But then I get pissy because my distractibility leads me to doing stuff that isn’t actually forwarding my goals.
My God Son indirectly pointed this out to me.
He asked how the book was going and was genuinely interested.
The book is moving forward. It’s just that it’s moving too slowly for my expectations. BUT THAT’S Nobodys fault but mine.
I have to learn to be more even tempered… at my ancient age you’d think I’d have this stuff down pat but I don’t
I’m stressing internally about a lot of things. I want to finish the book, I need to find a new job and if I find a new job out of state… I’ll be forced to make a decision between a long relationship and being able to support not only myself but others as well.
However, that too is something that isn’t reason enough to get pissy.
Again, the people that care about me and love me shouldn’t have to put up with me being an asshole.
What reason do they have to love me at all if all they ever get from me is snottiness because I’m all wrapped up in my shit?
I really have to get my shit right and remember that the people who love me must always have a special place in my head and my heart that is free of external B.S. They should always know that I care very much about them, and the only way I can make sure of that is to make sure is to show them.