Legalese!!!! Everywhere you look…

I understand that we live in a litigious world. 

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I get that people and companies want to protect and preserve their rights.

But FUCK!!!!

Ever tried to wade through a Microsoft agreement? You have to BE a lawyer to understand what the Lawyers wrote.

Worse yet, are the Apple Agreements that are in your face all the time. If you use iTunes, have an iPod, use an iPad or god help you have an Apple Computer every time you bring up a piece of software it seems, you’re confronted with YET Another licensing agreement from Apple.

Enough already!

These agreements are so ubiquitous to have become irrelevant. I have no idea what I’ve agreed to anymore!

I used to diligently read them start to finish but they became longer, more complex, filled with more legalese and longer still. Now I don’t even try. Invariably I’m confronted with a document that is as long as War & Peace which might as well be written in Aramaic when I’m just trying to do something simple…

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You know, something like sync my iPod before I head out for the day. More than once I’ve said screw it! just leaving the iPod sitting on the desk.

This morning was a classic example. I fired up iTunes to listen to some music, My iPad started syncing. I noticed that there were a bunch of application updates. Oh, I thought, I’ll start those downloads while I’m eating breakfast.

I come back to the computer 30 minutes later to discover that NOT One of the updates have downloaded. Why? Because Apple made some changes  to the terms of use, or the licensing  agreement or they changed the toilet paper in Cupertino or something!

What ever it was that they changed, required that I accept a document as cryptic as the writing on access hatch to the Alien ship that crashed in Roswell. This document is  longer than the recorded history of mankind. I’d be better off, and have several Phd’s to my credit if I read half as much.

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The practical upshot is that I scrolled & scrolled & scrolled & scrolled to the bottom of this overly complex tome, found the little checkbox next to agree, clicked it and then the aptly named “submit” button.

I have no clue what I agreed to. Did I just give Apple my left testicle?

These agreements aren’t fair!

I, like most consumers just want my damn computer to work. I want my software to work.

I honestly don’t give a crap about the companies that are oh so intent on protecting themselves.

If they make good shit I’ll buy it, and use it. If they don’t… or their shit stops being good, or they update it and I don’t’ like the update I’ll find something else. In fact I’ve done exactly that.

We all know that Quicken Products have become something to be replaced as quickly as possible. It’s interesting that Quickbooks (Which BTW I paid $300 for 10 years ago, and then $149 for 7 years thereafter) is discounted on the Intuit site to $199. I know a lot of people that are searching for less expensive alternatives, and they’re finding them.

Those of us that helped the Omni Group build the popularity of their products aren’t updating their products anymore unless we absolutely have to. Mainly because the Omni Group is greedy, charging WAY TOO MUCH for upgrades. 

Several years ago I had enough, I no longer have any Omni Group programs on my computer.  I was a serious fan. At one point I owned the professional editions of all their core applications. Now, I use Powerpoint, or Adobe Illustrator instead.  

The cost of upgrades aside, I absolutely can’t stand being held hostage to an agreement from Apple so that I can update applications I purchased from 3rd parties. The agreement Apple threw in my face this morning was exactly that. Had I not agreed to it, I wouldn’t have been able to update the applications that I’d purchased.

And people talk about Google being “Evil“… 

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Apple really needs to understand, they’re the ones that created the app store / update mechanism.

They probably shouldn’t remind all us Sheeple that we’re hostages. Otherwise we’re likely to see what alternatives are available.

Wha… I see an update server… Baah Baaaaahh.

 

 

Paraprosdokian Of the Week

A Friend sent me a list of these. I thought it would be fun to share them.

Paraprosdokians are phrases or sentences that lead us down the garden path to an unexpected ending.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.