Tired… dammit I’m exhausted!

Yep, couldn’t help seeing Madeline Kahn as I thought about writing this.

I’m tired of many things. Politics, War, Afghanistan, President Obamas speachifying.

At the top of my list and also something I can control is the hate, vitriol, and drama that I let into my home.

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I’ve been a Twitter user for a long while now. I’m beginning to thing that perhaps that is at an end.

Recently, there have been several particularly nasty incidents that I’ve decided I don’t have to put up with.

First let me say, I’m conservative. I’m not Limbaugh conservative, but I do have more conservative leaning views.

I don’t like big government, I don’t think the government owes me anything more than my due (Social Security) springs to mind, and I know damn well that I’ll be whistling for that.

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That being said, I’m not automatically drinking the Republican, Democratic, Liberal, or Tea Party kool-aid.

Some of those people scare the hell out of me because they’re just as draconian in their beliefs as the Puritans. (They popped into my head because of Thanksgiving.)

I’m more of a libertarian, constitutionalist.

All I’ve ever wanted, is to be left the hell alone in my personal life and financial affairs.

For me personally the ACA is anathema to the way I’d prefer to live.

It’s representative of a government intrusion into my personal affairs that I’d prefer not to have.

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I’ve begun over the past decade or so to believe that the government has become too large and unwieldy to provide the primary services it was designed to.

Our government on both a federal and state level has become so intrusive in our daily lives that I chafe because I fear the loss of freedom that comes with each new regulation, regardless of whether the regulation or rule actually makes sense.

I don’t believe you can regulate common sense any more than morality. From the beginning it was obvious, prohibition wasn’t ever going to work stopping folks from getting drunk. Or the drug war, or “Just say No.”

As an example of intrusiveness on the part of government run amok, it’s no longer permissible to smoke in your condo in a Northern California town.

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Yes! this is a Condominium that you OWN, pay taxes on, and a homeowners association fee monthly.

It seems that smoking on your own property is now forbidden because some smoke may at some point waft through a wall (god I hope not) and potentially harm a neighbor.

Were I in that town, I’d lobby for a ban or curry foods, microwaving fish, and kimchi too.

I find all of these offensive. Am I not allowed to demand protection for my sinuses?

The question for me is; where reasonably do my rights begin and end?

When I see the government either federal, state, or local, feeling that they have the right to extend their power into my home I become very concerned.

To me, this represents a fundamental lost of my freedom as a human being. What happened to fundamental concepts like life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?

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How about this? Schools fining parents because the lunch a parent sent to school for their child was’t “Nutritionally acceptable”. Then the child is given additional foodstuffs to make up the perceived lack of nutritional value.

Yes, this is happening now and I believe we’ve lost our damn minds!

Who at the school is to say that the food left out of a lunch wasn’t part of a medical issue? The school feeling that they have the right to fine a parent as punishment for not feeding their kid correctly is completely off the charts.

The other side of the coin is also happening. Parents are being punished, as are their children for having too much food. In our headlong charge to prevent childhood obesity, some schools have implemented rules about snacks.

What these rules overlook is sports.

I, as a teen couldn’t get enough food. I ran on the track team, and walked or rode a bike everywhere in the town of Lexington.

I walked in the snow, and rain or shine. I liked walking. I loved being on the track and cross country teams…

I was also always starving! Not because my parents weren’t feeding me, the food bill was astronomical.

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I was hungry all the time because my body was growing, and at the same time I was burning a ton of calories each and every day.

The day I topped 120 pounds I was amazed, I was also a senior in High School.

It’s hard to be fat when your caloric burn rate is off the charts.

But if I were in some of the “calorie regulated” the schools of today, doing all that I was doing then, I’d be unhealthy. Thin, isn’t always a sign of health.

That unhealthiness would be a direct result of a school policy that sought to enforce a restriction on my nutritional intake.

As a kid, I’d not even have been able to recognize the danger until my body shut down in the middle of a meet. And what about the damage done by malnutrition as I trained to win?

What ever happened to teaching kids personal responsibility? Or, for that matter Phys Ed? All the so called affronts to our self esteem are in fact learning situations. Lots of those lessons are taught not in the classroom, but in the schoolyard.

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You’re not always going to be the strongest, fastest, smartest, or the best.

That’s LIFE!

Knowing that simple truth provides a balance to me and my personal philosophies. This knowledge allows me to deal with most situations.

Mind you, I might not be happy about it, but I know how to deal.

Why do we insist on giving children completely unrealistic expectations? How about lessons on losing with grace and honor?


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Liberty and Freedom aren’t just abstract concepts to me. I want nothing more than to live and breath those concepts.

So long as I’m not harming anyone, It is up to me to decide how best to live my life.

By extension, were I a parent, it would be MY call on what was best for MY child.

I deeply resent anyone who seeks to impose their will or belief structures on me. Note, I said belief structures…

You see, that leads to religion.

An Atheist, Dowist, Catholic, Satanist, Jew, or any other religious practitioner is granted the right to pursue their beliefs by the constitution.

At the same time, these folks are not permitted to force me to accept and practice their beliefs.

Yet, all around us we have people imposing their will on others not out of fact, but out of dogmatic belief.

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What is the difference between the belief of a religion… and the dogmatic adherence to unproven philosophies that are ostensibly to protect us all?

I could make the argument my decision to convert all nonbelievers to Christ for the betterment of their eternal souls. You know, for their own good… Is not only right… but necessary because I know best what they need to be happy!

That would be wrong, and it’s already been done. A little tea party called the Inquisition, which may have led to a certain explorer finding the North American continent… again.

Back to the Twitter incidents.

Increasingly, discussions about current events are interrupted by people who, uninvited, start ramming their dogmatic beliefs down everyone else’s throats.

This happens on almost every subject and typically ends, only when the original topic of conversation is abandoned.

So called “Liberals” are to my mind, the worst offenders.

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Whether it be in defense of the ACA while people are commiserating about the loss of their insurance and inability to access exchanges or obtain subsidies.

On the more vicious, hateful, strident calls, for more gun control interjected in a conversation about steel versus lead ammunition.

The result is always the same.

The original conversant says “Uh, please leave, we’re not talking about that here.”
The intruder replies “Fuck you, you stupid tea party moron.”
Original conversant “ Look, I didn’t swear at you or call you names, I’m trying to tell my friend how to adapt to steel ammunition in hunting ducks.”
Intruder “Fucking animal! you should shoot yourself instead of the ducks.”
Original conversant “Ok, hey @myfriend, I’ll talk to you later, DM your email address.”
Intruder “Yeah you run you fucking tea party gun nut, I hope your kid shoots your dick off!”

And then the thread dies.

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It’s sad because I and I’m sure others, would have enjoyed gaining the perspective of someone who had made the transition for lead shot to steel shot.

Several weeks ago I muted someone in Twitter. I’d, up to that point, never muted anyone.

I can’t help but feel that everyone is entitled to the same freedom of expression I am. That being said, I rarely jump into a conversation unless I know one or more of the parties involved.

The guy I muted is someone that I’ve spoken with and whose comments I usually enjoy.

However, he went so far over several lines of politeness and decorum that I felt I had no choice but to silence him before he said something that I would really find offensive.

Incidents have been occurring with increasing frequency and outright hatred, over the past month or so.

In each one, even if I’m not speaking I’ve found myself offended and with no desire to read any further comments from any of the parties.

I can say the “evil bastard conservatives” typically don’t resort to obscenities during a heated discussion.

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The Liberals on the other hand should have their mouths washed out with soap.

Last night for example, I was repeatedly called a moron, idiot, and tea party asshole.

This verbal abuse came from a woman who would never have taken that kind of verbal abuse from me. She inserted herself in the conversation calling me an idiot in her very first tweet.

All I said was “We lose our health insurance so that we may become dependent on the government.” To a friend of mine who’d just gotten his insurance cancellation notice.

He thought it was funny, gallows humor but funny nonetheless.

I meant it somewhat tongue in cheek but with a sting. If in fact you require a subsidy to pay for your health insurance you are by default dependent on the government.

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Apparently, at least according to this “Lady” (Grand inquisitor more like) that made me an idiot.

She repeatedly told us all that the government didn’t pay for insurance.

Really? If you get a 100% subsidy the government is picking up the tab aren’t they?

I tried to get her to explain her position. Thats when she called me a moron, and we went down hill from there.

Somewhere in the middle of her hate ridden tirade against everyone who even questioned the policies of St Barak Obama I realized that by accessing Twitter, I’d willingly let this bitch into my home.

Before you ask, No, at no time did I call her any names… I thought it. I thought it a lot, but I didn’t call her anything that sprang to mind.

With that knowledge came this, I could in fact, throw her out just as easily.

I closed Twitter and took a deep breath.

My first inclination was to kill the Twitter account too.

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I slept on it.

I’ve decided that I’ll keep the account, instead of killing the account, I am going on hiatus for a few weeks.

You see, on the one hand, I feel like I’m inviting all the hate, and vitriol the liberals, and any other nutjob can spew into my home.

On the other hand if I fold my tent and simply don’t participate, these spewing fountains of sewage will appear to represent the majority of America.

This is, I believe how the Republican party came to be regarded so poorly.

Twitter Hiatus

The moderates got tired of fighting the ultra right (or left)  nutjobs, and they simply stopped engaging.

After all, as a responsible person I know I can turn off the TV, the computer, or anything else that bugs me and my day will progress quite nicely.

Most moderates understand this and exercise the option often.

However by doing that, we the moderates, abdicate our control to the sewage spewing nuts on either side of the political divide.

That, my brothers and sisters is why we the moderates must fight on.

We must not be silenced, we must not allow ourselves to be lumped into a group.

We must speak, politely, firmly, and honestly.

If we don’t, we’ll all end up ordering tofu tacos from an approved government vendor and only be allowed to have 90 calories per meal.

And it will all be “For our own good”